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[comingroundthemountain2]

Hi, I was hoping for some advice.
Me & my partner have been together for 10 years, have one DC 12 months.
We're going though a rocky patch. Talked things over, trying to repair our relationship. I've told him he needs to pay more attention to our dc
The thing is my partner still isn't making much of an effort. He spends the whole of his free time on his phone. I try & have a conversation with him & he barely acknowledges me or his dc.
I suggested that after our DC goes to bed, we have a chilled night together, snuggle up on the sofa & watch a movie. He spent the whole time on his phone barely acknowledging me.
Second night we were supposed to have a movie night, he went to sleep.
He had over a week off work for Christmas, he wouldn't get up with our dc, he won't put our DC to bed, barely acknowledged both of us & spent most of the time on his phone.
He has no parental responsibility at all, it's all left to me & I'm getting sick of it.
Part of me thinks that we should end our relationship, sell the house & split the assets. I could totally manage being a single mum as I'm practically one anyway. I'm so confused about what to do.
Help!

I’d split, you’ve asked him to pay more attention to you and your child and he obviously doesn’t want to. Better to be happy on your own than miserable as a couple.

@Purplethrow I don't know how to go about it

Are you married? I’d start by getting all your financial information together, bank statements, pay slips etc and seek legal advice. Try and see if you would be able to claim any benefits. Would he leave ?

What would happen if you were very ill and bed ridden? Would he step up and look after his child?

What if you had to suddenly go and look after one of your parents if they were taken ill and you couldn’t take your child to stay, would he cope with caring for his child for a few days?

Does he actually know how you feel and what will happen if things don’t change?

There needs to be a more serious chat about your expectations in the relationship. Love isn’t the only thing you need from him or for him- it’s about respect, trust, knowing that your partner is there when you need it. He’s not giving you any of that.

You leaving him is an option for you. Get your ducks in a row as per @Purplethrow’s advice to see how it would work.

For the sake of a 10 year relationship, I wouldn’t just LTB, you need to tell him exactly what’s going through your mind and if there is still no change or acknowledgement that there is a problem, time to make some choices.

Sorry you’re going through this.

Don’t make the mistake of investing and wasting more of your life with him because of the sunk cost reason. Only you know how hard you have tried to make him change, only you know how much more you can take.

Sunk cost fallacy

@Purplethrow no we're not married.
Yes I've spoken to him a few times about him needing to do more when it comes to our child.
I couldn't afford the mortgage by myself so we'd have to sell the house

@soutiner I don't know, my parents don't live very far from where we live

The answer to @Soutiner question should have been ‘yes of course he would step up’ you obviously don’t think he will .

Even if he’s neglecting you he should want to interact with his dc.
I really would seek legal advice , you sound so unhappy. X

@Purplethrow I am. He does interact with DC & is very loving toward dc but he's doesn't pay as much attention to DC as he should. Does that make sense?