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Original poster

I can't get rid of the stuff..

50 replies

IliveonCoffee · 30/12/2020 08:30

Books, craft stuff, other stuff.

Right now there is a bag in my hallway, with books I'm past wanting. Books from my childhood - big chunky ones. But I can't see myself giving them away, to languish unwanted in a charity shop. I'd put them on fb, but almost feel upset at the idea of giving them away to "me" "me plz", who literally grab anything they can for free. Or worse, selling them for a pittance - £1 each for all the hours I poured in them.

Same with the CDs currently staring at me on the tv stand, we don't even have a cd player any more... they literally get played in the car...if that.

And the craft stuff, okay broad definition here, but so many sketchbooks (2 pages removed), colouring books and dot to dots with 3/4 done. Absolutely worthless, yet I can't see myself throwing them out.

It feels such a waste. I really want to clear them out. But like the bag in the hallway, I sort out what I don't want but can't actually decide how they are going to leave.

How do you get rid of stuff?

OP posts:
RoseHarper · 30/12/2020 08:32

Think of the pleasure and use someone else might get from them. They have served you well and thinking of someone who might otherwise not have access to lovely things getting the use of something makes it easier for me to get rid of things.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2020 08:33

Do you have hoarding tendencies op?

Really when you’ve not got use for things any more, then give them away. Who cares if someone literally grabs everything, ultimately it goes to someone who wants it.

Oldraver · 30/12/2020 08:34

I feel your pain. I tried to give away books, games (in perfect condition) trainers. A few me plz and no follow up when I asked when thye wanted to collect

Or worse, you agree for someone to have it then you get a too-ing and fro-ing where they cant decide whrn thye will be in town next

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Books
JingleJohnsJulie · 30/12/2020 08:36

If I give stuff away I think of three things usually, one the pleasure someone else will have from it, if I charity shop it then I know it's earning revenue fir then and I also think of the lovely space it will be giving me in my home.

If you have bags of poke in your hall that you literally can't part with, is your house very cluttered? Could you have hoarding tendencies?

justanotherneighinparadise · 30/12/2020 08:41

I like those charity door to door collections where you put a bag outside the house. I know they are a business and only a portion of the money goes to charity but nan it’s handy.

justanotherneighinparadise · 30/12/2020 08:42

Man

Roselilly36 · 30/12/2020 08:42

It is hard letting things go. But the more you do it the easier it becomes OP.

I am in the process of moving, a massive downsize, I have been sorting & clearing. I am past the stage of worrying about what things have cost, I am giving items away to friends that might be able to reuse them.

Other items to charity shops, and lots of items to the tip that no one wants.

When clearing think of what you want to keep, take those item and set them aside, everything else can go.

Once the items have gone, you won’t miss them at all, and the extra space will be lovely.

Good luck OP, you can do it Flowers

AnnaSW1 · 30/12/2020 08:46

Take them to a charity shop. Why do you think they'd languish unwanted?

Eckhart · 30/12/2020 08:49

Your mistake it to think that things languish unwanted in charity shops. They don't. They get bought and used by people who need them. You are currently selfishly holding on to things you don't want or need, so that people who can't afford to buy them new are going without or overspending. Do the decent thing, for yourself, for their future owners, and for charity: Give them to a charity shop.

You will feel better as soon as you walk out of the shop door having left them behind, because currently all they're giving you is this horrible decision to make.

CremeEggThief · 30/12/2020 08:51

What do you mean by the hours you put into them? You chose to spend that time doing something you loved. Be grateful for that.

Original poster
IliveonCoffee · 30/12/2020 09:06

I promise there is only one bag in the hallway! And it hasn't been there long.

I can be untidy, which does make things seem cluttered and I think that doesn't help...

I'm generally good at clearing the practical stuff. But I think the hardest stuff I'd where I've attached a value that just isn't really there. The cds I've spent £5/10 are never going to be worth that. The books I couldn't even put a price on.

As for stuff languishing in the charity shop...I'm not entirely sure where I've formed that idea...I think a combination of unreliable sources, advising no-one buys books, charity shops don't want your rubbish etc. I suspect it's one of those ideas that when actually examined is a load of crap...

Strangely, I like the idea of thinking it selfish and I really really should not care what happens after its left me.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 30/12/2020 09:10

I offer lots on Freecycle/Freegle and imagine other people getting enjoyment out of them.

Eckhart · 30/12/2020 09:12

Would it make a difference if you knew the things would get grabbed and queued up for if they were in a charity shop?

I'm not saying that's necessarily what would happen, I'm more trying to get to the bottom of what's stopping you. If you advertised the things and got 20 responses for each item, would you be more willing to part with them?

JingleJohnsJulie · 30/12/2020 09:12

If you haven't done the dot to dots yet, I don't think you will. Can you start by recycling those?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 30/12/2020 09:16

Have you got a charity BOOKshop nearby? The one near us gets through stock quickly. Especially children's books.

Audacity7 · 30/12/2020 09:20

Sell them on music magpie or Ziffit and then treat yourself .

FoolsAssassin · 30/12/2020 09:22

How honest are you being with yourself about the rest of the house? I worked with someone who was a horrendous hoarder but her denial was strong. When told that the fire safety inspector said the house was borderline uninhabitable she couldn’t get her head around it, assumably it was at odds with the bit of clutter narrative she had built herself. This is obviously extreme but I think the principle holds in other situations.

Think the suggestion of recycling the dot to dot books is a good first step.

AmandaHoldensLips · 30/12/2020 09:23

I sold a ton of books and CDs on Music Magpie. It's really easy with the barcode reader app. I have downsized to just 17 boxes of books Shock

Too much stuff just weighs you down.

Mintjulia · 30/12/2020 09:24

Craft stuff to the local playgroup

Unless you have any first editions, books are virtually unsaleable, so take them to the tip

I use my CDs in the car, I haven't reached that stage yet Smile

wellthatsunusual · 30/12/2020 09:25

I am at the opposite end of the spectrum. I regularly do a big clear out and I can't bear to keep the stuff. I have a few bags sitting in my house that need to go to the charity shop but can't for the next six weeks because they are shut. They are upsetting me so much that it's taking all my self control not to take them to the dump instead.

MotherWol · 30/12/2020 09:26

My parents are in the process of downsizing for retirement, and my mum’s been boxing up books and CD’s for music magpie and ziffit. It’s not a huge amount per box, but it’s better than nothing.

GlumyGloomer · 30/12/2020 09:28

I sold most of my books for a fraction of their original value. They had a huge amount of emotional investment too, but they simply didn't fit in with my life any more. The things that helped me were thinking that
1, the books were just things. They don't feel abandoned by being moved on.
2, the authors would never know or care
3, I paid the money because it made me happy at the time. I never expected to get that money back. If having the space makes me happy now then that's the thing to do.
Worked for me anyway.

SpiderGwen · 30/12/2020 09:29

Reframe it @IliveonCoffee

Currently you are keeping those books from their purpose - being read! In your house they are merely slow inefficient compost. On the shelves of the local library, primary school, retirement home, shelter they are there to be enjoyed and loved. Set them free!

Ditto music: list it on music magpie so collectors can have the pleasure of listening to things you don’t anymore.

As for financial value: you’ve had your money’s worth. They have given you all the enjoyment they can, they have nothing left to add to your life. Appreciate that and pass them on.

DuzzyFuck · 30/12/2020 09:32

Is there a shelter or women's refuge near you OP? Our local one is always glad of toys, books and craft things for the families that stay with them.

SilentShadows · 30/12/2020 09:32

For books, I like to give mine to the local library. When I was a child and teenager I loved the libraries and being free to read my way through them, and like to think that by giving them books I'm helping others to do the same. Would you consider that for any of the books?