How do I explain this to a new partner

[halpplz483]

Maybe in this situation in the future.

I am pretty sure I am straight. I am very sexually attracted to men, especially when they are shirtless. I love foreplay, big muscles etc but as soon as genitals are involved I lose interest.

I have been in love, been with hot guys and I still have zero interest in the penis. I hate the feeling of anyone touching my vagina, it just feels like nothing is meant to go inside it.

I have also slept with a women to try and am not gay.

I am probably somewhere between straight and assexual.

I am very flirtatious as a person so may bring across to someone that I am very sexual. I feel very sexual and lustrous but I just dont want him touching my parts or me to touch his.

I have been in a relationship where I pretend to enjoy sex about once a month to tick a box, but I hate sex all the time.

I have tried it many times and i don't like anything about it. I don't even care that I don't like anything about it. I am happy being this way. I just wish I had a partner who felt the same.

If I got into a new relationship I wouldn't have sex. Maybe once to try it, but I would stop having it to tick a box. It feels wrong to me to do it out of obligation.

How do I explain this to a new partner and how would I find someone who would be ok with this?

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

And before anyone suggests I am really not interested in therapy as i can't afford it and don't want to 'fix' me I just want to find someone who will accept me.

anyone?

I guess you just have to be upfront with potential new partners and gauge the reactions. It's not wrong to feel how you do and I am sure there are men who would have the same feelings as yourself.

Have you tried OLD? You could maybe pop it in your bio which would then weed out the ones who are only wanting sex!

You never know though, once you meet someone you really connect with, you may feel more comfortable and start to enjoy sex, if not that's fine too.

Good luck

I'd try to find an online asexual community or dating site to join. You'll find likeminded partners there.

the really hate the idea of online dating. I meet so many people I connect with in real life but I tried online dating and my success rate was so much less even if I thought we had a lot in common. I feel exposed online for some reason

I am saying this kindly but you may find that having a lot in common with a potential partner isn't enough when you take sex off the table. I would recommend being up front in the 1st/2nd date so that if the person isn't on board they don't get too invested.
Sorry to be probing but when you say foreplay without genitals are you taking that to mean kissing? For me foreplay would definitely include intimate touching just not full penetration.

You have to be honest and upfront with any potential partner but there are people out there who think like you op. As others have said maybe try an asexual website?

@Thisendsnow

I mean sexy underwear and dancing, kissing all over, dirty talk, dry humping too.

@Shaniac I have thought of that, I just hate online dating. I hate the way it feels, I don't just want to judge on looks

Are there any asexual online communities that you could join, get to know people as friends and see if you click with anyone?

The thing is, unless you meet someone in real life who feels the same way you do, you’re always going to have one person who’s not happy with the situation and is either having to do something they don’t want to do, or not having sex with the person they care about. And that’s not going to work for either of you.

that sounds lovely and a part of foreplay, but I would be expecting a little more than that if 'foreplay' was on the cards.
I think you need to be really explicit with a new partner so they know your hard limits and not to push them.
Do you get aroused from doing these things? or ever take it further with yourself? As long as you are 100% happy and comfortable and not just doing these because you feel you must.
There is someone for everyone out there - its a numbers game of wading through the unsuitable ones

@Thisendsnow yes perfectly comfortable with doing foreplay as I described above and I really enjoy it, but not any further.

I only know two men who are assexual and they are not my type in the slightest.

@Sn0tnose I am sure there are online communities but I think that will be last resort for me. I am 24 so not desperate to find someone I know I am young. I really dont want my picture on an online dating site and its a red flag not to have a picture