New years ideas for grieving husband

[bigbluetractor]

My poor DH is grieving and is struggling right now. His Dsis died suddenly this year and we have managed to get through Christmas ok because of DCs. He had some very quiet moments but all in all he coped very well.

But new year is going to be hard, very hard and I don't know what to do to help him through it. He has already started to withdraw into himself. It will only be us and DC and they (hopefully) will be in bed.

Please can anyone help me with some ideas of how to get him through it as gently as possible.

I think you need to ask him what he would like to do. He may have an idea, he may have not even thought about it, but I don't think making plans for him would be helpful. He might just want to go to bed at 10, honestly.

Thanks for your reply Aqua.

Just talked to him about it and he wants to go to the beach a walk to blow away the year. So will probably go in the afternoon and then he wants to ignore it all. Might get some fish and chips on the way home for a treat and then just gonna watch some crap tv and go to bed at our normal time. But all this is weather permitting and we are forecast snow so will just have to see what the day brings.

It's a minefield. Grieving without friends and family around is strange. I think people have forgot about us because of covid and he is angry and hurt that he has very little support outside of me. But he is not angry at us and is not taking it out on us, he just withdraws for a while.

I hate seeing him so sad. Breaks my heart but I know he will be ok eventually.

I'm so happy to read your update. Grieving is such a lonely and varied process, isn't it? Having to work through loss during a pandemic adds a whole other layer to it as well. I have no doubt your husband is very grateful for your concern and support.

He is very grateful. He has said so many times that he would have really struggled without us. I think he realised how much he is loved this year.

Grief is horrible but unfortunately something everyone goes through and everyone goes through it differently so it is hard to know what to do to do right. I was feeling very low last night, I sometimes struggle with the weight of it all and worry that I am going to do something to upset him more.