How do I politely decline this birthday present?

[EssexLioness]

Hi, It is my birthday coming up soon and I have caught wind of one of the gifts that my DH plans to get me. Frankly, it’s awful and something I would never want and I would rather do without a gift altogether. It isn’t crazy expensive but not exactly cheap either and i would rather be honest so he can get a refund on the item.
Normally I just say thank you and accept presents in the spirit they were intended or discretely send them to the charity shop. However this will not be as easy to do as my DH will read my true feelings and notice if I get rid of the item.
Added to the mix, my husband usually does pretty well for gifts etc and I know he will have tried hard with this too... but I really hate it and tbh I think a lot of people my age would feel the same. Added to this, I am autistic so struggle with the right words sometimes and can be unintentionally blunt/ too direct. How do I politely and kindly say ‘thank you so much for taking the time to choose my present, but it is awful and I hate it’? 😬 or should I just accept the waste of money and move on?
I don’t want to say what the gift is as it is quite specific and linked to my other posts, it could be identifying to family members on here. Suffice to say, it is a popular but ugly figurine of a character from a show that I don’t even watch or like (and he knows this).

Why not just tell him now that you heard he was going to get you Y and that's so thoughtful but really you'd prefer X?

How did you ‘catch wind’? Could you switch on to the programme/show when your DH is in earshot and express your hatred? At least he can return it!

I think I'd have to tell him tbh. Just be honest. If you want to be polite, throw in a compliment about the bigger picture eg tell him you're chuffed he puts effort into buying you presents and you love receiving them, but it's lucky you caught wind of this one as just, this time, this one isn't right for you.

I was chasing an order on Amazon and didn’t realise I was on his account, not mine. Saw couple of other little bits he’s got me and they are fine.
Good idea about mentioning the programme beforehand. Then if that doesn’t work then I can say it’s not for me, but thank you for all the thought he’s put in. I know that probably sounds like an obvious thing to do but I do struggle with knowing how to express things sometimes. And I know he will ask me what I think/ do i like it etc. Other people don’t tend to ask this so I can just smile and say thank you.
I love giving presents but I hate receiving them as I find it so stressful!

Could you 'come across' them online in front of him and make a comment about really not liking them?
It would be difficult admitting that you know he's got one and telling him to return it without being very blunt.

Yes I think that would work. I could maybe combine that with the tv suggestion above. So maybe say how much I dislike the programme and that I’m surprised that these sort of ornaments are so popular. That might work

Why would he buy you this thing that you don’t like from a programme you don’t watch?
Are you sure it’s for you?

Does he like/watch the related programme?
It may not be for you after all and for him or a late arriving present for someone else.

Who in their right mind would order their dw a erm as an example a baby Yoda? Are you sure it isn't something for himself?

Ha, I immediately assumed it was a baby Yoda too!

Dead easy to return on amazon

Just log into his account and do it

No need to even mention it .

how on earth are you thinking he put a lot of thought into this gift??...you don't watch the show or like ornaments and he picks that.

It's like buying driving lessons for someone who already drives....

*assuming the ornament is for you though

Yes, try browsing on Amazon for something then find this present and say to him, showing him item on screen “oh my god just look at this that’s popped up, isn’t it absolutely awful! Who on earth would buy that!” Or similar. And laugh your head off.

Baby Yoda!!?? Are you sure he's not buying it in the hope that you won't like it so he can then keep it for himself? If he knows you don't like it then he hasn't put much thought in, I'd open it and be like 'oh er ok?? why did you buy me this exactly??'

Ok busted! It is a baby Yoda! 😂 (pretty sure my sister in law would know it was me, even without this detail)... I was desperately hoping it was for him but I’ve looked everywhere and it isn’t in sight. If it was for him he would’ve unwrapped it straight away and put it in his office/ his bedside table. So I don’t know for sure it’s for me but I have a dreaded feeling that it is! It definitely isn’t for anyone else so either for him, or me.
Admittedly he hasn’t put as much effort into my birthday this year as he usually would, but Christmas was lovely. He got admitted to hospital earlier this month for emergency treatment so hasn’t had the time to think in as much detail as he usually would and tbh he doesn’t need to buy me anything this year. I am just grateful he is home and safe.

Can you say, "Aww I saw your Amazon account by accident and saw you've bought yourself a baby Yoda! When is it arriving?" If he says, "It's for you" then just show complete astonishment? "Me? But I don't like Star Wars and hate ornaments!"

Had to google baby yoda.
Who in their right mind would gift that to an adult? 🤣 (well unless you are totally into sw, but even then) I would assume it was a trick present to hide the real 10 carat bracelet or new mansion present, it would be the only way to make up for....that 🤣.

Can you give him some specific ideas on a list? I know it takes away the surprise but also takes away the stress.

Put baby Yoda into your Facebook. Let an advert come up, share the advert on your feed and say how bloody awful and tacky they are with a couple of laughing emoticons.

Job done.

Sorry that wasn't helpful, I would simply tell him before your birthday. But pp's suggestions about commenting on ads are probably more polite.

I suggest you watch the mandalorian on Disney plus. Yabvvu to call baby yoda ugly - BTW his name is Grogu and he is frickin awesome. I suggest you have a word with yourself. Your, ahem, 'ugly' figurine will go up in value, guaranteed, so hang on to it, learn to love him, and if you really can't, you could probably ebay it for 5 times the price in a years time. or send it to me

Say you had a nightmare about Baby Yoda last night and how much he freaks you out.

I had a similar Star Wars figure for Christmas off DS and I love it. Would have loved a baby Yoda/Grogu too! But I am a complete Star Wars geek.

I agree with PP - perhaps something along the line of 'I don't get pop/bobble head figures, especially as presents'

thank you so much for taking the time to choose my present, but it is awful and I hate it’? I'd say exactly that to DH, I don't understand people who can't tell their spouse how they feel. DH (and I if the toles were reversed) would be happy to sort it out.

However, it does seem highly unlikely that this present is for you.