Has dp ruined the Xmas magic?

[snoww]

Yesterday dd asked me and dp what we got in our stockings as a child. I told her what I could remember. Dp said he never had a stocking as a child. Followed by ' my mum probably found it too expensive to do one for all 5 of us' 🤦🏻‍♀️
Dd didn't say anything and I quickly changed the subject whilst glaring at dp.

She's almost 9 and has been questioning a lot about Christmas.

He's just confirmed it hasn't he?

If she will be almost 10 next year then it's likely she wouldn't believe anyway.

My DS5 and my spouse went shopping for my stocking together as they do. We’ve never either built up nor denied Santa. We do grottos and all that but we don’t push it. Our 5 year old is fine, your 9 year old will be too.

My kids have always known I pay for the presents and Santa brings them so would not be an issue here.

Sadly OP yes I think that probably will have confirmed it (in our house the question over why he didn’t get a stocking would have been an outrage because Santa only brings the stockings and one special gift here)

But if DD has been questioning a lot she clearly already had her doubts, so a little thoughtless of DP but may not have been solely to blame if magic is gone

Perfectly reasonable age to be questioning things. She’s nearly 10. I would be slightly concerned if a child over that age genuinely believed!

She's 9 years old. I very much doubt she still believes in it anyway.

The ‘magic’ is not gone anyway.

Kids still enjoy the imaginative idea that stockings arrive overnight, we played out the reindeer food and stockings left out for years after logic told them it was all a story.

It’s not so black and white.

8 is old to really believe. She doesn’t.

I suppose your right. I doubt she will believe by next year. Just annoyed with dp as he's never made any effort with the Santa aspect, now it's over.

Doesn't last long does it !

Sorry OP, but your child is in year 4 (I am guessing if she is 9 next month). Children will begin to stop believing at this point. I personally don’t believe in telling children that all their gifts are given by Santa anyway, as it makes children wonder why do some kids get so many presents and some kids hardly anything

The magic is most definitely not gone, neither of mine believe this year but were just as excited about their stockings, in fact probably even more so when they realised they could now request stuff for it

I'm with your DP, he told the truth about himself. I think there's a difference between the story world and reality and your daughter is old enough to understand the distinction.

She probably knows already. Word spreads in the playground from age 7.

I don’t remember ever believing in Santa. My parents didn’t really talk abut it that way. We didn’t have stockings either. I say all this because I absolutely loved Christmas and was extremely excited every year. The magic isn’t over for her just because she realises Santa doesn’t exist. Maybe your DP had an upbringing like mine where Santa just wasn’t a big deal?

I think most older children are humouring their parents on this!

Sorry but if she is 9 you can't hang on to this much longer. She very soon will be getting sex ed at school and I dont think you can be learning that and thinking Santa is real and be moving up to secondary school. Don't say anything to her. I just dropped subtle hints to mine and they cotton on. We had always said we sent the money to Santa to buy the presents to get around not having any from us.

Although as like your, partner would be useless and if something was broken or wrong would take of taking it back to the shop! Hence the we give Santa the money helped with this bit

The magic of believing in Santa might disappear as our children grow up, in the same way, they come to realise that the tooth fairy isn't real.

Christmas is about so much more than believing in a fictional character, there's Christianity, Catholicism, Paganism, traditions from other countries. For me, the magic comes from creating a Christmas which is meaningful for your family.

I think it's more important she hears about her dad's background and experiences of Christmas than maintaining a myth she's inevitably going to drop soon, if she hasn't already. My dc stopped believing at around 6 - can't remember as we didn't do elaborate Santa stuff and I didn't like the idea of embellishing increasingly complex lies to keep it going as long as possible. Mine are 11 and 13 now and Christmas is very magical for us in the sense of being about family, traditions and a lovely break from normality.

DS 7 asked about stockings and I was open that I fill them. We've always done one Santa present anyway, I've never commented on stockings.

DS 9-10 has asked about where Santa gets things from and I have said that it's such a huge operation these days that he has commercial contracts with multinational companies.

Santa's workshop doesn't really cut it any more anyway

Also as they get older and questioning I would feel abit uncomfortable keeping it going. It’s like you are making a fool of them.

My dp told his son, who will be 10 in march, that santa isn't real on xmas day. His son lives with mum and went back to hers for boxing day etc. Apparently his son cried and said his dad had lied to him.. my dp explained that christmas is about family etc.

I thought it was a bit mean when he told me as his son seemed to genuinely believe in santa. Now reading this thread it doesn't seem as mean as I thought! The boy is in year 5 at school. Don't know what his mum said about it when he took him home.

Bit mean to say on Christmas Day.