Apologizes for the long post but I’d like opinions that aren’t from family which are usually biased! Me and my daughters father separated around 3 and a half months ago, she is 8 month old. Our daughter was born in lockdown (April) but when things started opening, I.e pubs etc he was hardly there, never helped or supported me. He spent around an hour or 2 with his daughter a week (even when she lived with him) Sometimes he’d work away all week, come home see his daughter for an hour on the Friday then would go out all weekend and stay at his parents house. Sometime he would come home at 1 in morning, then stay in bed till 3 the next day, go out again the next night till all hours or stay out.. The days in the week he didn’t work away, he’d come home have a shower and go sit in his friends unit messing around. Literally never helped me at all. When I did finally leave, he’d ask to see her but never show up I’d be sat in waiting all day/night with her! We decided to stick to a Saturday where he sees her, I’ve breastfed her so I’ve not let him take her out, also there’s other reasons I dont feel comfortable with him taking her out he loses his patience too quickly and he doesn’t know her enough as he’s only bothered to spend a few hours a week with her etc. LO is now 8 months and dad’s been kicking off last few times as he wants to take her out himself says I’m the selfish one. I asked him weeks ago to start coming in the week when he isn’t working away to spend more time her, to get to know her more as she is quite clingy to me now. However he hasn't bothered to stop once! Just does his bit for a few hours once a week on a Saturday. Over the last few weeks he has started kicking off because he wants to take her out for a few hours himself. He can get very Nasty and sometimes aggressive when starts, I.e throwing things at me, getting right in my face shouting nasty degrading words. He states he is going to stop paying me child maintenance because “I’m a single bum who gets everything paid for” I’ve since found out he was actually seeing some other girl all that time he wasn’t there at weekends. Therefore he chose to spend time going out getting drunk meeting up a girl over spending time with his daughter? I assume it is the reason he now wants to take her out on his own in between breastfeeds. But for one I do not feel ready to leave her yet she’s only 8 months old and plus I think he is an unfit parent, he is very immature, doesn’t have an attachment with her, he has got aggressive on more than one occasion with me. Now he says he doesn’t want to see her until he can take her out in his own.
Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Do I sound unreasonable for not leaving her with him or let her take her out? Or do you think I could take it further with a solicitor but what would the outcome be?
Thanks for reading