How is Christmas with older kids?

[Piccalino3]

Just wondering?

I love Christmas. I love the prep, planning and the magic of it all. I also have 3 young kids (1,4,6) and although it is really quite magical at times I also find it so draining. Obviously it's very busy before Christmas with things to do, Christmas Day there's cooking and excitement off the charts and today I was looking forward to doing nothing but all they've done is pester me to open more presents (we still have some under the tree), for chocolate and to play games and sort toys out. I just want to be left alone to slob about, go back to bed, watch what I want on tv without anyone climbing on me and moaning to watch Paw Patroll or Cocomelon.

So, my question is, I'm already dreading the day the magic goes and the last believer doesn't believe, days out to see Santa are gone and they don't all want to do family days out but there must be positives? Can you still find the magic with older kids? Do you still enjoy Christmas as much? Do you mourn the days for when they were little and waiting for Santa? I know it's a while away for me but I always feel a bit sad when Christmas Day is over and I'm aware these years are short. Just pondering it all really.

I enjoy it more now they are older (14,16), less stress as I don’t have to sneak around, they don’t wake up too early and there’s less presents to wrap. I don’t miss the plastic tat and the packaging that comes with it all. They don’t get tired and throw tantrums anymore and they don’t pick at their Christmas dinner 😁.

I have an 11yo. She insisted on waking us up early to do presents. We had a very nice time, ate breakfast, and then she retired to her phone and I took a nap. We had an easy meal where I didn’t have to help her with anything and then everyone grabbed their favorite cookies and we watched a film together. There was no magic, but there was still magic. It was a relaxed family day with lots of fun together.

Mine are late teens and still love Christmas. Santa still comes. My DD cooked the main part of our Christmas dinner this year. We had a lovely day.

I’m 40. I still enjoy family days out and I got games for Xmas. Looking forward to DC being old enough to play them with me!

17 and 13 year old boys here. Came into our room for a cuddle and a chat before they opened their stockings, laughing about funny incidents from previous years.

Opened their stockings together, helped sort out breakfast, supervised handing out the main presents.

Walk across the common without any moans. Helped set for dinner, helped clear, then sat down to watch a film together.

Absolutely magical day, and far far less stressful than when they were tiny.

We'd already baked gingerbread, mince pies, shortbread. They love choosing and decorating the tree. Looking at the Christmas lights. Going ice skating. Honestly, get the traditions in place now, and they look forward to repeating them each year.

Ours are 23, 20 and 18.
Home for Xmas.
It's been a funny one this year, there's usually 12 of us for xmas lunch, another gang on boxing day and away with the inlaws for new year.
Very quiet by comparison but some nice moments;
They stayed up late to watch midnight mass with me and sang along with the carols.
They have baked gingerbread houses and biscuits.
Made cocktails galore.
Had a shooting competition.
Walked the dog so much he doesn't want to go anymore
Taught me yoga!
It has been lovely.
They are genuinely great people.
But I know they are making the best of a bad situation and would like to see their friends too.

Ours are 16 & 17, but they still love doing all the traditional Christmassy stuff, lots of Xmas films, making hot chocolate, cheesy Xmas music. They both still insist on an Advent Calender and leaving a carrot and mince pie for Santa

I actually much prefer Christmas nowadays. We all got up at a very civilized 8.30am and there was still lots of excitement still while opening presents. Ate panatone and drank coffee for breakfast, and they cleared away while I showered. We met up with family for a long walk, then came home for a lazy Christmas Dinner, courtesy of Marks & Spencer's (they cleared away again). Then they went off to their rooms to chill while DH and I watched a film. Later DD got supper ready and we all watched Deck The Halls.

It was just very relaxed, very restful. I don't miss the 5.30am wake up calls and the very real graft that goes hand in hand with a Christmas + Young Children.

Different, but still as lovely. But I loved Christmas before I had DS and had lots of rituals and traditions that already existed, so when he came along it was a sort of merging of all that with a small person.

This year has been a little tough as it's so unstructured - we would normally see family and have younger cousins around so DS wouldn't be on his own gaming quite so much, but it's still a lovely, magical time. If you love Christmas, your children will no matter how old they are, imo. Sleeping in till 10am yesterday was the icing on the cake!

They buy the wine & you finish it off together...
Don't bother putting stockings out night before -- they won't sleep until 2am.
Their gift to whole family is a better TV.

Kind of cool. :)

Three mid range teens here.
It’s still lovely. They want to make the gingerbread house, decorate, do jigsaws, leave out food for
Santa which is now tailored to me . They tidy their rooms on Christmas Eve which is a tradition from when they were little. And yesterday DP and I had a couple of hours together drinking coffee before they woke up, then it was all very chilled - but they still wanted to play hide and seek, board games, have sparklers in the garden. So I’d say all the best bits without the stress.

I certainly miss the “believing” years. Mine are 18/16/12. No pressure on Christmas eve with then going to bed. I put all the gifts in theis sacks and left them in my bedroom. I was up at 6 -as usual-so took them to the living room. I had to wake them at 10:50 as i was bored of waiting 😂

We played cluedo, ludo, and the Chase games and had a few drinks.

...today I was looking forward to doing nothing but all they've done is pester me to open more presents (we still have some under the tree), for chocolate and to play games and sort toys out...

What do you expect from three children under seven the day after Christmas?

I just want to be left alone to slob about, go back to bed, watch what I want on tv without anyone climbing on me and moaning to watch Paw Patroll or Cocomelon.

I'm single and childless and spent yesterday on my own; long lie-in, slobbing about, watching what I wanted on TV. Today I had a family Zoom call in which I sat silently while all my relatives discussed their children and grandchildren. Do you really want to swap??

It'll depend on the characters of the DC of course, but I find it much more relaxing with my older DC (21 + 19). It's partly that I used to have to balance the needs of small children with the needs of elderly parents though.

Honest answer? Assuming normal times - no lead up to Christmas, no school production, no Santa visits, no magic. DD is 20 and home from university. We waited until 10.30 for her to get up yesterday. She bought us some lovely Christmas presents and had a lovely lunch and a quiet day.

We have no local family and our parents are dead so Christmas is always underwhelming and rather boring TBH.

I do miss the over excitement and small children's madness ... however our 2 are now 20s , one back home due to Covid job loss and one living with BF , but she luckily managed to get back here for Christmas before we went into tier 4 ( Wales )
It's been lovely , we went over to see the inlaws for an hour or so Christmas morning, then back here to put the turkey in the oven and open the presents , had dinner at about 6 pm , so a reasonably lazy day
It's different , but still enjoyable ( and much easier 🎄 )

My ds is 12. His idea of the perfect Xmas is to sleep late, have croissants and berries for breakfast, open presents then spend four happy hours playing Minecraft and eating chocolate until lunch. He cleared a huge plateful of Turkey & roasties. Then more Minecraft, a game of chess (he beat me), more food and sleep.

He doesn't talk much except about zombies and the nether

Dc14, 12 and 10 here. We still do everything that we used to do when they were little, advent calendars, Christmas baking and crafts, a drive around the town to see the Christmas lights, stockings, carrot and mince pie left out etc.
The difference now is that the dc are old enough to Actually get on with it rather than Need everything doing for them. Eg, baking, they can do it all themselves, so I’m there to chat to them while they get on with it, rather than me having to actually be leading everything.

Cooking the Christmas dinner was really easy yesterday for the first time. Kids helped prep the veg, one sorted the starters, while I was carving the meat and another made the stuffing. Far more of a team effort rather than me slaving my own while they are playing. In this respect, I’ve had a much better Christmas than In the past.

A few years ago, I would have been in your position and dreading christmases in the future, but honestly, it’s been lovely. Enjoy what you have now, but also, look forward to the Future Christmases. They really are lovely in their own way.

One DS, 15, usually we spend Christmas on our main family holiday- heat and sun, ideally with pools or sea. I was worried this year.

However, it was great. He bought me a great book which I’ve enjoyed reading. We bought him some obscure history books, which he curled up with for a few hours. Christmas dinner was a good time to catch up, we laughed and enjoyed ourselves.

Despite his usual desire to be independent as much as possible, he asked for help buying a gift for his girlfriend. It was nice to be asked.

DD is 11 and I've hardly seen her today, is that pretty normal?

We've had brunch and played a board game and then she's been in her room watching TV and playing Minecraft. Keeps coming down for chocolate! Been a bit sad (lone parent) feeling a bit lonely but I suppose it's just they grow up. We will have some nibbles and watch a film shortly. I suppose I should be grateful I'm not building plastic tat!

Mine are 12, 9 and 4. The youngest whinged most of yesterday and had a huge tantrum just before bedtime. The eldest has been a misery since Christmas Eve, making catty remarks about absolutely everything. I’ve lost count of how many times she’s said she’s bored. She argues with her younger sister almost constantly. It is so draining.

There wasn’t a single moment when everyone was happy.

It has reduced me to tears and I never cry.

I escaped the house to go for a walk along the beach by myself this afternoon. I’m ashamed to say that for a moment I actually found myself looking forward to a Christmas without kids. I love them to bits but sometimes they drive me insane.

A 19 yr old and 2 in their 20s here
Christmas is lovely.
They want to retain all the traditions that we made as a family when they were little, but without the getting up before dawn has cracked, and certainly FAR more relaxed today.
The gin bill has gone up a lot, but it's a good exchange for having humans who are capable of washing up, cooking etc
In the run up, it is great -
You can buy everyone presents they want without having to count and make sure they have the same number to open.

You don't have to remember batteries, or spend 1/2 the day trying to put things together.

When we were opening presents yesterday, I remember when we were opening presents yesterday thinking how nice it was not to be sitting there making a note of who got them what, so I could remember when they were writing the thank you cards.
They take turns with the driving if you go anywhere that might be offering an alcoholic tipple
If you want to go for a walk and they don't, you can just leave them at home.
When the time comes they've 'had enough' of being together in the same room, then they go off to their own rooms rather than fighting in front of you. Or they message their friends and meet up (well, except this year).
It's lovely OP.

I’d say this year with DD (12) on my own has been my best Christmas ever 😍. So relaxed, and she said me being happy about the lovely gift she bought me was the best bit of her day. It’s just been full of gorgeousness. And the first one since having her that I haven’t felt woozy with tiredness all day!!

Mine are 11, 14 and 16, and I MUCh prefer Xmas now. Much. When mine were little I felt as you do, and was a dreading the day when none of them ‘believed’. But we can all enjoy Xmas so much more richly now, with so much less stress. We all properly ‘hang out’ together, which is wonderful.

You can’t imagine having big kids at all when you have little ones, but it doesn’t happen overnight - you grow into the change together as a family over a long period of time. And often they become such brilliant company.

Thanks everyone, I've loved this thread. I do see glimpses of it in my 7 year old who can do some things independently. Many of the comments I can SO identify with - being woozy with tiredness (pretty much normal state), the batteries, making notes of who everything is from in chaos, spending half the day making things, clearing cardboard and then the next few days trying to find places for it all!

@NoToMisogyny thank you, I am in the state of not being able to imagine being a Mum of older kids but what a lovely thought that we'll all grow into it together and so lovely to read how many people love the company of their children.

@Nunoftheother I'm sorry you've been alone over Christmas, that must have been really lonely, especially when everyone was talking about kids on the zoom call. I didn't have great expectations of being left alone but even 10 minutes proves impossible and my children are still awake and talking in their beds. Anyway, I hope you feel better, I know this has been a very hard year for people on their own.