Would you...?

[tunatwistypastabake]

Purely hypothetical at the moment. Interested what others would do and why! This is where I'm hoping / anticipating to be in a couple of years:

35, just finished postgrad qual. Self employed (pt, flexible).

Married 14 years; he's a goodun, two kids (g7 and b3). All money is shared 'family' money - both above average earners, DH significantly so. Small morgaged 3 bed in expensive area, own a flat let out in another city.

Baby 1 very prem, now totally fine.
Baby 2 big and full term. Arrived quickly. Horrifically painful piles and anal fissure after birth; didn't need surgery so I'm aware it could have been worse (but honestly can't really imagine this).

Always wanted 3 kids. First two arrived after I lost a lot of weight, following years of unsuccessful fertility treatment. Swore blind I was finished after #2 but now he's a toddler I'm getting wobbles. Dread the sleepless early years but like the idea of a bigger family of older kids / 3 siblings into adulthood etc. DH similarly minded.

Would you try for a third? Why? Why not?
Would you consider a CS on account of the bum issues after #2?

If your husband wants a third child as well then I would go for it and seek medical advice about the bottom issues as their may be more up to date solutions available now.

No. I'd count my blessings to have two children and enjoy life with them

On these threads I often say "quit while you are ahead and enjoy what you have", but you sound like you have a lot of money, work p/t so have a lot of time, and at 35 are relatively young. So if it's what you want to do I would possibly go for it.

Go for it! C section is a totally viable option. My husband had the snip so I'm done after two (for my own mental health reasons) . But would have loved a third.

I’d quit whilst ahead.

I have 4 siblings, we barely speak, hardly ever see each other. No big falling out, we’re just very different people with nothing really in common. More is not necessarily a guarantee that they will fit into the ideal picture in your head.

Another one saying quit while you're ahead.

The biological urge to reproduce is insanely strong, it is hard to make sensible decisions about this sort of thing, but I agree with PPs that your sweet little possible future baby could also turn out to be DCs nightmare sibling in thirty years time.

I think you must be mad to consider another. The planet does not need more people. It has been decimated and we have reached the point of no return environmentally. Two children is more than enough for anyone.

Hmm, all good points. Thank you!

We def don't have a lot of money, not by MN standards! Reading back I can see it might look like I was saying we are well off with a house in an expensive area but really what I was meaning was that we live in London so we're hemmorhaging money into a mortgage for a house that would be just big enough if we were to have another.

The environmental perspective is a really important one. For a while that felt very significant to me - like it made the decision a no brainer - but I think there maybe is some biological urge that's sabotaging my power of critical thought on the matter now.

Funnily enough, 'quit while you're ahead' comes to my mind a lot! My two existing kids are just brilliant (objectively, you understand) - what if #3 turns everything upside down?!

What if indeed! So, it should be simple. Don't risk everything to find out.