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Original poster

For Christmas my true love got for me...

28 replies

DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 16:18

Proof he’s been fucking my best friend for years.

We split a while back, always denied and blamed me for being insane. Today I get a missent photo instead of one of the kids saying he misses his baby.

Thank you Santa for proving I’m not wrong.

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 25/12/2020 17:03

Ah Jesus. Bloody arsehole!

CigarsofthePharoahs · 25/12/2020 17:32

Ouch!
Still, vindication is a good feeling.

SunshineCake · 25/12/2020 17:33

Did he name her in the text? As in, miss you NotDrizzle baby?

Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 17:34

Oh god yes vindication is amazing! As he hasn’t realised how do I use this to my best advantage? Do I message her, him or her ex husband who has also been convinced he’s insane??

OP posts:
Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 17:35

It was a screenshot of their message trail with pics of MY kids on it from this morning, so she’s clearly named. Snapchat I think, what are they 12?? Dick.

OP posts:
OhioOhioOhio · 25/12/2020 17:38

Do nothing. Or appear to. And start getting as much evidence as you can.

HollowTalk · 25/12/2020 17:40

Oh I had a similar gift one year. Has he realised he sent it to you?

HollowTalk · 25/12/2020 17:41

Is he still with you? She's now divorced?

TitsInAbsentia · 25/12/2020 18:04

What a pair of absolute shites! Merry fucking Christmas indeed.
Hope you rinse him dry.

Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 18:06

He’s not still with me, I called it because I couldn’t prove my suspicions but I just knew. Plus he shagged someone who worked for us, also denied. She’s recently split sort of as her DH(sort of not sure ex) also had suspicions but is hanging in there as he wasn’t sure.
He hasn’t realised he’s sent it at it is a group of 17 photos of kids. Or he has and is currently silently shitting himself.

We were all best friends as a foursome from age 18 to recently. Had babies/holidays/wedddings together.

Cunt.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 18:08

Sadly it’s me being rinsed as I bought the house in cash, and his car as I am the significantly higher earner.

We’ve been over for a while. But still he’s been making me believe I’m insane ever since.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 18:09

And he’s totally convinced his best friend, her husband so that they are in a weird state of over but not over. I’m a bit harsher!

OP posts:
SameToo · 25/12/2020 18:12

Gaslightings wanker. Pour yourself a glass of something and congratulate you intuition Wine

BelleSausage · 25/12/2020 18:15

@DrizzleandDamp

This is a careful line. You don’t want to give them too much emotional leverage over you. They are garbage people. The best way to make them feel like garbage people is to be dignified. If you go off on one then they will get defensive and be able to justify to themselves (and everyone else) that you are crazy and they are perfectly justified (they aren’t).

I’d use it as leverage to get more out of the split. Tell him you’ll be reasonable and not tell the entire world what a pair of cunts they are if he pays back the money for the car ad buys you out of the house.

Then once everything is signed and sealed tell your BF’s husband and sit back and watch the fireworks.

Never approach her. Just stop speaking to her and never tell her why. It’ll drive her crazy.

BillysMyBunny · 25/12/2020 18:20

It seems odd that he would take a screenshot of messages between him and her, who would he have taken it for? Are you sure he hasn’t sent it to you intentionally thinking it will upset you?

MisfitRightIn · 25/12/2020 18:22

[quote BelleSausage]@DrizzleandDamp

This is a careful line. You don’t want to give them too much emotional leverage over you. They are garbage people. The best way to make them feel like garbage people is to be dignified. If you go off on one then they will get defensive and be able to justify to themselves (and everyone else) that you are crazy and they are perfectly justified (they aren’t).

I’d use it as leverage to get more out of the split. Tell him you’ll be reasonable and not tell the entire world what a pair of cunts they are if he pays back the money for the car ad buys you out of the house.

Then once everything is signed and sealed tell your BF’s husband and sit back and watch the fireworks.

Never approach her. Just stop speaking to her and never tell her why. It’ll drive her crazy.[/quote]
Completely agree with this approach. Good luck Drizzle, hope 2021 is a better year.

MispyM · 25/12/2020 18:36

and he’s totally convinced his best friend, her husband so that they are in a weird state of over but not over. I’m a bit harsher!

I'd probably invite your good friend (her husband) for a walk or something and show him.

Apart from that I'd simply keep it and do nothing. Well, stop talking to her, obviously.

FangsForTheMemory · 25/12/2020 18:57

I’d definitely tell her husband, then sit back and watch.

Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 25/12/2020 21:22

It seems odd that he would take a screenshot of messages between him and her, who would he have taken it for? Are you sure he hasn’t sent it to you intentionally thinking it will upset you?

It was weird, it was a screenshot in a batch of Xmas pics of the kids from this morning. Why would that be in there clear as day? I
Can’t see the benefit to him of me knowing for sure when he’s lied for so long. Although I looked HOT today when I left so maybe he’s hurting? I really hope so.

You’re right though it’s a fine line, I don’t want to give them any of my emotional energy but I do want to maybe show her ex. Not sure I want the fall out though, managed to keep it amicable for the kids.

Torn between, ignore it and just know I’m right, stay “nice” for the kids OR go bitch - set up a group chat of our old group including all her family who love me but have never been convinced (we’ve been close for 20years) and drop in the screenshot and a gif of “vindication” .

OP posts:
Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 26/12/2020 14:59

Still haven’t actually made a decision! Does total inaction count as a choice?

OP posts:
Soutiner · 26/12/2020 15:15

I would re send it back to him with lots of laughing 😂😂😂😂.

HopeAndDriftWood · 26/12/2020 15:20

I’d say nothing. Don’t dignify it with a response. It makes no difference; you always knew, and any attempt to point that out to him is just going to suggest that you’re still hurting over this...

It is weird that it’s there, especially if it’s Snapchat and as it notifies the other person that a screenshot has been taken of the photo/chat/profile... so I’m also leaning towards that it’s not their accidentally - but it doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t respond anyway. Let him stew, and then realise that you don’t care enough to reference it.

yellowhighheels · 26/12/2020 17:04

Sorry for all this, OP Flowers What a git.

I would feel like telling her ex/ husband. If he's also been gaslit for ages he can now move on knowing his suspicions were right. If they're sort-of-split anyway then hopefully the fallout shouldn't be as bad as if he'd had no idea. It could be that the screenshot was sent deliberately to get you to tell the husband if your ex wants them split up but even if so, you'd have done the poor sod a favour.

Inaction is definitely a choice. You don't need to discuss this with him or her.

Original poster
DrizzleandDamp · 26/12/2020 17:21

True. I think I might flag to her DH then leave it and hope ex isn’t stupid enough to have a go at me for doing so!

I suspect she’s been taking the time he won’t give to the kids which really winds me up.

OP posts:
Fredelliottisayfredelliott · 26/12/2020 18:43

What did you do op?