Alcoholic husband drunk first thing on Christmas morning

[MonaRoza]

Hi All. I just wanted to share my frustration and sadness that my husband managed to get drunk first thing in the morning on Christmas Day. The excuse is kids playing up wanting to play with each other’s new toys.. He then passed out, as always leaving me to look after our young kids and cooking a Christmas meal at the same time. Wakes up saying the food isn’t good...I know this is not how life should be. I have thought about separating many times. It is yet another day of sadness and disappointment. Thank you for reading....

If I were you, this would be the last day he lives in the home, I assure you. Your poor children.

I’m so sorry for you OP. If you’ve thought about it many times, then 2021 might be the time to actually do it. Hope you can make the best of the day with DC xx

Well, if you're not going to leave, you need to accept that this is who you married, and learn to live with it, and the damage it will do your children.

I'd leave, though.

Oh love, think about separating some more. Don’t let him ruin all your day like this ever again. He’s passed out then had the nerve to say that the food wasn’t good! Cheeky bastard. Try and focus on the children and draw out what enjoyment there is from the day. And promise yourself that next year will be different.

I'm 20 years on from leaving a special occasion spoiling drunken shite. Every Christmas, I'm grateful not to be putting up with it.

if you can't think about what it is doing to you, think about what it must be doing to your children. I know what your New Years resolution should be. There are plenty of people on here who can guide you on what you need to do.

I am sorry for what you are going through

My lovely you deserve so much more than this, and so do your children. Make 2021 the year you change your lives for the better

I’m sorry. Here’s to hoping 2021 brings positive change and you and your DC don’t have to put up with him next Christmas.

I'm sorry, that's horrible for you. Please make the best of the day for yourself and your DCs and concentrate on the little happy things together with them.

Please think some more about whether or not your husband is adding anything to your life. From what you say this isn't a one off and whilst I am not going to say you should leave him, I can't see he is being a good example and fun parent for your DCs, or a great partner for you. I am sure you deserve more!

Keep this post bookmarked in case you wobble.

OP merry Christmas. You’re the saint in this. Today isn’t the day to plan an exit, but make sure you do as a 2021 resolution.

Absolutely separate. He's ruining Christmas for you and your children.

My dad was an alcoholic (dead now). You have my sympathy. Hope you find the strength to live the life you and your kids deserve.

That is sad. It’s so hard but I hope you find the strength to move on for you and your family.

What will next Christmas be like? The decisions you make now will make the difference between another special day spoiled, and you enjoying your newfound freedom. He won't change, only you can change the situation. Good luck.

Does he do this every week or only at Christmas, either way I understand your annoyance, is it a strategy to get out of helping.

Friend of mine stuck with her alcoholic husband. I don't want to say anything outing but it makes for a very lonely retirement for the person who is sober.
Don't be her!

@Ohalrightthen

Well, if you're not going to leave, you need to accept that this is who you married, and learn to live with it, and the damage it will do your children.

I'd leave, though.

I'm afraid @Ohalrightthen is right. Unless he gives up drinking it will get worse - much, much worse. It will damage the realtionship between the children and their father, and the relationship between your children and you. They will not respect you for staying with him. I speak from experience - not mine, but my SIL's.

He needs to go, or get sober.

I forgot to say, it isn't your fault he is drinking, you can't control him and you can't cure him, but you can take control of your own and your children's lives - without him. He will drag you down if you stay together.

www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

Life doesn’t have to be like this.
Nothing is so terrible than the fear.
Stop punishing yourself.

That's pretty sad on any day though, isn't it? He's an alcoholic and you well know he's not going to change for 1 day then revert to type the next. He'll drag you and your DCs downhill so if you're staying with him you'll need to find a way to counteract that. Nigh on impossible though, and it'll be a shitty life for your DCs. Wait until they get to the stage of being ashamed to bring schoolfriends and later down the line partners, to their home. If you're still with him, that will knock you for 6 alongside all the other crap you'll have put up with by then

Next year this I had better not be reading this, you need to leave too many Christmas days are ruined by alcohol, hugs,

My ex once went outside for a joint Christmas morning and upset DD (4 at the time) who wanted him to watch her open her stocking. I locked him in the garden for an hour and a half while we finished presents and had breakfast then let him in on the promise of being extra nice all day and then being gone by new year. Never looked back. Don't let him ruin Christmas for you or your kids ever again