WWYD - awful neighbours and young children

[WWYD2021]

Name changed. I’ll try to keep this short.

We have 2 boys -9 and 5. Both adopted. 5 year old is emotionally behind and immature due to early life experiences.

We live in a terraced house in London. DS 5 is quite loud and we are conscious of this and always trying to make him talk softer. He also gets over excited. One set of neighbours are lovely - never complain, engage with our kids. I am sure they lie but they say they never hear us. The other set is awful. They have lived in house for 18 years or so and their kids are now early 20s. Parents late 50s.

For the last 3 years - they have constantly complained about noise - eg our son on his 3rd birthday got a cleaning set and wanted to clean our patio windows. It was a school day and I let him go out in the back at 7.30am with a bucket of water and he started cleaning and laughing and giggling - and making a lovely mess. They wrote complaining. This is just one of the numerous pieces of correspondence we have had. Since lockdown in March - we have had constant “shut the fuck ups”. “Shut up you arseholes”. “Fuck you DS name. Fuck you WWYD2021” Its constant - at 9.30am, 11am. I tried to do some exercise in our living room (mostly strength exercises but 45 seconds of star jumps) - more abuse hurled.

To put into context - when their kids were young - constant screaming, shouting (in fact they struggled to cope with their son and sent him to boarding school for last 4 years). Even now - they have the most almighty rows as amongst themselves, play games into the early hours (lots of swearing in jest, drinking), they bang on our walls at 9pm when they know our boys are asleep.

We have not said anything but WWYD? I don’t want to move but I can’t go on like this and it will cost a fortune in stamp duty. I walk on egg shells...am dreading tomorrow morning when I know our boys will be up early with excitement.

It’s intolerable. Any advice?

I would seriously consider a house move TBH. There is absolutely no reasoning with these sorts of people .Some seem to think they should hear silence from next door when in a terraced home I mean WTAF! Can you consider a detached home maybe further out of London maybe? Then you would not have to worry .The constant stress of worrying about small DC being excited on Xmas morn is completely and utterly unacceptable IMO .

I'd move. They sound awful. In the meantime, you could retaliate by banging on the walls/ sending letters every time they are noisy to show them it's not a one- way street. But they sound like they'd just get even more unpleasant.

I don't think you sound like terrible neighbours. Your DC sound happy and sleep all night. Wouldn't bother me one bit and doesn't bother your other neighbours either. Sorry they're being so horrid to you all

Have you thought about sound proofing? We live in a semi detached house and have added sound proof boarding to the attached walls upstairs and underfloor sound insulation upstairs. It makes alot of difference.

Or just move as no amount of sound proofing will change rude neighbours.

On the flip side - I live in a paper thin terrace with 2 very loud children next door. They enjoy shouting at all hours (as do their parents), and they are never made to quieten down. We hear them from about 6am each day until at least 10pm each night.

It's like they live in our house and I am miserable. I've been hoping they'd break the rules and go elsewhere for Christmas but no. We can't move as we'd lose money in the current climate - if this wasn't the case we'd be off like a shot.

However, I wouldn't be an arsehole like your neighbours. In fact, we've never really said anything because how can you tell kids who have nowhere else to go to be quiet?

They are obviously incredibly selfish and totally useless as parents themselves. It's not you that's the problem. I would be tempted to move just for an easy life.

You need to make a decision. If you are going to sell in the next 5 years then you cannot pursue a complaint through any of the legal channels like the local council because then you would have to declare this in sellers information. if you arent going to sell then you need to take this up formally with your local councils environmental health department. deliberate shouting like this can be a statutory noise nuisance - its a tough one to prove but it can be done. if option 2 then start keeping a diary now of every time this happens. date, time what is said word for word. also think about mediation. if the two of you are going to continue to live side by side this is important. You dont have to just put up with this but what you do depends very much on what your plans are.

They sound absolutely awful. I’m so sorry you’re living like this.

I have awful alcoholic neighbours too. They would bang on the wall when my daughter had a meltdown. Shitty notes too. Weed through the walls.
Can't escalate it though as it'll make a sale harder when the DC's are older.

Don’t get all the moaning about a kid being outdoors at 730am, it’s hardly in middle of the night. Most people would be up at this time & it obviously wasn’t a regular thing. I would ignore them, think the pandemic has lowered tolerance levels

I would just ignore .We have a nightmare one next door too.
Three young children one ASD and non verbal .I have decided to let them be Kids as I keep shushing them all the time and I know that's definitely not normal .

If you can afford to move then do for your peace of mind .I can't afford to so we just get on with it.
All the best and don't let it get to you .xx

Personally I would enjoy winding them up