My mum is dying

[wlv12]

She’s in hospital, covid pneumonia.

One of us can be with her for an hour in the her final hours. She will die alone.

I am angry and full of grief and rage that this virus is taking her and taking her without the comfort of us by her side.

[Charlieandlola]

This is so unfair I’m sorry . I’ve read lots of accounts where nurses hold the hands of the dying so they aren’t completely alone .

[BayandBlonde]

OP i am so sorry, I wish I could say something to help. My dad is also in his final days (not covid). Its beyond devastating

[Chinam]

I am so sorry for all of you. Your losses are heartbreaking.

[FancySomeChips]

This is awful, I’m so sorry.
I’m full of rage for you too.

What a sad sad year.

[bearlyactive]

I'm so sorry OP

[HullBrian]

I am so, so sorry

[Jakadaal]

My heart goes out to you OP I was in that position earlier this year. It truly isn't fair or right. 💕💕

[LassFromLeedsWithALustForLife]

Nothing useful to add but just want you to know @wlv12 that I’m thinking of you and your mum. I’m sure that she knows she is loved. Wishing you all the strength and love in the world

[littlepieces]

I'm so, so sorry to hear this. We just had the same with my nan, it's been devastating. The cruel irony is that she used to be a palliative care nurse, and got a lot of satisfaction from making patients' deaths more comfortable. Yet she died scared and alone. My heart goes out to you it really does. This situation is impossible.

[DeRigueurMortis]

I'm so sorry you're facing this.

I do want to say however that your mother won't die alone.

Doctors and nurses are very much aware of preventing this from happening knowing family can't be with their patients.

I understand that's cold comfort in comparison to having family at the bedside but having someone to hold her hand, talk kindly and gently will help your mum when the time comes.

Perhaps ask if you can take in family stories for the nurses to read to her so even if you can't be with her you can ensure she's surrounded by loving family memories?

[Literallynoidea]

I'm so sorry for you OP

[Midwife1997]

I am so sorry for your hurt. My words cannot come anywhere near to the pain you are feeling. Just know that you are trying your best to honour your mum. Thinking of you.
Midwife

[Akasia]

I am so sorry op, losing a parent is never easy, but not being able to say goodbye is extremely cruel.
Lending you a virtual handhold 💐

[wishywashywoowoo70]

I'm so sorry. Sending love to you and your mum

[plominoagain]

I’m so sorry too . It’s all so bloody unfair . We lost my FIL a month ago, and until he went into hospital, him and MIL had never spent a night apart . He was 90 , and she is 88 . They managed just to get her there with ten minutes to spare , but she had to be there all alone. She’s lost without him , and I honestly don’t think she’s going to be here for much longer . I want to stamp my feet and howl at the rank unfairness of it all.

[mommybear1]

So sorry OP

[TooOldforBouncyCastles]

It’s horrific. People can’t see this is the cost of the virus as much as the death toll...those left unable grieve easily because the bereavement is so traumatic

[OhWhyNot]

I am so very sorry x
This virus is so cruel and so unfair

[Hailtomyteeth]

OP, do you pray? Light a candle? I've felt connection in prayer, with those at the end of life. You can be there in thought. As someone said to me recently 'I'll close my eyes and hold you in my mind and heart'.

[EdHelpPls]

I'm so sorry OP. X

[OhDearShirley]

I'm so sorry OP.
She won't die alone. The nurses and doctors with her won't let that happen.

[Babyroobs]

Thinking of you op.

[Defenbaker]

I'm so sorry to read your post, that must be incredibly difficult for you. I lost my mother 5 years ago, and although I spent hours by her bed the night before, she passed away when nobody was in the room. I was gutted, I thought she would last a few more days, but these things are hard for anyone to predict.

Your mum will probably be receiving medication to keep her calm and pain free, so it's likely that she will not be fully conscious and may be unaware of much that goes in around her. When you are able to visit her, speak gently and calmly to her, let her know how much she means to you and perhaps talk of happy times you spent together... holidays and such. Apparently hearing is the last sense to go.

My mother fell into a peaceful sleep then passed away a couple of hours afterwards. When I returned to her room afterwards, she looked utterly serene, like all her earthly cares had left her, and I was comforted by that. I hope your mother passes peacefully.