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Is this appropriate?

24 replies

MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 09:07

I'm thinking about buying a book for some colleagues as a gift for a tough year. I like the look of this one but worry that it's assumptive as it's about mental health. What do you think?

(Yes, I have form for overthinking)

blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/9781529410228?gC=5a105e8b&gclid=CjwKCAiAz4b_BRBbEiwA5XlVVn48Ttwry_yS3laVqCbO4dZwLVC_xaaEDWHFc7Vp6RucyiqBResmbBoCjU8QAvD_BwE

OP posts:
Cantreasonwithunreasonable · 23/12/2020 09:20

Try this one instead,
Wintering
By Katherine May

It's less 'in your face' than your first one but similar themes.

blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/Wintering-by-Katherine-May-author/9781846045998

ceeveebee · 23/12/2020 09:22

I got online national book tokens for my team this year, as I don’t know what books they already have and wanted them to be able to choose - perhaps that might be an option?

MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 09:24

Thanks. I'm not sure that I like that one as much. Realising books are such a personal thing!

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cariadlet · 23/12/2020 09:25

I wouldn't appreciate this from a colleague. I'd be overthinking too and wonder if I looked as if I needed it. As I don't do self help books, it's the sort of thing that I'd only read if it was on a reading list for some kind of staff training that I had to do. Sorry if that comes across too harsh.

If I was being given a present in recognition of a tough year, I'd much prefer wine or chocolates.

cariadlet · 23/12/2020 09:27

Oh yes, book tokens. I was given one for my birthday and one as a Christmas present from one of the children in my class. I'm really looking forward to having a good browse whenever bookshops near me are open again.

cariadlet · 23/12/2020 09:29

Wintering would also be heading straight for the charity shop. Books definitely are a matter of personal taste.

Alarae · 23/12/2020 09:39

I got a friend the All On The Board book. Its a compilation of the heartwarming tube message boards.

I've had a flick through yesterday and it is so heartwarming. Nearly went back and ordered myself a copy!

MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 09:44

Thanks for the suggestions. I've never heard of boon tokens. I'll have a look!

OP posts:
MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 09:44

*book

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QueenoftheAir · 23/12/2020 09:44

Crikey! Im a voracious reader & rarely take offence - a gift is a gift & should be appreciated as such. But I'd be a bit Hmm at receiving this from a colleague, and would start to wonder about their interactions with me.

Then I'd tell myself off for overthinking.

Then I'd distance myself from that colleague.

I think it's a bit of an overstep to give a self-help book to colleagues. For me, personally, I find self-help books a bit glib - I'd rather go read Freud, or Winnicott, or Paiget, or whoever.

BaronessBomburst · 23/12/2020 09:51

DH once got an American self-help book from a colleague. It was incredibly over the top and he only stopped feeling insulted and could laugh when he found out that the rest of the team had been given one too. Still it was a waste of money and they would all have preferred wine.
He recycled it.

MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 09:52

@QueenoftheAir thanks. This was my worry. I'm glad I checked.

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 23/12/2020 09:57

I’m also not a fan of a self help book. Unless I’ve specifically asked for the book, I would be very Confused if someone bought that for me.

MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 09:59

I'm not a drinker so worry about getting the 'correct' wine. I think book tokens are perhaps the way to go.

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QueenoftheAir · 23/12/2020 10:02

To celebrate the end of a tough year, and say thank you to colleagues I'd prefer flowers, or chocolates. Something absolutely trivial, unnecessary, and a splurge that people wouldn't buy for themselves.

John Lewis sells little boxes of Charbonnel et Walker chocolates for £5 - less than the cost of a paperback, and the kind of frivolous gift (really bad value if you like a lot of chocolate Grin !) that people would rarely buy for themselves.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 23/12/2020 10:02

Hmm no, I agree that it's not appropriate. I love books but I'd rather choose my own.

PleasantVille · 23/12/2020 10:03

@MissOrganisedMe

Thanks for the suggestions. I've never heard of boon tokens. I'll have a look!
You've never heard of book tokens Shock

Are you very young or from a forrin land Grin

I love reading but hate people giving me books, they have no idea of what I've already left or what I like. Unless someone asks for a specific book I'd never choose one as a gift.

ceeveebee · 23/12/2020 10:11

Book tokens are easier to send too - just all done by email and there is room to write a message too. Job done!

badlydrawnbear · 23/12/2020 10:13

I like the look of that book and now wish it wasn't too late to ask for it for Christmas, but I agree it is not the kind of thing you can buy for everyone. My mental health is a wreck, but, if it wasn't, I would be confused by receiving that as a gift. Giving books as a gift is always a risk, as you don't know what the person is interested in and what books they already have, so, if you know your colleagues like reading, I agree that book tokens are a better choice, especially if they can be used online depending on where you live and whether book shops are open where you are. Chocolate is usually better, or wine if you know your colleagues all drink. At my work we have done a Secret Santa with a list where people could suggest what they would like to avoid getting a rubbish gift, almost everyone who put a suggestion put wine or chocolate.

wowfudge · 23/12/2020 10:19

Unless we had had a conversation about our mental health I would be very wary of a colleague who bought me that, or any other similar, self-help book. Definitely overstepping the mark.

Something like the Tube station message book would be likely to be much better received and not offend.

MissOrganisedMe · 23/12/2020 10:27

@pleasantville not young or forrin 😂 I've never had one specifically for books. Gift vouchers, yes but never book vouchers. Uncultured 😉

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TigsytheTiger · 23/12/2020 18:32

Definitely a book token, I don't think a book trying to address mental health issues should ever be given unsolicited by a colleague. I would be very Hmm

PerhapsOverlyWorried · 23/12/2020 18:42

I’d be extremely upset to receive a self help book as a present from friends or family. It makes the assumption that I’m having issues in my life that I’m both unable to cope with and not doing anything to deal with my problems. Would be outright offended to receive one from a colleague.

Agree with everyone else, book tokens are the way forward! However, you might want to consider that your colleagues might be equally Hmm about book tokens as not everyone reads for pleasure!

This is why I hate Christmas, the amount of stress and mental energy that has to go into thinking about everyone around you is exhausting. It’s no longer enough to give a card with some genuinely heartfelt words in it Xmas Sad

Crinkle77 · 23/12/2020 22:29

Sorry but I wouldn't want a self hep book for Christmas.

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