What to send friend in NICU

[FreeBettyBoop]

My friend had her baby a few days ago. She went into premature labour and the baby has been born at 27 weeks. So far things seem to be going ok but her spirits are low and she’s fed up and lonely.

I can’t go and see her. I really want to put a little box together for her. Her mum might be able to see her at some point. I was looking for some ideas of what to put in the box.

So far I have - chocolate, adult colouring book and pencils, book, some magazines.

Any other suggestions would be grand. She seems awful lost.

A fuzzy throw or blanket, hospitals can be very chilly. Something that is easy to wash.
Chewing gum, lavender scented face wipes, an audible gift card

Do you know what coffee shops/shops the hospital has?

If Costa/M&S, I would send gift cards.

COOK voucher or cook and freeze some meals. So she does not need tow worry about shopping.

Maybe a reusable coffee cup with a lid? Some children's wards/NICU won't let you have drinks at bedside without a lid on.

These are brilliant. I foresee a trip to Home Bargains on the horizon

Was she able to pack? We were stuck there without pants or pjs or anything

I think I sent e45 handcream to a friend in the same position, as she was washing her hands lots and got chapped hands.
Savoury snacks, beef jerky, nuts or similar?

Nice hand cream. She’ll be doing a lot of hand washing. NICU’s tend to be very warm so maybe a nice water bottle? Maybe a nice tote bag that she can use to take little things in with her? Space is always at a premium too

I think she’s ok in terms of underwear etc. They let her mum bring her some stuff on the first day. I’m not clear on exactly what she’s allowed in terms of visitors etc but I assume not much at all. She has no partner. I feel like she must be climbing the walls in there.

You've had some great suggestions here, I don't have any others, just wanted to say that you sound like a very considerate friend.

Thanks. She’s a good friend. I just feel like I need to do something.

Food, I was starving and struggled to get to the canteen/ shop

Is she able to stay in the hospital and does she have access to a microwave? I spent an extended time in hospital earlier this year with my child, and really appreciated having some nice food there, the canteen was usually a bit rubbish, and I wasn't really able to leave the ward too much as I never knew when the doctors etc would be around and would want to talk to me.

M&S do some lovely microwaveable pots which don't need to be stored in the fridge, great for lunch or dinner. Tea, coffee, a nice mug, lots of biscuits, nice fruit. It's one less thing for her to think about if you make her up a nice hamper.

Definitely hand cream. Possibly a cotton washable blanket for her to put over the incubator to protect her baby from the bright lights. We had a couple that we also used as a swaddle blanket when they were allowed out for cuddles and just generally hanging onto when things were tough. Felt like we could personalise a bit.

Perhaps ask about nappies - we had to use size zero which were still too big but hard to get hold of. I didn't have any energy or brain power apart from dealing with the immediate issues so food would also be helpful. snackable type stuff for on the go and frozen ready meals if she is back home.

But please don't put sweetcorn in fish pie. it doesn't live in there and 11 years later DH and I still joke about the sweetcorn my mum randomly put in the fish pie she made for us.

Also I had to leave hospital after 2 nights but DS had to stay in. We were lucky that we lived within sight of the hospital but if she is further away then lifts to and from the hospital might be helpful until she can drive/if she doesn't drive. really depends what the situation is and no clue on the impact of COVID on that.

Also it is incredibly boring - don't get me wrong horrendously worrying and stressful but really boring. You are essentially waiting until they are well enough to come home. There is little you can do. I had a notebook where I wrote everything down about DS's care which was invaluable to refer to as we were in longer than expected so I could refer back to details and have informed discussions with the Drs. It just helped to have something to do as well.

It is incredibly frightening - will be thinking of your friend

A notebook. I am not a journal writer at all but found it really therapeutic to write down the good and the bad of each day when my prem twins were born. It is something I cherish now as you forget so much when you leave. My twins love hearing about those early days too

Hand cream: my hands got into an awful state with all the washing when my baby was in SCBU and that was before covid. One of my friends sent me something similar to what you’re sending and it was so lovely; even 3 years on I remember how lovely it was to receive.

A portable phone charger

There are some good ideas on a recent thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/premature_birth/4101522-ideas-for-a-gift-for-a-premature-baby

Lovely ideas. When our dd1 was in nicu for 4 months, the best gifts we had were food. 1 friend raided m&s and brought it all in a cool bag, another sent a load of Cook meals to our house. Is she at home or staying in hospital accommodation?

I'd avoid vouchers for hospital shops unless you are 100% certain those particular outlets will accept them. We were inundated with Costa gift cards that we couldn't use because the outlet didn't accept them.