"Not doing Xmas presents this year"

[Bigbird007]

AIBU? I am really angry with my Parents. At the start of November they said "We're not doing Christmas presents for adults this year and dont want anything back. We will all just buy for kids" which works for me. They have reiterated this all of December and have just turned up with lots of presents. I feel it is so inconsiderate, as it puts us in a very uncomfortable position that we have nothing for them. The parents are very controlling in general and I can't shake the feeling that this is another power play. "We gave loads of presents and got none back" to friends and family etc.

My grandmother used to do this. Look at it rationally - you did nothing wrong, just stuck to what was agreed on. They are trying to make you feel bad - as you say it’s a control thing. So take back the control and accept their gifts and make no mention of the fact that you haven’t got any for them. If nothing else it will annoy them. It’s almost a form of bullying and the best way to deal with a bully is to smile and ignore.

I suppose that, if next year they think 'Bigbird didn't get us anything last year, so we won't get anything for her from now on' then hopefully the cycle will be broken and you can step off the merry go round of exchanging presents that no-one really wants.

If they go round badmouthing you, just ignore and if anyone says anything, just comment about them breaking the agreement to not buy presents.

Yes annoying.
My husband did this one year and it really annoyed me. I was even very explicit before that if he bought me presents after we agreed not to I would be annoyed.

If I were you I’d just say something along the lines of “oh how odd. Why did you repeatedly tell us you didn’t want to do gifts if you HAD bought adult presents” (puzzled expression ).

Either way don’t let them use it to control you. If they comment on it, even passively aggressively, just deal with it directly. “You told us you didn’t want to do adult gifts. You told us that several times. Yet now you seem upset we haven’t bought you gifts”?

Refuse to accept the presents.

Amazon Prime the shit out of it. Or send them an online voucher.

Buy them something from

choose.love/

You can purchase a gift of your choice on their behalf for a refugee.