How have you Ruined Christmas in years gone by?

[TheQueef]

I don't mean the Christmas day super hangover, we've all done that.
Have you ever made such a bollocks of it that it's spoken about in hushed tones?

Mine was a fairly tame temper tantrum at Dbro who left his wife and three kids the week before Christmas.
I was banging the shopping away and lambasting him for being such a huge prick.
Took the wrapping off the frozen turkey so it'd fit the freezer.
Christmas eve got the turkey out to defrost.....of course I'd thrown it away and saved the wrapper
No one was allowed to mention it.

Anyone else?

Didn’t buy my Boyfriend (now DH somehow) an Xbox
I told him I wasn’t buying him one, didn’t buy one, repeatedly told him I hadn’t. BUT he decided I was bluffing so when he opened it (in front of my family) he just looked at the present and said “it’s not an Xbox”. Then he decided I was joking so kept asking where his “real” present was. To be fair I had gone out of my way to get him something that I thought he would like but with hindsight was a bit shit. After a while I just burst into tears, which made my Mum really cross with him so he got a bollocking and it was all a bit awkward.
Boxing Day we went to his family, both his Mum and his Sister had bought him games for the new Xbox he had told them I was buying him and it all kicked off again
Next day we went and bought an Xbox
He’s actually really lovely, although he can be honest to the point of rudeness sometimes, but he was totally convinced I had bought him an Xbox!

I once thought Dh had bought me a Porsche Boxster.

Ruined the 'family member coming home for Christmas for the first time in 30 years surprise' by accident, 2 days before Christmas, at the then-PILs. Oops.

Not me but DH. His sister had ordered one of those Prints which have everyone’s name and love home etc in a shape. Not my taste but I was polite. Then she gave BIL and SIL a similar present but had spelt SIL’s name wrong. Twice. In two different ways. DH couldn’t stop laughing despite being scolded by his parents and had to go lay on the bed to calm down. Only we could still hear him laughing. Was so embarrassing.

Oh God how could I forget?! It wasn’t Christmas Day but a Christmas drinks party I ruined once. Met DHs best friend for first time and in the course of conversation realised he must work with someone I knew ( let’s call her Mary ) Was merrily chatting away about Mary to him and his girlfriend about how lovely Mary was .Thought things had gone a bit awkward and then DH pulled me away with some flimsy excuse only to tell me that his best mate had cheated on his girlfriend with Mary...

DH couldn’t stop laughing despite being scolded by his parents and had to go lay on the bed to calm down. Only we could still hear him laughing

I’m laughing at this!

About 13 yrs ago, when our kid was 3 my H decided to help. Traditionally in my parent's household xmas is a stressful, everything must be perfect but never is type of holiday. Always hated it, but it kind of stuck with me. So first year that we had xmas at our place and I wanted to make it perfect. The decor was actually quite nice, food was prepped. Stress levels were not off the charts, but high. And as a final step before actually eating dinner there were 2 tasks:
a) get the duck breasts out of the oven
b) take the 10l (? let's stick with huge) soup bowl to the table.

Imagine open plan kitchen with real parquet in the living room.

I grabbed the soup bowl, H took out the duck breasts. He burnt his hands (not wearing gloves but using dishcloths, albeit I said use the first one). Tipped over the whole tray. All duck breasts landed on the floor, fat oozed into the living room. And I got so startled that as I was turning I forgot about the soup bowl in my hand, and added a lot of chicken broth to the mess and onto H's head. Obviously it was scalding hot.

And our lovely 3 year old wanted to help so jetted off to the portion of the living room where the bubbling hot duck fat was still oozing deeper and deeper towards the sofa. My mum caught him by the top part of the dungarees and he was dangling in her hand like a kitten :) and screaming like a banshee ....

My dad flipped - he doesn't do well with stress, I am hysterically laughing whilst trying to usher H into bathroom without making too much off a mess so he can wash up.

You know when everyone tries to help and things get worse by the second? Yup, that happened. Within 5 minutes I asked my parents to take a hike and take kid with them. H was scrubbing away in the bathroom swearing like a fisherman. And i just stood there contemplating jumping out the window.

To top things off few hours later, mess and H cleaned up, parents and kid back we finally sat down to dinner to the salvaged parts. And the one and only earthquake in 3 decades hit and the rest of the soup landed on the floor. It wasn't even a big earthquake, but the bowl was in a stupid position.

Upside: since than I don't give a crap about perfect xmas.

And our goto meal for xmas is still duck breasts, but I don't let H handle it :)

Not ruined it as such, but one year I went down with the flu on Christmas Eve and was flat out in bed with it until the 2nd January.

@Fluffycloudland77 what has he bought you instead?

I'm thoroughly enjoying this thread, some of these are hilarious

The Merry Militia Christmas is fucking gold

2001 xmas. I was 8 weeks pregnant and came down with a kidney infection and the flu..at the time.
Spent xmas day, boxing day and until new year in bed.

@plominoagain

Well there was the Christmas I took the turkey out of the oven , turned round and fell over the dog , who had this habit of laying down behind anyone who opened an oven door . The turkey got catapulted down the kitchen floor and aided by the basting juices and sage leaves , slid the length of the hallway , whilst being pursued by said Dalmatian , with enthusiastic but clueless greyhound cheerleading alongside . Whereupon DH threw himself into the melee , rugby tackled the fugitive bird away from the spotty jaws , crying “ I didn’t spend £35 on a turkey to feed the fucking dog “ and we rinsed it under the tap before putting it back in the oven for a quick blast to be on the safe side .

MIL fortunately was too pissed to notice !

This would make an excellent scene in an early 90s Christmas comedy film. Everything about it is perfect for that.

When I was about three I developed a nasty cough on Christmas Eve. The GP suggested my parents boil kettles in my room as steam was good for this (in 1970). Sadly long strips of wallpaper stared to fall off the walls.

I went into labour on Christmas Eve during a Christmas carol service. We were right near the front so felt too embarrassed to leave - so just tried not to make much noise and hoped my waters did break every time we were asked to stand up.

Spent the whole of Christmas on the sofa on all fours in pain - think we had dinner at 9pm in the end.

Day ended with my waters breaking- Hollywood style - with an audible pop and a huge gush on to DH's leg.

Drove 400 miles to a Scotland. Forgot the presents (well DH did). Wrapped and in bags by the side of the bed and he didn’t put them in the car. Didn’t realise till late Xmas eve either - God bless Scottish supermarket opening hours.

Not exactly my fault but still feel bad. First term at university, seen v little of my family so Christmas was a really big thing. Little did they know that anorexia struck hard that term and I arrived home for Christmas skeletal and totally terrified of food. My biggest fear was food I had not prepared myself. Christmas dinner was horrific, I sat at the table everyone else in my their sparkly sequinned number, me dressed like I was on an arctic expedition. My mum had gone to town on the lunch, I sat there sobbing into my plate with a piece of steamed broccoli and steamed carrot because I daren’t eat anything else. Not only that but I was scared to enter the kitchen because I was convinced I would inhale the calories from the cooking roast potatoes or pigs in blankets. Sad times.
My family tried to carry on as usual but it was very obvious the worry about me had zapped every last ounce of Christmas spirit.

I had a terrible flu in 2017 and spent Christmas lying in bed hallucinating with delirium. I had Christmas dinner 2 weeks later 😂

I nearly ruined DD’s Christmas when she was 3. All the hype about Father Christmas leaving the stocking at the bottom of the bed. She still woke up in the night so my plan was to put it in her room as late as possible. Of course I fell asleep without moving the stocking.

Dd woke us up Christmas morning, crying her eyes out as she hadn’t been left a stocking. I had to quickly calm her by saying silly Santa had left it in mummy and daddies room so he didn’t wake her up!

Apparently I ruined Christmas for my sister in law ... mother in law had severe dementia but still wanted to send Christmas cards to family. Ok, but she struggled to hold a pen, let alone write. So, we choose cards to buy together and mother in law choose which ones to individually send. We did this over several weeks as we had 70 to do and she tired easily and was unwell with dementia.
However, sister in laws card was signed with ‘love from and mother in laws name’ not ‘love from mum’.
Caused the biggest tirade of abuse and meltdown from a 60 year old child I have ever heard. Christmas ruined forever by a single word...

DS home from Uni at the weekend. He has already worked his way though 12 mince pies and a huge chocolate log!

I had a meltdown during a game of who wants to be a millionaire. I was always the butt of jokes and had had enough and blew my lid. If I ever stuck up for myself I was told off for being miserable. I was told I had ruined Christmas blah blah blah - my sister ended up getting arrested later that evening but it was my meltdown that spoilt the day!

@SeptSpiral think I got designer pyjamas, white company dressing grown and underwear. He banged on and on about this Porsche for weeks so it wasn’t out of the question that he’d buy it.

Previous Christmas sets had been diamond earrings, diamond pendant, diamond bangle. All half carat and in proper gold so the poor bastard had shot his wad early on.

This year he’s been made redundant so no presents for anyone.

Last year I ended up in hospital with flu and pneumonia. Worst Christmas! I’m one day away from finishing antibiotics for awful Tonsillitis and quinsy this year. I’m glad it was last week and not this.

I ruined my mum's many years ago by subjecting her to a 12 hour labour. My elder sister was also annoyed as she had hoped for a new bike that year not an annoying baby sister.

When I was 18 I had a VERY new boyfriend. Went to his dad's house on Christmas Day night. Got back to find his mum (we'd never met) had gone out and he didn't have a key. We both had to climb in through the window.

His (alcoholic) heavily inebriated mum returned about 20 mins later, screaming at us to let her in but we couldn't as we still didn't have a key. She came in and threw a microwave at him cutting his hand to ribbons. The neighbours called the police who helpfully gave us a lift to hospital and I had to be collected by my absolutely raging dad in his dressing gown and slippers. Merry Christmas!