Please help me to relax at Christmas

[Thedogshow]

Help! I’m sure loads of people feel the same, but Christmas just feels like a giant to do list. Both DH and I are busy at work. He pulls his weight all year with kids & home but I do the whole of Christmas, which is sort of the best way as I am working part time and he is working very, very long hours at this time of year and really can’t do much to help.

We have large extended family on both sides, with a lot of young children to buy for, and three children of our own.

My main issue is actually that I do too much and try to make every single thing perfect- the house, each person’s present, this year the food (were meant to be going to SIL’s but all plans changed now as it was overnight for a few days). I feel so tense about it all. It makes me snappy with the kids. They make constant mess during the school holidays and fight a lot so rather than a lovely, joyful Christmas house it just feels like chaos and so.much.to.do.

I know that actually I just need to chill out and stop being uptight, try & enjoy the chaos and spend time being excited with the kids not trying to make it all look perfect. It doesn’t matter if the meal isn’t perfect or we haven’t got every single thing I had meant to get.

Has anyone managed to find a way to actually relax and enjoy this time of year if you’re a mum of young kids & work?!

It's well worth looking up Marian Keyes on you tube - she's done a video talking about this.

I watched it earlier and it makes so much sense. Nobody will appreciate you stressing yourself out so much it become fun for nobody. We all impose a ridiculous amount of pressure on ourselves.

Nobody will care about the house being immaculate, especially if you aren't even having visitors. There is zero point trying to keep it all perfect when you have young children at home playing.

What matters is good (not perfect) food, fun and excitement. Who is the perfection actually for? I'm betting it's just to match up to an unnecessary perfect standard in your head, not to please anyone else.

What actually needs doing at Christmas? Really?

Cards? Do a few at a time and only to the people you know will appreciate it.

Presents? Buy only for those closest to you. We only buy for our own dc, a small thing for each other and I get something for my mam.

Trim up the house? Don't bother with all the stuff outside and just put a tree up in the front room. Get the kids and dh to help. Does it matter if it looks a bit wonky? No, does it heck!

Xmas dinner? It's just a Sunday roast. Treat it like such and don't worry if you've forgotten some sprouts or whatever. Who is going to notice or care? Get your dh to do some of it too since he'll be eating it as well. Get a big chocolate cake or something for after and it'll make up for a slightly underwhelming main meal.

It's just one day. It really doesn't have to be perfect.

I go for the ' lived in' look ( yes you might find socks under sofa). Please keep me company, so I dont strive for perfection cause, I cant do it all, cooking cleaning, flaming laundry, and get exercise and look good and work and ... ahhh !! lived in without bugville is the aim..