Ideas to cheer my mum up on Xmas day?

[shoesaregood]

We are in tier 4. My dm and mil are also tier 4 (both live alone). Lovely mil lives very nearby, so she we have formed a support bubble with her. The new rules mean that mil can come to us for Xmas day, but my dm can’t (they were both coming to us, all three households isolating since Thursday) 😫

My dm will now be alone on Xmas day as she has no one to form a support bubble with. She’s very stoic and sensible, but still sad, as are we. The thought of her being all alone on the day breaks my heart a little bit.

She doesn’t want to FaceTime on the day as she thinks it will just end with everyone being a bit upset (probably fair). So I’m wondering if anyone has any ideas on ways I can cheer her up on the day.....a lovely hamper perhaps? Or an activity to keep her occupied? I was considering driving to her and waving from outside, but it’s over an hour’s drive away and I expect it’s classed as an unnecessary journey.

How about sending her some ecards at intervals through the day? Or send 6 or 8 different ones on Christmas eve with an email asking her to open one every 2 hours through Christmas day. Some of them even have games attached.

Honestly if shes happy with the risk and you're all isolating have her over.

Agree letters would be lovely as would a hamper. Maybe get some nice DVDs for her- box set of the BBC Pride & Prejudice (if that floats her boat) or something else she can dip in and out of. Not sure how much time is left to post things where you are?

Are you really going to let your dm spend it alone? If you're all isolating anyway, have her over. The risk will surely be very very low. I understand the rules and why we need them but I also think common sense should be used in certain circumstances.

I would let my mum be on her own on Christmas Day if I was seeing MIL

It just seems so unfair on her
Either see both or none at all

It's a shame that you haven't self isolated for the full 10/14 days. If you had, you might be breaking the rules technically but if there is no chance of passing on the virus, you wouldn't be morally doing anything wrong if you all got together for the sake of your DM's mental health.

One member of your household would be allowed to meet up wth your DM for a walk. Perhaps you could both bring a flask of mulled wine?

We're sending DM a restaurant prepared Christmas dinner and eating together via FaceTime. I've also sent a personalised cracker. We've also sent a bottle of sherry, pastries and stocking to open and have a drink and breakfast first thing, then canapes and champagne sent for lunch all via FaceTime. Then we are doing gifts after lunch. We are also going to play games via FaceTime after dinner.

I know you've said your DM doesn't want to Facetime but maybe she might want to reconsider if there is a schedule and it is all day activities rather than just a quick call? Or you could send everything she needs for the day eg all the food for the day, maybe homemade cookies, cake or other treats, a stocking (even if you don't normally do adult stockings), her gifts, a pampering kit for relaxing in the morning, crackers, a Christmas candle, something to do eg a craft kit or DVD (if she still has a DVD player).

It’s so difficult, I really don’t want her to be alone. And I agree that the risk is minimal. But dm is very clear that the rules need to be adhered to. She’s also concerned that we might ‘get reported’, which seems unlikely, but I suppose you never know.

Pride and Prejudice box set is a lovely idea. And I think I can get champagne to her through majestic wine. The lack of notice is what makes this so hard - with more time we could have made a decent plan and sent lovely things to keep her busy.

Is she religious? There’ll be lots of online and probably in person Christmas celebrations.

I’m dropping a hamper of fancy food off at my grandparents on Christmas Eve. They love going on cruises and the food they get on there so I’ve made up a hamper with lots of foodie treats in that they’d never normally buy themselves.

Going for a walk also sounds like a nice idea, I get that the drive is far but I’m sure she’d appreciate it.

If she has Netflix, Bridgerton will be on on Christmas Day and looks good. You could maybe time it so you’re watching it “together” & start it at the same time.

The hamper is a really good idea too, you could drop it off on Christmas Eve with a little stocking.

@onedropbeat thankfully my dm is very reasonable and doesn’t see a reason for mil to be miserable as well. Tbh, I have wondered about mil and dm spending the day together (they get on brilliantly) without me and DH, that way no one is alone, we’re all obeying the rules and I could drop food off to them at mil’s.

Orangenasturtium, your plan sounds brilliant! I’m going to see what I can get to her and copy as much as I can.

M and MIL having Christmas Day together is a brilliant idea - much better than your mum having to be alone.

If you can't take things to her @shoesaregood, I managed to get a next day delivery courier pick up on 23 December for under £20. Sainsbury's have released more online shopping slots today and Ocado have had some become available, Iceland always seems to have slots, if you want to send food. Deliveroo, Uber Eats and Amazon Fresh are worth looking at too.

Actually, your DM and MIL getting together and joining you by FaceTime for meals, gifts and games could be a great plan!

Personally, I would invite her if you aren’t worried about being a covid risk to each other.

This is so sad.
They should never have said we could have these (potentially) big Christmas bubbles. The priority should have been making sure that no one (who didn’t want to be) was alone on Christmas Day.

Thank you all for helping me organise my slightly panicked thoughts.

I’ll suggest that mil and dm spend the day together at mil’s with food cooked here and delivered to them. If dm is still convinced that she’ll be ‘reported’ for travelling and arrested by Boris, I have some brilliant options to explore from you @orangenasturtium - thank you so much.

’ll suggest that mil and dm spend the day together at mil’s with food cooked here and delivered to them.

A lovely perfect solution 🥰