Many years ago I had a passive aggressive relationship with someone at work.
When I began in the organization I was junior to her so I accepted her instructions without question. I organized a night out for my birthday and passing my first professional exam. Evesryone in the office was invited, including my workmate.
A few years later when I was qualified she gave a flatwarming party to which every one in the department but me were invited. We had not argued or had any differences but i knew she resented the way I had worked to progress. She had never bothered to take her exams. She even invited people within my earshot.
I turned up on her door step with two workmates and a bottle of wine, making it impossible for her to say anything. She walked around all evening with a face like a mask. I even proposed a toast to her! I know I blighted her evening by turning up.
I had my little speech ready if she challenged me, saying - oh it must be a misunderstanding because I thought it was a general invitation. You see i would never be rude enough to leave one person out. Thats not what we do where I come from.
But nothing was said.
A few weeks later when I was being moved to another department I decided to have a night out. I wanted to make a point of inviting her so I did it when she was standing with a group of others. We were meeting in a pub and then going on to a club. I told them "If you dont fancy the club just join us for a few drinks. Everyone is welcome. I organized it that way so no one would feel left out."
She turned on her heel and walked off. She did not come to the night out and was the only one. Everyone else, including the dragon lady who ran the department, came for at least a few drinks.
Find a way to rub it in.