How to let friend down easy

[Hohoho21]

Hi, exactly that really.
My friend has recently got in contact with me & wants to meet up & and meet my dc, who is 1, after we lost touch 3 years ago.
Last I heard she was smoking heroin.
I don't know how bad her addiction got as after a while we lost touch, as I moved to a new town & started a new job, had my DC.
Now she's messaged me out of the blue, saying how much she's missed me & would love to meet up & meet DC, when we can.
I don't know how to respond & let her down gently as I don't want to meet up with her. Advice would be greatly appreciated 😊 Merry Christmas everyone 😁

Just say you’re not meeting anyone atm because of Covid, hope she’s well and happy Christmas

Say, yes I’d love that it’s been ages. We need to get something sorted.

How are you, what’s been happening in your life?

And then find out what’s going on with her. Meet her the first time child free, find a convenient excuse. She may be clean.

Why don’t you want to meet her?

If I say that, it makes it sound like I want to meet at some future date & I don't want to meet up with her at all.
Plus we're in tier one!

@Bluntness100 I don't want to meet her, that's the point, I obviously don't want to be mean with her, I want to let her down gently.
@twinspeakdancingman I don't want to meet with her, because when I last heard from her she was using heroin

Even in Tier 1 you could use the excuse of shielding from COVID because Someone in your family is vulnerable. She doesn't need details and it could buy you some time over Christmas to keep your distance.

It's not great advice but you could always just not respond to her. It's not like you'll bump into her if you've moved away, and it's not actually ghosting because you don't currently have a friendship atm. In this instance I think I'd prefer no reply to being told the truth.

Or maybe something wishy washy about how your paths have taken different directions but you wish her well.

If you're unlikely to bump into her I'd just completely ignore.
Mutual friends? Just don't mention you've heard from her and are unsure about replying. They're likely to feed back to her.
Feel you must reply? Then I'd reply that you hope she is well and to have a lovely Christmas but circumstances mean you're unlikely to be able to meet up for the foreseeable.

It would be nice to think that she’s managed to get off it and is trying to rebuild friendships with people she knows won’t be trying to tempt her back into that lifestyle.

I think I’d try and be kind. Say you’re really pleased to hear from her, you’d heard she was going through a difficult time a few years ago and you hope things are getting better for her. Tell her you’re not planning on meeting anyone for the foreseeable, for obvious reasons, but at some vague point in the future, that would be lovely.

She doesn’t need to know that you’ve got no intention of seeing her. And when things get better and we’re able to meet up with friends, tell her that you’ve got an awful lot on your plate and struggle to find the time.