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Original poster

DH starting antidepressants - what to expect

23 replies

Lovingmylife · 19/12/2020 13:35

My DH has been struggling for a long time with depression..in February I got him to the Dr who said he had bad depression and to try talking therapies. He did give it a go but hates talking and the sessions didn't benefit him. I finally persuaded him he has to try something as he hadn't been helping himself and it's having a huge impact on all of us including DC. He called the GP and has been described antidepressants called sertraline. Can anyone advise me what to expect and how I can best help him?

OP posts:

IEat · 19/12/2020 17:12

It may take a week or so for him to feel the fog lift but it will. What I found was that they helped me to see clearly so I could start to manage the issues I had.
They didn't solve the issues, I still had to do that myself.

I slept better so I thought better.

IEat · 19/12/2020 17:16

I took tablets and then had talking therapy, that may help that way round. Sometimes you need to speak to someone who doesn't know you so you can be open about everything and not worry about hurting the person.. It was easy to hide my true feelings from my family because I didn't want them to know what was really going on and what I was actually doing. It doesn't mean I didn't love them I just needed help from someone else. It was hard for them but I had to and wanted to speak to someone who didn't know me.

Original poster

Lovingmylife · 19/12/2020 17:16

Thank you. I think he is feeling down about getting the prescription. So he might feel a bit brain foggy from the meds do you mean?

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LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone · 19/12/2020 17:22

Hi, I was prescribed 50mg Sertraline recently. I had no side effects whatsoever, but they didn't seem to help my situation. My GP put them up to 100mg and I noticed the difference within the day. I feel more rational, less hysterical, more me. And much more clear headed. Everyone is different of course, but I feel so much better.
The first time I was prescribed anti-depressants I felt like I was a complete failure for needing them, however the doctor explained that I was lacking a chemical and just needed it putting back, made me feel a lot better.

Respectabitch · 19/12/2020 17:23

He might sleep more, or less. Have an upset tummy. Be irritatable or a bit brainfogged. They made me sleepy so I took them at night. These side effects will generally settle within a few week. They also often inhibit orgasm or reduce sex drive.

Don't expect to see any significant effects on his mood for several weeks. It takes time. What I've generally found they do is make mood much more even - you don't get very happy, but the lows are much less low and you're more able to find resources to address the issues in your life. Good luck.

MythicalBiologicalFennel · 19/12/2020 17:23

I take them for anxiety. They do work but I got a lot of physical side effects:

1st day: nausea and vomiting - it was like having hypermesis all over again, getting up in the night to throw up, etc
1st week after: just nausea, improving every day
2nd and 3rd week: complete loss of appetite. Lack of sleep. From some reason I didn't suffer as a result of barely eating or sleeping but it was a bizarre existence.
4th week: appetite returns.
A year on I have some twitching, an occasional sore throat and night sweats (but that could be perimenopause).

The improvement to my anxiety was gradual and I would say it started after the first week.

Talking therapy has never helped me - The Feeling Good Book by Dr something did. Good luck to you and your DH

BiscuitsUnited · 19/12/2020 17:24

DP took sertraline and felt even worse for the first few weeks- had quite a few side effects and he wanted to stop taking them. BUT he persevered and they did make him feel so much better, got him through a bad patch then he gradually cut down his dose and hasn't taken them for a year as he feels fine.

The Dr told him it's v common for middle aged men to need ADs as there's some chemical or hormonal changes that go on at that time of life that can affect mood. DP liked hearing that as it made him realise it wasn't his fault or that he was 'weak' to be feeling down. The Dr was on the same ADs!

BiscuitsUnited · 19/12/2020 17:25

Oh and like pps they had to twiddle with his dose a bit to get it right!

fromthesamecloth · 19/12/2020 17:25

DP has been on sertraline for three weeks now. I know they say it can take 6+ weeks to notice a difference but I have already noticed a monumental change. Like @IEat and @LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone have said, his head is so much clearer. Things which would have sent him spiralling into the abyss still knock him but he is able to talk himself down and calm down far easier

EssexGurl · 19/12/2020 17:27

I had Sertraline in the summer but that made me feel worse. Started taking Citalopram recently. Mood gradually improving but more physical side effects - nausea, sleeplessness, loss of appetite. Like the description of “brain fog” as that sums up how I felt with the Sertraline, that didn’t lift but it has with the Citalopram.

So I would say, don’t expect a miracle quickly. If it doesn’t work, go back to the Gp to review. I wish I had made the switch to Citalopram sooner. Starting counselling on Monday - but I’m like your husband, not good at talking about it so I’m hoping the ADs fully kick in soon.

Respectabitch · 19/12/2020 17:29

Yes, and while you should give the side effects a few weeks to settle, don't be afraid to go back for review if things don't improve after that. Different meds work differently on different people. Fluoxetine had untenable side effects for me. Venlafaxine worked well but the withdrawal was positively hellish. Citalopram was well tolerated.

ValancyRedfern · 19/12/2020 17:36

Tell him to make sure he always takes it with or after food, I remember the worst heartburn when I didn't. It was like acid eating away my insides. Hopefully they work for him. I found citalopram much better for me (been on it 12 years now and no plans to ever come off), but different people find different pills work for them.

dubyalass · 19/12/2020 17:37

DP liked hearing that as it made him realise it wasn't his fault or that he was 'weak' to be feeling down.

Bless him. Glad to hear he's feeling better. A family member has just started on sertraline and the difference is noticeable, even after a few weeks. He too thought going on them was a sign of weakness but when things got really bad he realised he needed to give them a go.

dubyalass · 19/12/2020 17:39

My dad is on mirtazapine, has been for years and probably will be for the rest of his days. I do wonder if there is a genetic predisposition to clinical depression on that side of the family (history of mental health issues and suicide going back generations).

Babyroobs · 19/12/2020 18:03

I had a terrible two weeks when starting sertraline - anxiety off the scale and not sleeping etc, weird thoughts and weird feeling in my head. But then things did get a lot better and the depression became manageable. It takes a while to stabilise on it.

Original poster

Lovingmylife · 19/12/2020 20:33

Thank you everyone. Those comments are so helpful and let me know what's normal so I don't worry too much and can support him. It's a tough time 😔

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KnitsAndGiggles · 19/12/2020 20:38

I had loads of side effects - poor sleep, headaches, clenched jaw, nausea, depression worsening. Apparently the mors you get the more effective they'll be! Get him to take them in the morning to minimise any issues with sleep. He does need to stick it out - ge may get worse before he gets better

Ormally · 19/12/2020 21:09

There may be some sexual side effects, if not straight away, once they have built up (which is something of a euphemism for the sexual side effects!)

Quite strange to experience, not horrible (well, speaking as someone then in late 30s), but really weird.

Original poster

Lovingmylife · 20/12/2020 12:47

It's just heartbreaking hearing him say he feels broken and the fact he doesn't want to be around the kids 😭

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thevassal · 20/12/2020 13:42

I had horrific side effects with both sertraline and fluoxidine and had to come off both after just a few days - am impressed at all the people saying they just struggled through them and came out the other side. I wish I could have but was honestly just so ill - I got a covid test for sertraline as I felt more ill than I've ever been in my life.
I couldn't work, or do anything other than lie still (couldn't sleep, eyesight was too blurry to watch tv,). Couldn't even keep down a cup of tea. I wouldn't have been safe to drive, etc. Wondering now if I had particularly strong side effects or am just a wimp if so many others managed to struggle through them!

I think it's good to bear in mind that his moods might go down before they stabilise/go up because that might be something that might tempt him to stop before they've had a chance to kick in.

Respectabitch · 20/12/2020 14:07

@thevassal

I had horrific side effects with both sertraline and fluoxidine and had to come off both after just a few days - am impressed at all the people saying they just struggled through them and came out the other side. I wish I could have but was honestly just so ill - I got a covid test for sertraline as I felt more ill than I've ever been in my life. I couldn't work, or do anything other than lie still (couldn't sleep, eyesight was too blurry to watch tv,). Couldn't even keep down a cup of tea. I wouldn't have been safe to drive, etc. Wondering now if I had particularly strong side effects or am just a wimp if so many others managed to struggle through them!

I think it's good to bear in mind that his moods might go down before they stabilise/go up because that might be something that might tempt him to stop before they've had a chance to kick in.

Don't compare yourself. Everyone reacts to/tolerates them differently. If the SEs were intolerable for you, they were intolerable - and they sound pretty intolerable. It's not about weakness or strength. Everybody's body and brain chemistry is different.

Fluoxetine was intolerable for me because I stopped sleeping almost completely. I lasted a month and then more or less had a breakdown at the GP. She changed it. That doesn't make me weak compared to someone who got on fine with it. It was just my reaction.

Babyroobs · 20/12/2020 14:49

@thevassal

I had horrific side effects with both sertraline and fluoxidine and had to come off both after just a few days - am impressed at all the people saying they just struggled through them and came out the other side. I wish I could have but was honestly just so ill - I got a covid test for sertraline as I felt more ill than I've ever been in my life. I couldn't work, or do anything other than lie still (couldn't sleep, eyesight was too blurry to watch tv,). Couldn't even keep down a cup of tea. I wouldn't have been safe to drive, etc. Wondering now if I had particularly strong side effects or am just a wimp if so many others managed to struggle through them!

I think it's good to bear in mind that his moods might go down before they stabilise/go up because that might be something that might tempt him to stop before they've had a chance to kick in.

I took two weeks off sick from work when starting Sertraline. i would not have been able to work with the way I felt. I almost gave up after a few days as the anxiety was so bad. Gp never even warned me of side effects.

Original poster

Lovingmylife · 20/12/2020 16:22

DH is on annual leave now for two weeks so fingers crossed it isn't awful.

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