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Original poster

Worried about brother if they prevent travel

23 replies

Shadowboy · 19/12/2020 08:51

My younger brother lives about 2 hours away. He has depression and anxiety and is on medication for this. About 18 months ago was in hospital due to the anxiety (don’t want to explain all as it’s very personal) he is coming to us for the 5 days so he is not alone as he has no partner or close friends as he moved to this place for work fairly recently.

I’m worried they will issue last minute restrictions and then he won’t be allowed to travel. Him spending time alone over Christmas with severe depression really worries me.

I know there is nothing we can do if they do prevent travel and mixing but it is a worry and whilst he is fine enough to hold down a job well he is not good with change and solitude (lived with my parents until 2 years ago due to the anxiety)

It’s also too late to post presents or food to him

OP posts:

itchyfinger · 19/12/2020 08:54

Sorry to hear this op. Is he driving to you? I think in this instance he should still come and stay. There needs to be some common sense used rather than just blindly following the rules despite the impact it has on mental health.

Hazelnutlatteplease · 19/12/2020 08:54

Most restrictions have had a caveat for caring responsibilities where there is a recognised physical or mental health risk.

LividLover · 19/12/2020 08:55

Agree with others. This is a mental health exemption.

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Families

londongirl12 · 19/12/2020 08:56

If he's on his own, you're allowed to form a support bubble, so it's fine

Original poster

Shadowboy · 19/12/2020 08:57

@itchyfinger he’s coming by train as he can’t drive. So if they do restrict travel it will be harder for him to get here.

I could go and pick him up but it’s a 4 hour round trip each way. I will do it though if his anxiety kicks off.

OP posts:

DownWhichOfLate · 19/12/2020 08:57

“They” can’t stop all traffic! Get him to come regardless. It’d be worse for his health if he didn’t.

Original poster

Shadowboy · 19/12/2020 08:58

So that should say- 2 hours each way

OP posts:

DownWhichOfLate · 19/12/2020 08:58

Ah. Just read your update. Get him to come now? (If you can accommodate him for longer?)

Littlebelina · 19/12/2020 09:00

Can he come today? If he is a single person he can form a support bubble with you. Will stop you both worrying about it and travelling might be better today than in the 5 day window in any case.

user89 · 19/12/2020 09:16

[quote Shadowboy]@itchyfinger he’s coming by train as he can’t drive. So if they do restrict travel it will be harder for him to get here.

I could go and pick him up but it’s a 4 hour round trip each way. I will do it though if his anxiety kicks off.[/quote]
If it were my brother I would absolutely go and get him

Ukholidaysaregreat · 19/12/2020 09:22

Tell him to come up now. Or go and pick him up. I think you are right to not let him be on his own. 2020 has been a bad year for isolation and mental health.

Elouera · 19/12/2020 09:26

As others have said, he is single, AND has care needs, so can join your bubble.

Can you accomodate him longer than just 5 days? A 2hr drive isnt that bad if you head off early, collect him, have a cuppa/lunch, then drive home. Could you and DH both go and share the driving? I'd collect him over this weekend if it was me.

RosieLemonade · 19/12/2020 09:26

Whereabouts are you? The travel ban is only affecting some areas of the country.

JingleJohnsJulie · 19/12/2020 09:28

If he's not working next week I'd ask him to come now too.

Didicat · 19/12/2020 09:33

We are driving 2 hours there and back to do a mid journey swap with my parents and a walk in a forest for an hour and an outside cup of coffee....

I would say go get him, definitely on the grounds of care.

nosswith · 19/12/2020 10:31

If you have formed a support bubble, no issue at all. Just whether it is train or a car journey.

The concern I would have with train travel is cancellations. Covid 19 has unfortunately spread through the train depot in Plymouth and services have been reduced to Cornwall/Devon, and I noticed the train I may travel on this afternoon to meet a friend in a local park could be cancelled.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 19/12/2020 11:06

Yes I'd go and get him this weekend if you can, OP.

Original poster

Shadowboy · 19/12/2020 11:37

He’s working through to the 23rd so nothing can be done until then anyway.

So is it considered OK to support an adult who can effectively hold down a job? That’s where I was unsure?

OP posts:

Clymene · 19/12/2020 11:42

I would go and pick him up

viques · 19/12/2020 11:53

@Shadowboy

He’s working through to the 23rd so nothing can be done until then anyway.

So is it considered OK to support an adult who can effectively hold down a job? That’s where I was unsure?

Depression and MH issues come in all shapes and sizes. Churchill suffered from depression all his life but still managed to “hold down a job” ! If your brother needs support he needs support whether he is working or not .

JingleJohnsJulie · 19/12/2020 12:39

So is it considered OK to support an adult who can effectively hold down a job? That’s where I was unsure.

Absolutely. Sounds like he needs to be with you and that's perfectly acceptable within the rules.

Original poster

Shadowboy · 19/12/2020 18:38

I don’t know what to do now. My brother is in Wales- Wales is now in full lockdown will I get fined if I try to pick him up? I assume trains will be cancelled?

What if something happens to him? I hate 2020.

OP posts:

Chinainmyhandsoitis · 19/12/2020 18:51

Unfortunately there is a very real danger for some people this Christmas and if he was my brother I would go and get him or go and spend Christmas with him.

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