Alcohol Induced Dementia, Alcohol Related Brain Damage aged 47

[reducingfootprint]

My mum aged 47 has been diagnosed with the above, does anyone have any advice or tips or anything really, it all a shock at the moment

I'm so sorry, op. Is she still drinking? Does she have significant liver damage as well?

There's a lot of info here, but as you will see, if she continues to drink and not get extensive treatment, the prognosis is not good.

www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/alcohol-related-dementia#:~:text=Alcohol-related%20'dementia'%20is,much%20alcohol%20over%20many%20years.

@Aquamarine1029 @JazzyGeoff Yes still drinking, she tells me it is only 84 units weekly / 4 pints a day. She also smokes 20 a day, has a poor diet (as in she doesnt eat much and its all processed, she is a size 8/10) and doesnt lead a healthy lifestyle in general
Still works full time also

@Aquamarine1029 she has already said she will cut down on drinking "in the new year" so we are doubtful she will tbh

Yeah, she'll be thin cos alcoholics like this don't eat much. No appetite. They will become apathetic in other ways too and not clean or dress themselves much - that's probably one of the first signs you'll get that she's gone down a notch.

ARBD patients don't have empathy; the brain damage ate the bit of of the brain where it lives. This will cause you a world of pain.

OP, this is a disgusting disease for you and your family - DM won't know there's anything wrong with her. But it's hard to get carers for people who are so, er, challenging, and you can't do it yourself.

You'll expect to see DM's balance going, so she'll need a wheelchair, and her muscles will waste from inactivity and paralysis so she'll need moving equipment at home - hoists, etc. Some people don't get liver failure, but the dementia will keep destroying her brain and it will kill her if she doesn't stop drinking.

The good news is that at some point she'll forget she's an alcoholic and she might plateau at that stage, but she'll still need 24/7 care. Brains and limbs don't grow back.

Oh love. I'm so sorry to hear that.

I work with people with Korsakoff dementia (the dementia you get from alcoholism). It's what I've specialised in Youngest I've seen was 30. The poor diet exacerbates it. It's the lack of thiamine.

People always think of liver damage, but it's the damage to the brain. It's also known as "wet brain".

The people I worked with didn't stop drinking. They didn't start eating well. They ended up in residential care.

You can PM me if you like.

She needs to stop drinking. She needs to start eating a diet full of vegetables and protein. I know she won't and it's hard for all involved.

Again, I'm so sorry, op. I don't think the odds of your mother quitting drinking are good at all. I suggest you start having some very serious discussions with your family about what will happen when she is no longer able to function and care for herself, because I highly doubt this is something you, or any other member of your family, will be able to cope with. I would also encourage your mother to get a will and POA done while she is still able.

@Supersimkin2 this was super hard to read, she didnt have empathy before this, was neglectful when we were kids, surprisingly she doesnt have liver damage - yet

@WankPuffins thank-you i may take you up on that offer! i've never seen her eat a vegetable before and her protein comes from bacon and sausages and steak so again not hopeful

@Aquamarine1029 ive two brothers who will bury their heads in the sand about this, we are all aged early to mid 20s so we are in termoil

Yes it ultimately ends in residential care.

Pros: you know they are safe and taken care of and are given good meals and Thiamine daily. Their lives become stable. The progression can stop though they can't regain what they've lost.

It's very sad for a young person. But it ends the chaos.

It usually follows a hospital admission after a sudden decline in cognitive function.

A few thoughts... in addition to stopping drinking, taking the meds & eating well (all of which are up to her to want to do)...

if she has capacity still (am guessing she does if she works) it may be a good time to discuss power of attorney and what she would want in terms of treatment if she became seriously unwell if you haven’t already/what her expectations or wishes are for how she is cared for when things deteriorate to the point that she can’t care for herself. Are there any safe-guarding issues relating to her work? If she drives (!) there needs to be a serious conversation about this +/- a call to the dvla. Most important thing of all though is you have to protect yourself - it’s flipping miserable and there’s really only so much you can do unless she’s motivated to stop drinking and improve the quality of her life.

@ElspethFlashman that is disheartening, she is now saying that "its not a diagnosis yet" despite me seeing the letter which states it is

@reducingfootprint anytime. I've worked in that area for years. It's always so hard for the relatives.

@Greybeardy she is a functioning alcoholic who works full time for nhs (!) is currently getting into debt and yes she drives, have just spoken about power of attorny and a will and got shut down as she is 'fine'

Just to instil some hope ARBD is pretty much the only cause of dementia that can be reversible IF she stopped drinking completely and took vitamin supplements and ate a good diet.

If you catch it soon enough and you commit to abstinence you can improve a lot or even be cured.

Sadly this usually doesn't happen because it's too far gone or people just refuse to give up drinking but certainly I have seen it improve a lot usually after people were forced to stop.

Tbh often there comes a crisis where they have a sudden very confused episode and are hospitalised.

At that point their capacity can be evaluated as an inpatient. And if someone loses their legal capacity, then their NOK can start a process to make decisions for them.

You may be sure that most people with this condition will not have given anyone power of attorney prior to having an acute exacerbation.

yep, my cousin has Korsakoff syndrome from drinking two bottles of whisky day in day out. Things were pretty bad for some time- he has to write everything down in a little book as short term memory is shot. Repeats constantly the same thing, asking the same questions over and over. However he did stabilise when he stopped drinking and we have seen an improvement. He hasn't touched a drop for five years and only drinks water and tea and eats very well...some lean meats, oily fish and lots and lots of leafy greens and veg

Foul, isn't it OP. Because it's so awful, HCPs don't often tell the relations what the disease has in store. Speaking as someone who knows a lot more about it than I would wish on my worst enemy, I would have appreciated some advance warning.

As well as coping with a badly brain damaged human who cares only about themselves, lies, insults and is widely rejected by the professionals who should be caring for them....you as the family get a series of horrifying shocks that, needless to say, you have to somehow cope with.

They weren't a great parent to start with, let's be honest....so summoning up the goodwill will be the toughest challenge you've ever faced.

Stuff to know:

1. A lot of medics don't like and won't treat people in this state. GPs neglect them, for instance, routinely. Only DM can stop drinking.

1. That puts the pressure on the untrained, unpaid, family, which is hilariously unfair. as they are also used for target practice by the alcoholic. Only DM can stop drinking.

1. IME, you can do all you can to help, and it will be expensive, exhausting and draining, but your only thanks will be more anguish. Only DM can stop drinking.

1. The only positive achievement you can be sure of is looking after yourself - so start, and finish, with that. Only DM can stop drinking.

1. Protect children from them. Yes, really. Only DM can stop drinking.

1. Earplugs help when you're around them. Turn the phone off at night. If she falls, leave her. Only DM can stop drinking.

I can't read this and run, it's too familiar to me. I've been in a similar position OP, and it was hard. Wishing you all strengh and good luck. Repeating what's been said above, you can't stop your parent drinking. This is not your doing and you must look after and protect yourself. If I could, I would give you a big hug.

In the same way that families can not stop a person drinking nor can health services. They can offer support but only if the person has some motivation to quit.

That's why services are perceived as unhelpful with alcohol problems. There's really just nothing that can be done whilst the person continues to choose to drink. Alcohol and drug addiction are excluded from compulsory treatment under MHA. Detox is pointless anyway if they go right back to drinking afterwards. Medication doesn't work and can be dangerous in combination with alcohol. You have to be sober to engage in therapy.

Help to stop drinking and stay sober is available but the person has to make some moves towards it themselves. No-one at all can make them do it.

If you need to detach yourself for your own and your family's good then no-one will blame you and it may be best not to enable ongoing drinking and set boundaries.

This was my mum, only she was in her 70s. She didn't stop drinking. She fell down the stairs in her home in the middle of the night, going for a top up, and broke her neck. Her carer found her the next morning.

Seek support for yourself, this is very unlikely to end well. Alcoholism is a cruel disease.

I have no specialised knowledge, but I just wanted to urge you to consider detaching and reducing contact with her (possibly to zero).

It doesn't sound like you can ultimately do much to help. Supporting her may just be enabling her to continue drinking. Your childhood has already been blighted by her: don't let your adulthood be ruined as well. You don't owe her this.