Have you got any good Christmas Covid jokes?

[chomalungma]

Gallows humour and all.

Why couldn't Joseph and Mary get a room at the Inn?
Because Bethlehem was under Tier 3 restrictions.

I am sure some people can come up with some others.

1. What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas

1. Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!

1. Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled

1. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity

1. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen

1. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, it's behind you

1. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn

1. Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn't know how many tiers it should have

1. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread

10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone

11. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail

12. Why won't Santa lose any presents this year? He's downloaded Sack and Trace

13. How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas? It'll take ages to flatten the curve

14. How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year? Fine. No sweat

15. Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials? Because they only wanted guinea pigs

16. Which government scheme supports Christmas dinner? Eat Sprout To Help Out

17. How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party? Put him on mute

18. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook

19. Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas? Marcus Rashford

20. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book a home delivery

Fantastic! Thank you for that. Think I will print them out separately and dish them out for us to read on Christmas Day

Fab jokes, and fab idea to print out 😆

Not a joke but I love this Brian Bilston poem

Placemarking (doing self-fill crackers this year, so these are perfect )

Fab @PoppyOppy

Do you work for a cracker company ?