Just typing this thread makes me very nervous, I’ve lived in denial about just how extreme my phobia of bugs / spiders are. I can’t think too much about them in my head or terrifying images, worst case scenarios build up in my head so I pretend they don’t exist.
I also have social anxiety but I wouldn’t say it’s a phobia and have had counselling and CBT. Not an easy process but I didn’t have the same disabling fear and at least felt comfortable taking steps to overcome it.
Whereas with this phobia, I honestly can’t think of anything more disabling to my quality of life. It’s ridiculous how it controls me so much, despite otherwise being a rational person. I know how ridiculous this may sound to others... but I feel suicidal at the thought of facing my fears.
Obviously it’s not possible to eliminate all risk of facings bugs / spiders, but I try very hard to - I’m too scared to live alone especially in a ground floor flat, clean like mad, scared to drive alone in case one crawled on me whilst driving, can’t watch TV if they’re on etc.
I studied psychology many years ago and I never forget watching a case study of a lady with an extreme phobia of bird feathers. Most of my classmates were laughing because it was unusual, however I felt so ashamed because I could relate a lot. The lady had a young child, and once was so scared from seeing a feather she left her young child alone in the park (which is when she realised she had to get help).
I don’t have children yet but again it’s something I worry about, don’t want to end up putting them at risk too because of my fears.
Sorry that’s song a long ramble - just trying to provide some context, I know lots of people feel uncomfortable around bugs. Because of this a phobia of bugs/spiders may often be trivialised when I’d argue only a few actually have a full blown phobia? (In my experience.) I hear many claiming they’re terrified of spiders but they can still look at them whereas I feel sick with fear doing so
Tldr;
Anyway just desperate to know of any success stories treating extreme phobia? What was the process like?
I really can’t carry on living like this as I genuinely feel suicidal at the thought of being exposed to it.
I’ve being putting off seeking help because I’m terrified the specialist will end up tricking me / force me to face my fear too soon. I think there is a psychological method called ‘flooding’ or something? Don’t think I could cope with something thing like that