Hi everyone
Xmas is rapidly approaching. I'm struggling with the thought of spending 3+ nights with my family. Unfortunately my parents drink too much and my dad in particular has a mental illness. He's always been a ranter but his rants these days are focussing on alt right conspiracies, pro trump, anti immigration, brexit and so on. He doesn't miss an opportunity to get a comment in about these things with any conversation. He also thinks of himself as highly intelligent and loves to debate or lecture me. A conversation is not really a conversation just a lecture. I find it stressful and he's confrontational and if I say I don't want to discuss it I get called out on only wanting to talk about "rainbows and unicorns" and shamed about not wanting to discuss it. I know there is no way of changing his mind so I don't try.
Obviously I find it offensive but these are my parents, and because my dad has a mental illness I have to be a bit understanding about it.
My mum tries to keep the peace but is prone to getting a bit nasty when she gets drunk.
I only really stay there once or twice a year, I don't drive so can't escape for 3 nights until trains come back again.
My DS is 8, and DM loves him and expects to have xmas with him, he also loves spending time there and gets spoiled rotten.
However I am really starting to lose the plot and stressing about it. There are no local airbnbs that I can afford or people I can stay with.
I can't confront their behaviour but I am anxious there will be some drama or other (there's often some massive blow up between mum and dad or whatever) and I just feel very weird about it all.
Despite all of this I do love my family they are just not easy to spend time around.
Does anyone have any tips? I cannot cancel this time unfortunately, for the sake of my son wanting to see his grandparents.