Hi guys,
I have 7 year old twin girls. One is sociable and has a small circle of friends, the other, Leila, does not have many friends. She has never appeared too bothered by this as she is generally happy in her own company, but this appears to not be the case now.
This morning she asked if it would be possible to change schools in the new year because she does not have friends at her current school. Her Dad and I feel that changing schools wouldn't necessarily solve the problem, because we feel that unless she can improve her social skills, she will be in the same situation at a different school. She actually does have a friend, a boy, but I think she is now looking at her sister and wanting to be part of a group. We have talked to her sister and she has said that she will include her, but we're not there in the school playground to see what is happening. The problem with Leila is that she has zero social skills. Her sister understands that to have friends it's give and take, and sometimes you have to play games that you wouldn't choose to play, so that it's fair for everyone. Give and take. However, Leila really doesn't get this mentality and is very bullish in her approach, so, inevitably ends up upsetting people because she is not willing to compromise if someone else doesn't want to do what she wants to do. I am wondering how we can develop her social skills to help her to understand how she needs to behave in order for her to be part of a group. I wonder if there is a book/movie that can help her to understand and develop?. Her Dad and I have constantly talked to her and tried to offer advice, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in. Perhaps she needs to talk to someone who is trained in this area, but she seems so young, and I don't want to make this more of an issue for her than it already is.
It is really hard to know what to do. I am hoping some of you may have some advice on how I can help her.
Thanks, and have a great day!
Donna