I don't feel comfortable going to my parents at Christmas

[Stillmonday]

My mum has just told me that I'm going as that's what she wants. I know the restrictions are lifted for a few days but I don't feel comfortable with it. I know my parents aren't careful and they don't respect social distancing so definitely wouldn't be careful around my toddler.

What are others views on this?

Who are you worried for, them or your toddler? Any underlying conditions for any of you?

Could you stay home for the 7 days before Christmas to minimise risk?

Ultimately it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with, and everyone else needs to respect that. I wouldn't want to host someone if I knew that attending would cause them risk and/or anxiety.

Well, you're an adult and mother. She can't force you. You decide what's best for yourself and your dc. You tell her what you'll be doing over Christmas and it's tough if she doesn't like it.
It's really not fair on you making you uncomfortable like this.

I think that you have to go with your gut feeling on this assuming that there would be no more than three households. I guess your concern might be that if you were to bring covid in then if they are not socially distanced then they could easily spread it to their friends and relatives. They do need to accept that you are now an independent adult though and you can make your own decisions.

She's your mother, not your boss. Stay at home if you don't want to go.

If my parents weren't being careful then I wouldn't go.

Can you ask her to be especially careful in the run-up to Christmas? Would she pay any attention?

Can you compromise and go for a short time? Morning for a drink and pressie opening them home for lunch? It's the sitting around the table to eat that puts me off seeing people. We've decided to stay home.

My mum has just told me that I'm going

Wow. You’re an adult if you don’t want to go then don’t.

Just say no! It’s not worth the risk.

You don’t have to do what she says, you’re an adult and a mum so make the decision based on what’s best for you and your child.

In your position I wouldn’t go either as you said “they aren’t careful”, I wouldn’t want to catch this virus.

If someone told me that “you are coming’ I wouldn’t go, COVID or no COVID.

Aside from which, I think that a lot of people have the same attitude and that they feel that the vaccine is now so close it’s not worth taking the risk.

It’s looking likely that the government are going to do a u-turn on opening up anyway so it’s likely to not be an issue.

We had this but stood our ground and now our folks have accepted an outdoor meet up. Stand your ground

How old are your parents out of curiosity?

I have an aunt who isn't careful. She describes Covid as a bully that you must stand up to! Even when my child had Covid she wanted to come over.

She is very surprised we don't want to go for Xmas Dinner. We are tier 3 and one son's had six isolations due to high volume cases. But the rest of us didn't catch Covid, so I will not take the risk of infecting her, even though it is she who is here, there and everywhere, mask under nose.

I'm sticking with BMJ advice.

And she's late 70s and has had cancer twice. I worry so much for her.

I’ve just kind of pulled out of my family one. My parents are dead and until recently I’ve been single for years so always gone to extended family. The trouble is, my singleton presence makes us four households. I said I’d go; I haven’t broken rules so far, we’ve been in tier 3 or equivalent since July, and I’ve been a hermit so fairly sure I don’t have anything to pass on. But, one relative has been in and out of shops all week, and I’ve just found out they are planning on eating in a small room all budged up together, and I can’t do it. So I’m going for a quick hello and presents and then coming home. They aren’t happy, but I’ve not got this far and not picked up the virus to then catch it at a cramped family meal.