Please help me deal with my four year old

[treening]

Have NC for this. My DS will be five in April. He's a lovely little boy. He is sweet, kind and generally well behaved. He's currently at home self isolating after a positive covid case as his school. We live in a small flat with no garden and both DH and I are wfh.

I feel terrible admitting this but I find him so annoying 90% of the time. He's at this age where he just thinks it is hilarious to do things like sing jingle bells at the top of his voice with "poo" instead of "bells", make stupid noises and faces, run up and down the flat screaming and randomly shouting, leap about on the sofa when watching TV and just generally being incredibly irritating. It winds me up so much and I feel awful because he isnt really being naughty, it is just normal kids' stuff - I know this because I see other kids doing it and their parents don't seem to be irritated at all. 8 feel like an awful mum tbh because sometimes I just snap at him to leave me alone. I cannot bear the constant noise. I have just had to make the dinner with headphones on.

I just have no idea what I can do to help me deal with this because I know it is my problem and not his. I do get out for walks on my own and things and a few weeks back I was away for 4 days for work. I missed him loads while I was gone but within an hour of getting back he was doing my head in again.

No other parents seem to have this. I just feel I must be an awful mum.

their parents don't seem to be irritated at all

There may be some saints like this. But I think they're all taking valium. Honestly there is nothing more irritating than the constant noise, I panic if I can't find my Airpods with the noise cancelling function. The only thing that makes it bearable is a couple of hours on my own every day, usually while I'm at work and/or they're at school.

You are not a bad mother. You are in the perfect storm of disaster scenario parenting. Think about it - if you had to design a scenario to drive a parent round the bend what would you do? Have two parents WFH in a small flat with no garden. Child out of school and childcare not allowed for self-isolation. Nothing open that usually distracts/tires/entertains. 5 years old so not old enough to be gripped by a book or entertain himself for long, plus not old enough to be trusted to keep safe for long. Probably too much screen time thanks to previous bullet points. Christmas so sugar availability is rampant. This is literally the worst possible combo to get on your last nerve and it's just really, REALLY bad luck that all these things have hit at once.

Please don't beat yourself up. You think no other parents have this, you're wrong - they're just not posting about it on social media and they're carting their kids off home and it's happening behind closed doors. It's not you, it's the age and the general situation.

Hang in there - this too shall pass

If you think about what he's doing, it's attention seeking. Attention is the drug-of-choice for children. They reaaaaaaaaaally want it.

I appreciate that you and your DH are WFH. It is unsustainable for you both to be working all day, with a 4 year old in your flat. It just can't happen. That's the thing you need to accept. It's only temporary, it will pass. But for now you and DH need to dedicate time and attention to your son, and you need to be up front about this with your employers. DH works mornings, you work afternoons, and you all go for a walk together at lunchtimes, or something.

PS you will all murder each other if you continue the way you are.

Agree with everything Guineapig says as well. Could each of you take a few days of annual leave if you have any left? Or even a few days of parental leave?

Yep, my son will he 5 in March and is identical to what you've described! He gets a massive kick out of annoying his siblings with his constant singing (screaming), gets louder when they don't give him attention). Says things like 'Rudolph the poo poo reindeer, did a funny poo poo'. Fed up with this poo obsession. He's absolutely charming in every other way but can be soo annoying. Such a struggle to discipline him too as once he starts crying, he will go on and on, requesting an apology because we hurt his feelings! I've noticed he thrives on compliments so any time he's quiet, I say' waaw I'm so proud of you for sitting so nicely, clever boy'! This does the trick for a bit until the next singing marathon!

Not just you. My almost four year old drives me up the bloody wall sometimes. Like your DS, he is a really lovely, kind, funny and usually well behaved boy. However I'm not sure how much more poo and bum talk I can suffer. No advice, but solidarity.