How to stop feeling angry over poor childhood diet.

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I was underweight as a child due to neglectful DM, was drinking fizzy drinks from age 2, different fast food every day, full dental work and teeth removal by my teens, never ate fruit or veg, never had plain water, we had poor nutrition. We were the children who had happy meals in their lunchboxes. I am only just in the healthy weight for my height as an adult, one cold/stomach bug and ill be underweight.
As a result of my poor diet as a child, ive some health issues, mainly macular degeneration in my eyes (my prescription is minus 13 aged late 30s), chronic constipation, and other things that arent for sure linked but im certain i am. For example, i've only had about 15 periods in 21 years of starting.
I try to eat as good as i can now with eating 10 veg and fruit most days but i feel the damage is already done and it makes me so angry.

I don't blame you!
I think the first thing to realise is that while your anger is perfectly justified it's probably not helping you.
Unless your using it to channel helpful behaviour now then you need to let go for yourself.
I try to redirect my thoughts when I start to ruminate on unfairness/Ill treatment that makes me angry.
I also try to act to either rectify the issue or remove the harmful person/situation from my life.
That helps with trying to forget as I can feel I've dealt with it and there is no need to think about it anymore.
I know that will be very difficult for you.
Take care

Oh gosh you poor thing!

That is awful.

I’m not surprised you are angry.

Are you in touch with your mum now? Have you ever been to therapy to talk through your anger for what happened?

That’s not a poor diet that’s neglect, sorry OP

You anger is justified, but for your health - which you prioritize - you have to let it go. Stress is an enormous factor in our physical wellbeing, and the anger you have about your childhood is just as corrosive as the bad diet you were given in your youth.

Therapy is brilliant but I know now everyone can access it. I’ve found journaling about my childhood helpful to process some of the things I went through, could be helpful to you too OP

@Scarydinosaurs i went NC when i went to university, as did my siblings. I tried to get therapy through the NHS but was told i didnt qualify as i wasnt feeling depressed or anxious.

@M0rT trying my best to rectify the issues but i often feel 'woe is me'

@OnlyFoolsnMothers i almost agree, we were always well dressed, smart children, did will in school but she just hated cooking so its hard to see it as neglect. Growing up our friends thought we were 'cool' because we could eat as many sweets as we liked!!

I appreciate you maybe angry and you’re fully entitled to be, however some of it may just be coincidental.

I’m a similar age and had a wide diet as a child, plenty of fruit, veg, grains. Treats only on high days and holidays kind of thing. My eye prescription is -10.5 and I have terrible constipation.

My brothers diet was much more restricted, he spends bloody hours in the loo according to my SIL and doesn’t need glasses at all.

I’ve recently (this week) started having a couple of prunes every other day, and it has helped. My main issue is never feeling thirsty though.

Have medical professionals told you that your health problems are down to poor childhood diet? It does sound awful, but unfortunately many children are raised that way without experiencing the same problems at your age.

Definitely pursue counselling, because I suspect diet is not the only aspect of your childhood that could have been better.

Have you ever found out why your DM neglected you OP? Did she have insurmountable problems of her own? Where was your dad in all this?

Obviously not making excuses but sometimes understanding why certain things happen can help.

@Marmite27 @TheYearOfSmallThings Healthcare professional have told me! I need monthly injections in my eyes and ive done what every one says to do to help constipation but its a deeper problem than drinking water and prunes!

@WorraLiberty she just didnt like cooking and i guess saw herself as the 'cool mum', parents seperated as a child and he didnt get custody so we saw him during every other saturday, he tried to get custody but courts always see the mums as better

That's sad OP and even sadder that you won't be alone in having your childhood diet affecting your adult health.

We have one of the highest child obesity rates in Europe, so I think posts like yours will be much more common in the future.

Sympathies. I am glad you are now following the best diet you can.

I was born in a poor rural community, where having teeth pulled out was seen as a good thing as they did not bother you later. I was routinely given sweets to suck on to go to sleep. My adult teeth are ruined. It could all have been so easily avoided. I feel your pain, and yet I can see what happened and how the people who loved me could not see what they were doing.

I do feel for you, it must be hard to not feel angry.
I had a difficult childhood, my mother was very controlling and critical. As a result I suffer with poor self-esteem, an eating disorder and other mental health problems. It felt particularly painful in my 20s & 30s, I had profound anger, and envy to others who had better childhoods. These are now mainly resolved and although I’m not sure I’m able to forgive or forget, I have let go of the anger.
The way I say it, is she did her best - although this wasn’t good enough. And I guess was a product of her own damaging upbringing. I’ve tried (and hopefully been successful) to break the cycle with my own DC. Although I made the conscious decision to only have one child.
You need to find ways of channelling or resolve the anger, or you will continue to suffer emotionally.
One thing I did was to write a letter to my mother (never intended or did indeed send) telling her how I felt. I can’t change my childhood, but I can change the way it makes me feel. I send love in my head to me as a child.

I don't blame you at all for feeling angry, and you should credit yourself with the dignity and courage at such a young age to walk away when you did.

It is underreported the chronic illness and pain suffered throughout a lifetime of those that are abused in childhood. It is connected to the central nervous system, and affects your immune system, a lack of minerals and vitamins will have an impact on your health for life.

Can you pay to talk to a counsellor that specialises in childhood abuse? So you can talk about your anger and feelings?

Are you looking after yourself now? Are you taking care of you? The little girl you once were may still have needs that are unmet? There are many things you can do, and one thing is drawing a line under your childhood, and deciding that was then - this is now and creating the kind of life that you want, and need. The old saying you can't change the past, you can only change the future is cliche, but very fitting in your case.

I completely understand how you feel OP!

Another example of this is toothbrushing. When you know how expensive and painful dental treatments are, why would any parent not insist on careful toothbrushing at least twice a day??!