I feel sad for dd

[xmassas]

Her teacher, who she was really looking forward to having ,left in October and since she's had several temporary teachers. Our neighbor who's dd she was friends with since a baby moved away in November. Now her best friend at school is leaving. They have been friends since age 3. Also she hasn't seen any family due to COVID as they are mostly high risk. She is so upset. This year has just been a nightmare.

Any suggestions on how I can cheer her up?

That is a shame for her but life isn’t plain sailing for most Try and get it into perspective there are children who are orphans and starving in the world. FaceTime with her friend moving away and also writing and becoming penpals may be good for her as long as she has her mum she will be fine

She definitely understands there are many people in worse positions than here in the world.

I was hoping for some ideas on how to cheer her up really.

It sounds like she (and you) are having a tough time Can you plan some nice low-key activities to do together - a favourite film, cooking her favourite dinner together, a walk or drive to see some Christmas lights? How old is DD?

@Skyla2005

That is a shame for her but life isn’t plain sailing for most Try and get it into perspective there are children who are orphans and starving in the world. FaceTime with her friend moving away and also writing and becoming penpals may be good for her as long as she has her mum she will be fine

This reasoning makes no sense. You can have concern for people with serious problems while simultaneously feeling sad about your own (relatively minor) ones.

OP I felt similar when DD moved from nursery to school this year as she adored it there and her very special friend went elsewhere. But she has adapted really well and we FaceTime her friend and have play dates outside school (outside at the mo of course). You can keep the friendship going. I’m sure your DD will be fine.

Perhaps in the short term she could set up a pen pals sort of arrangement with her friend - they could send letters and drawings back and forth? Might give her sometime nice to focus on

How old is she?

She's 9.

Focus on christmas.

Make a plan to meet up with new friends for walks over the holidays, so she has someone to play with when she returns to school in January.

Make a timetable of fun with her - acknowledge her sadness with her friend and let her come up with solutions herself. She will then build resilience and a stronger character from the adversity.

My dd has also had several supply teachers due to covid, her best friends was admitted into hospital in October and is still not back in school - her other friend had an outside birthday party and for some reason didn't invite her. She has really struggled with the return to school with so much pressure, masks and not having her best friend.

She took one day off, as I could see she had reached her limit. We had fun making necklaces, walking the dog, we made her favourite lunch and cuddled up and watched a christmas film.

We made a short list of girls she would like to see over the holidays, and we have made some arrangements. She is now back to her normal happy self. We should welcome some challenges, life is not plain sailing and this is how they learn to cope - small problems with our guidance pave the way for bigger problems in teen life - and they slowly learn that that they are strong and can fix things themselves. In the scheme of things it is no big deal.

@Skyla2005

That is a shame for her but life isn’t plain sailing for most Try and get it into perspective there are children who are orphans and starving in the world. FaceTime with her friend moving away and also writing and becoming penpals may be good for her as long as she has her mum she will be fine

Gosh, when my DD was 9 and both of her best friends left the school in the space of four months and she was crying every night because she felt she had no one to play with I should have just reminded her there were starving children in the world. That would have been an easy solution.

Back in the real world of not wanting to see your own child upset it’s hard, especially right now. Does she have other friends at school? I found the school very helpful, they made a real effort to help her make new friends after I went in and told them how unhappy she was. Outside of school it’s difficult in these times, I think all you can do is give her plenty of love an attention, do things she enjoys with her and reassure her that this isn’t forever.

Aww poor little mite! Can you sign her up to a new club in January (when they begin!) so she has thr opportunity to meet new friends?

She does have other friends but this is her friend since her first day of pre school. They have spent every school day together. I know she will be ok, it's just hard to see her so upset about it all.

When the neighbor moved out she told her friend about it and she was so kind making sure she was ok and trying to cheer her up.

Spend time with her doing stuff - baking, watching tv, making jewellery, doing TikTok dances - whatever takes her fancy. If you’re in an area where you can go out, go out for a milkshake or shopping etc. My DD is 9 and sometimes gets a bit overwhelmed so lots of down time, I’ve also kept her home for a day with mum - just time to be herself without the pressure of school. It’s hard to see them upset but it’s a good time to draw them close to you.

Or you could tell her to suck it up, there are starving babies in war torn countries