We'll probably never live together, he points out our differences, can it last?

[Outdoorsie]

So we're in our fifth year together, no children, neither married before, both very independent, each with own homes, no talk of future. Recently he said we're very different, ie he said to me "you don't like growing vegetables", which he does- that's fair enough. He also said "you don't like music", which I most certainly do, I just wouldn't know always singer and name of song etc which he regularly tests me on. He also makes comments about my home. It's like everything he does/ has etc is superior to me. I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive or would you consider them as put-downs. I mentioned this to him recently and he said he needs to keep his mouth shut more!

He doesn’t sound very nice?

I really wouldn’t want it to last. There are plenty of nice people in the world you could go out with.

zigaziga, he does treat me well otherwise and so this is why I'm unsure about what lies ahead for our future.

Sounds like he feels he's in competition with you. I wonder how much more fun that would be with a baby for him to be jealous of as well?

Not a keeper, sorry.

He sounds exhausting. He tests you? What happens when you fail? Growing vegetables is soul destroying.

He honestly sounds like an arsehole, I wouldn’t want to live with him personally anyway.

If he has always been like this, then he’s just an arse. Growing veg and knowing lots about music are just hobbies. It’s the important things (outlooks on life etc) that make a relationship successful.

If this has come out of nowhere and he’s increasing the comments about how little you have in common then I’d be prepared for him getting ready to end your relationship. It’s almost like he’s trying to plant the seeds for how unsuited you are to each other and when you question this, he’s making out like you’re controlling and don’t allow him to air his opinions.

My husband and I are very different; personalities, hobbies, tastes in food, films...often opposite. The difference is that we don’t see the other’s choice as inferior or something to be mocked. It’s just a difference.
Your partner is point-scoring and making you feel inferior, which is not treating you well or good for you. It’s the sort of thing that makes me uncomfortable to see in other couples, and I can’t imagine tolerating it in my partner.
If you want to stay in a healthy relationship, you have to have an honest conversation with him about how you feel, and why he does it.

Some people can have long term relationships where they do not live together. The issues you describe seem to be about your compatibility not about where you live.

@nosswith

Some people can have long term relationships where they do not live together. The issues you describe seem to be about your compatibility not about where you live.

Yes, or not about your compatibility so much as his superior attitude to what he views as your incompatibility.

You don't say anything about how old you are, whether you would like to move in together, whether you want to have children, or why, after five years, there's been no talk of any kind of future -- who is driving this silence?