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Original poster

Worried about Son's literacy

29 replies

TheSunnySide · 13/12/2020 22:40

My son is almost 10. He reads well, his comprehension is good. His vocabulary is amazing and spelling is great. He has great conversations with me and is funny and witty.

Yet he struggles with writing - has never mastered joined up and hates the extra lessons they are giving him in school.

I found out yesterday that he doesn't know his alphabet. As in he cannot recite it so if I were to ask him 'what is the 21 st letter of the alphabet' he wouldn't be able to work it out! I am shocked that he is in year 5 and doesn't know this stuff. Would you be?

(NB not an AIBU and I am going through this stuff with him so hoping to rectify it)

OP posts:
Thereluctantstepmother · 13/12/2020 23:20

It sounds like dyslexia. My DAD reads voraciously and is very bright but at 14 still can’t tell you the alphabet or months of the year. Get him assessed.

Thereluctantstepmother · 13/12/2020 23:20

DSD**

orangeicecream · 13/12/2020 23:28

Id have to sing the alphabet to find the 21st letter.... I am not dylexic

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orangeicecream · 13/12/2020 23:29

Except clearly I can't spell dyslexic! #tired

Original poster
TheSunnySide · 14/12/2020 01:15

He isn't dyslexic.

I am just surprised that the school hasn't taught him these things.

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 14/12/2020 01:20

Did you never teach him to sing it? We used to practice at home. It isn't just up to the school......

Original poster
TheSunnySide · 14/12/2020 01:22

@Orangeicecream, that's the thing. He can't sing it so he wouldn't be able to tell me what the letter is.

He knows up to G and then gets lost. If I were to ask him to write a letter he would know what to do but he has never learned the order the letters of the alphabet go in!

We sat down tonight and went through it and he is picking it up now but I just find it really weird that he wouldn't know this and also bad that I have never realised.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSunnySide · 14/12/2020 01:24

Mintjulia, I did when he was little. Once he started school, learned to read, learned to write etc I just assumed he knew it. Yesterday his cousin was singing it and I realised he had no clue! I guess if I wasn't aware then his teachers might equally have not been aware because he might never have been tested on it in any way.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSunnySide · 14/12/2020 01:29

To be fair, when I talked to him about it his first question was 'but why would I need to know?' and all I could come up with was that he might be tested on it and need to know to pass the test.

I guess for me it is a worry because he did seem embarrassed not to know it and something he said did make me wonder if he has been teased about it before.

OP posts:
2020out · 14/12/2020 01:29

It is true that we don't really teach the alphabet past the song, which is generally covered in reception. It's not on the curriculum so oddly doesn't really get recapped (though it should - they get to year 6 and can't use a dictionary because they don't know the alphabet!). I wouldn't panic about him not knowing it. You're doing the right thing teaching him it though :)

Saoirse7 · 14/12/2020 01:51

@TheSunnySide

He isn't dyslexic.

I am just surprised that the school hasn't taught him these things.

Just because he doesn't know it doesn't mean the school hasn't taught him it. I'm surprised that in 10 years you haven't recited the alphabet with him...

Also, joined up handwriting isn't for everyone. Some love it, some loathe it - people find their preference as they get older. I personally write interchangeably in print and joined.

RavingAnnie · 14/12/2020 02:00

He needs to know it as things are referenced alphabetically. Can you teach him the song yourself?

Subordinateclause · 14/12/2020 02:45

Alphabet unlikely to be taught past reception, or perhaps Y1. Unfortunately this does happen in schools where children don't pick things up at the age they are expected to and then there are gaps in their knowledge. There isn't time to keep recapping everything and realistically the vast majority of children will have mastered the alphabet so it won't be a priority (certainly not in Y5 when they are trying to cram in knowledge of all the different word classes, clause types in sentences etc).

rockinaftermidnite · 14/12/2020 03:25

Not hard to teach or to learn the alphabet. Just sing it! No big deal.

cabbageking · 14/12/2020 03:29

Sounds like he has learnt other skills. I would have a look at dysgraphia which is a writing disorder not linked to ability or reading skills. If his spelling is good he knows the sounds and combinations. It may simply be he has never needed to know the order to function.

TeenPlusTwenties · 14/12/2020 06:47

What are the rest of his motor skills like?
Does he have any sensitivity to sounds / taste / texture?

ForeverBubblegum · 14/12/2020 09:28

My preschooler knows the alphabet song, as do his whole class as they sing it at nursary. Not saying that to make you feel bad, I'm just thinking maybe the school assumed all the children knew it before starting so didn't think they needed to teach it.

Did your DS go to nursery? There are probably quite a few kids who missed chunks of the early years curriculum if they weren't in a setting and parents didn't know what to cover at home.

SillyOldMummy · 14/12/2020 11:57

Just sounds like a weird gap, nothing to worry about. I'm still embarrassed that at age 9 I thought Scotland was a remote island. We all have strange blind spots in our education.

Original poster
TheSunnySide · 14/12/2020 16:17

'I'm surprised that in 10 years you haven't recited the alphabet with him...'

I have.

DS was in a private nursery until Reception as I was working full time. TBH I was never overly impressed with their teaching (they had a teacher in for what would have been the equivalent school nursery year).

We are doing it now and he has picked it up Well in the last 48 hours so I don't think it is a major problem but was thrown when I realised.

Luckily I am a school Librarian so teaching him to use a dictionary/alphabetise should be easy for me.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 14/12/2020 16:22

@TheSunnySide

My son is almost 10. He reads well, his comprehension is good. His vocabulary is amazing and spelling is great. He has great conversations with me and is funny and witty.

Yet he struggles with writing - has never mastered joined up and hates the extra lessons they are giving him in school.

I found out yesterday that he doesn't know his alphabet. As in he cannot recite it so if I were to ask him 'what is the 21 st letter of the alphabet' he wouldn't be able to work it out! I am shocked that he is in year 5 and doesn't know this stuff. Would you be?

(NB not an AIBU and I am going through this stuff with him so hoping to rectify it)

There is no way in hell I would know what the 21st letter of the alphabet is!

I am dyslexic, but would most people know this off the top of their heads?!

The writing plus the alphabet problems might point to dyslexia/dyspraxia, but might not. It doesn't sound awful.

Stinkyjellycat · 14/12/2020 16:24

Why are you so certain he doesn’t have dyslexia?

CorianderQueen · 14/12/2020 16:44

@SarahAndQuack not off the top of your head but easy to work out within 10 seconds of you know it's five back from the end of the alphabet and sing through it in your head quickly

SarahAndQuack · 14/12/2020 16:48

I can't sing the alphabet backwards quickly, or really at all - sorry, I'm not being helpful for the OP, just amazed this is something most adults could do, let alone most children. Every day's a school day.

bloodywhitecat · 14/12/2020 16:49

Dysgraphia?

LIZS · 14/12/2020 16:52

It is just practice, perhaps practical use , like filing or using indexes will help reinforce it. Although you are convinced he is not dyslexic sequencing, writing, inability to show literacy skills on paper, poor spelling etc can be indicative of other SpLD. Ds was a good reader with great vocabulary and verbal expression but dyspraxic.

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