If you have 3 DC, how is it?

[Threeinthebedandlittleonesaid]

Recently had DC2 and I think that will be it for us although we've sort of touched on whether we might consider a DC3 - I think in an ideal world we'd love a third but just thinking through practicalities etc and I think it's unlikely but possible. I think DH would very happily have another ASAP but he understand my perspective (and also says he understands if I didn't want to go through pregnancy and labour again!)

If we did, I'd want to go back to work first as didn't go back after DC1 due to relocation and had DC2 relatively soon after but with move in between if we had another it would be a bigger gap on my CV and already concerned it's going to be tricky getting back into job market, I had a good position before and not expecting the same level at all but would like to get re established before even considering it. We could then look properly at total income and what options this would give us for the DC's futures etc and decide if we could comfortably do it.

But, I'm also worried I'd lose the closeness I have with the two wonderful DC we have, and recognise the risk of a third DC having problems for example (we are early 30s but know it's always a risk)

Those who have had three, how have you found it? Really just interested at this stage since as I say it would be some time before we decided to, if indeed we did

We have three, five years between DS1 and DD then 23 months between DD and DS2. I struggled when the younger two were little, sometimes it was a tantrumming toddler and crying baby all day, then a couple of hours with excitable DS1 as well before DH got home which could be draining!

I changed jobs after DS2 purely because I needed more flexible hours than I could have in my previous role, but the gap in CV never felt like it caused problems, personally.

Never felt like my bond with the elder two changed by having a third, especially as they get older I'd say I have the closest bond with DS1 (now 18). Likewise never really had any issues around closeness between DC, there was a little patch where the boys didn't really have much in common but it was only a matter of months, then DS2 grew into Lego and DS1 found a renewed interest!

We have 3 boys, ages 6, 9 & 11. Ds2 has suspected ASD which didn't come to light until I was pregnant with DS3.

I absolutely love it. We don't feel any less close as a 5 than we did as a 4. However, it is a lot busier than with just 2 DC & is getting more so the older they get. I don't work full-time & couldn't without using a lot of childcare, which is not an option for us because of cost & DS2'S needs & also not something we want to do. There is always somebody needing something. Lots of places don't cater for families of 5 - hotels, Covid tests etc! But you find ways round it. It is also generally more expensive as you get a family ticket to places plus one. But j wouldn't change it.

It’s nice. Noisier than it would be but a really welcome addition. Feel lucky as getting on a bit.

Big ages gaps though - also boy, boy then girl. She gets lots of love and attention from everyone.

Three is the magic number. I have 4 years between mine. One with medical needs one with autism. It's is endless fun. They all get on very well and are all very different personalities and different needs from us. We both went part time when we had our third and have no he is 10 both back to full-time.

It can be chaotic. Two boys 9&8 and a girl nearly 5. It gets easier as they get older.

I have three DC. They're all lovely, but I don't think I realised how much harder three would be than two. DC3 was the worst sleeper by miles and a very wilful determined toddler so the early years were hard (mine are all close in age). He's lovely now, but these days they're all really sporty (which is great!) so DH and I spend our weekends driving them to matches and training. Three is busy!

We have 3. Small gap between 1-2 and then bigger 2-3 with 5.5 years first to last. The youngest is quite behind them but tries to keep up (think she knows a lot of the Harry Potter characters age 3 for instance!) .. but it is lovely and hard work at the same time. We don’t do many hotel holidays more self catered and we did have to change our car after a while and we will have to move house but these are things we probably would’ve done anyway. A gang of 3 is a party and they play together well mostly. Don’t think I could manage 4 though!!! No regrets here!

It’s wonderful. Mine all have four years between, which has resulted in quite unique relationships between them all. The youngest is everyone’s little favourite and I feel I have a real crowd of my own. Each one is a joy is their own right, and as they get older they are developing into lovely people. It was a grind sometimes when I had a newborn, 4 year old and an 8 year old, but these days it’s wonderful and I am making a real effort to enjoy the days.

Thanks for these replies. Do you mind if I ask how it's been financially? I think we are ok with DH's income and then me bringing in extra and should manage childcare although I do worry about what if we divorce etc etc! No plans to but I like to be sensible

For us it has been quite a lot more expensive than it would have been with two. Things like holidays, days out etc are usually family rate + 1. Also I have had longer out of the workplace. Plus you wouldn't be entitled to any benefits that i can get as my 3rd DC was born in 2014 (thinking child benefit for 3rd child etc). We have, however, not spent much on toys & clothes as all passed down from DS1, which is a benefit of having 3 boys into similar things.

Cars can be tricky. We usual have to take two cars and holidays are significantly more expensive.

Tiring, noisy, chaotic and hugely expensive even without childcare costs.

I have three - the only thing I can be certain of is that the love isn’t shared more thinly across three - it expands to encompass them all

Three is harder than five logistically, but in my case, I have ID twins and then another - the twins are far less close than one twin and his little brother which was unexpected!

I am one of 4 and have 2 DC myself, the main reason I didn’t have 3 was the time and attention I wanted to give them. I had a great time growing up but there wasn’t a lot of one on one time with anyone parent. Even as an adult it’s hard now, my parents have to split themselves between 4 sets of grandchildren.

We love it, noisy and more chaotic though. We have two close together in with less than 2 yrs between them...they were 7 and 5 when #3 was born.

This was nice in many ways, they were old enough to be very excited and full to the brim with love. As well as not needing 'babying'. But #2 was old enough that he had a few years of being the baby before another came along, so we haven't noticed any 'middle child' issues.

It is harder in many ways, now we have a 3, 8 and 10 yr old. So we were well on the way out of the chaos years but now have a noisy toddler around.

But he's great, an utter monster and harder than I remember toddlers being but that is probably because we are used to older kids. He's totally adored by everyone and is lots of fun.

We have 3. 2 years between ds1 and dd, 4 years between dd and ds2. They are now 13, 10 and 6. Some days it can be really hard. Ds1 has special needs. But mostly it's great. They always have someone to play with and it's nice to see the different relationships they have with each other.