Am I making a mistake in goi back to uni?

[nc67890]

I’m wanting to and yet terrified .

Took two years out of study because my mum was very ill eg overdosed . I couldn’t cope anymore with studying and that, and so I ran away from uni, came home to try sort things out .

Two years on I’m not entirely sure I have fixed anything - I suspect I can’t . Was told if I don’t go back to uni in January I can’t go back at all, so I’ve taken the plunge and I’m going back ... distance learning at first . I’m basically picking myself up from rock bottom, pretty alone and not any huge support . My personal tutor phones once or twice a month, but thats it .. I don’t have any good friends or family I can talk to . My mum has some support now but most of it stopping in the new year ...

I’m so bloody worried . I know it’s the better option, it’ll give me a decent career hopefully, but I think I’m going to hurt my family by doing this and I don’t want to do that ... I don’t know what to do for the best . Sitting listening to Christmas songs getting more and more worked up and thinking fuck it, why am I bothering?

Your family should want what's best for you.

Did your mum overdose to try and get you to come back from Uni? How is your relationship generally?

You only get one life. No one should ask you to sacrifice your dreams for them, least of all your mum.

I don’t think she did, it’s hard to tell though as she won’t discuss it and says it was an accident . She took 7 days worth of all her meds . I was at home with her at the time .

I think she does want me to be happy but she’s scared of being alone and needs help with most things around the house, its difficult . Very much stuck in parent/child relationship still too . It’s very hard to know what’s best sometimes .

I think once I get back into the swing of things it might get easier but at the moment I’m just worried about jt all.. being at home too I’m worried I’m going to feel even more lonely than usual but not sure .

Go to Uni. To be blunt, you have to consider your own life which will, if we believe the actuaries, continue after your DM has died.

You've been trying to sort your mum out for 2 years OP, and admit that hasn't worked.

Because your mum is the only one who can sort her own life out. Like you are the only one who can take control of yours.

If you dont want to go to Uni, dont go. But own your own decision, because you could go, you could set boundaries with your mum and live the life you want to.

In 10 years time what will you wish you had done?

Go back to uni. You have your whole life ahead of you and uni might just make that easier. You say you haven’t fixed anything-that’s because you can’t. You’re not a doctor and your not your mum, all you can do is support her and you can do that without putting your life on hold. See if you can get support through the uni for your own mental health too. Good luck OP, it’s lovely that you’ve done so much to help your mum but you need to think of yourself too.