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Original poster

Third baby

20 replies

Goostacean · 09/12/2020 20:45

Do you have one? How long after DC1 and 2? I have 2 of the same sex and wonder if a third of the opposite sex would upset their little dynamic? We’d need a bigger car, house, more hours in the day... and then the idea of being pregnant whilst looking after the existing two 😱 And yet, somehow, I can’t get the thought out of my mind. Any advice??

OP posts:
Speckledfrogonlog · 09/12/2020 21:21

Yep I have your above scenario! I’m not gonna lie, it is tough, but for me it is worth it, seeing the way they interact. But sometimes I do wish I could split myself into 3 people. We did get a bigger car, which was needed to fit all 3 car seats and all the paraphernalia that babies seem to need. How old are your Dc? Mine are 4, 2 and 7 months. It was hard towards the end of my pregnancy as I got quite bad SPD, and I felt bad for not being able to run around after them much. How does your partner feel about a 3rd? I was excited and terrified before my 3rd arrived. Ultimately you find a way to manage, because you have to!

Corner13 · 09/12/2020 21:22

Don’t do it.

MuchTooTired · 09/12/2020 21:30

I grew up as one of three. Maybe there was too much of an age gap between the eldest and youngest (7 years) but I’d never want 3 - it was always two against one although we did frequently switch allegiance, and the bickering was pretty intense at times. Might’ve been different if we’d all been the same sex.

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Original poster
Goostacean · 09/12/2020 21:54

We’ve got two boys, almost 3 and just turned one... I think we’d want a gap of 2.5 years from middle to youngest (22 months between the two we have was pretty tough!).

Why not, @Corner13?

OP posts:
Original poster
Goostacean · 09/12/2020 22:01

Oh and @Speckledfrogonlog DH is currently on the fence about it... Immediately after no.2 was born he announced he was DONE. But now that the hardest early days are over, he’s coming round to the idea. I think if I suggested it in 9 months time, he’d probably be keen- obviously we’d need to discuss properly, this is more just me musing.

Maybe we should just stop “rolling the dice”, we are lucky to have had two healthy beautiful babies, I had an EMCS followed by a VBAC with very bad tearing which I seem to have gotten away with (miraculously!) without long term implications. Maybe just count our blessings?

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KindKylie · 09/12/2020 22:06

3 has been great for us and as both DH and I come from large families we wanted the same for our dc. 2 felt too neat and organised.

We absolutely love our little gang and love how it has changed all the relationships in our family. Mine are older now and no regrets at all.

LemonTwist · 09/12/2020 22:18

We have three, two older DSs and their little sister. We have a bigger age gap - my eldest was 8 and my middle one 6 when their baby sister was born.
It was completely the right decision for us.
The boys love their little sister so much it is delightful to watch and she loves them back in return.
I really feel 'done' now where I didn't before and I think I would feel the same if DD had been a DS. I was convinced she was a boy through the whole pregnancy and was rather shocked when she turned up 😆

Its hard work in a lot of ways but in others less so. None of it is a surprise and by no. 3 we are a bit more practised! Its not all sunshine and rainbows but I wouldn't change my 3 for the world.

FourPlatinumRings · 09/12/2020 22:24

My DM was one of three, all girls, and she was the middle kid. She's vehemently against odd numbers of children as she says one is always left out. I do think it's harder on the middle child as they lose their place somewhat. They cease to be the baby of the family and just end up being an additional boy/girl. Also, I know a couple of families where baby #3 was twins.

LemonGreen · 09/12/2020 22:34

We have 3 - DS1 12, DS2 10 and DD 7.

We love having a slightly bigger brood. The boys have always got on well together and they now involve their sister a lot more since she got a little bigger. I am pleased to have a girl in the family if I'm honest, and to have that experience, but she has been the hardest work child by a very long way! I found it really difficult until she was about 5 (many reasons including her being ill) but it's much better now. It was definitely the right choice for us

Original poster
Goostacean · 09/12/2020 22:34

Twins is statistically v unlikely as I don’t think I have a single “risk factor”, but obviously it’s not an impossibility! We’re on the younger side, by today’s standards, so time isn’t a factor.

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BackforGood · 09/12/2020 22:42

It's very personal, but I love having 3
We have
ds
28month gap
dd1
34month gap
dd2.
Each 3 school years apart, which has worked out well.
Love ours and wouldn't have it any other way.

Thistles24 · 09/12/2020 22:50

Do it!! He was the biggest surprise but is our greatest blessing, and has brought the whole family closer together. We have a bigger age gap (10 and 8 when DC3 was born) but they have such an amazing bond. I will never tire of watching their delight and pride in him anytime a new milestone is reached!

Nicknamegoeshere · 09/12/2020 23:34

I have three - a 13 year-old son and a 10 year-old son with ex-husband and a six month-old daughter with fiancé (his only bio child - and last - we're 40 and 45!!)
A lot of people thought I was a little but crackers for choosing to start all over again with the baby stage etc but it's all good (so far!) Smile

Nicknamegoeshere · 09/12/2020 23:34

*bit

Original poster
Goostacean · 10/12/2020 10:49

Thanks for the replies, lovely to read about all these slightly bigger families! I don’t think I’d want the larger gap, I’m definitely ready to wrap up the nappies and buggies stage within the next 5 years... But it is telling that I’ve not got rid of any of the baby stuff that DS2 has grown out of!

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isawthat · 10/12/2020 10:53

Hiya, I had DC3 in August. He’s fit in really well into our little family, DD is 4 and DS1 is 3, so there’s not a huge age gap. The big 2 actually seem to get on better with DC3 than they do with each other. He was a surprise, we originally only planned for 2, but I’m so happy we have 3. Also didn’t need to get a bigger car as the one we had had 3 full seats in the back so you could fit 3 car seats.

MonaLisaPiles · 10/12/2020 10:56

I have three
My son was 3 and a half and my daughter was 21 months when my second son was born

Hard work but they are very close and really love each other. They really are their own little team already and the last three years watching them grow up together has been very special.

peachescariad · 10/12/2020 11:00

I had 3 - number 3 wasn't planned though...they are now DS21, DS19 & DD18 so very close together....when she was born I had 3 under 3 years and 3 months....
Yes it was bloody hard but absolutely worth it - we love having and being a large family and they're all still at home too.
We did take big step and move into a 4 bedroomed house 10 years ago.

Original poster
Goostacean · 11/12/2020 21:32

Hmm, well after a particularly horrific night with the baby and a tough week at work, I think we’re both wondering about sticking with two after all Sad

OP posts:
FourPlatinumRings · 11/12/2020 22:04

@Goostacean

Hmm, well after a particularly horrific night with the baby and a tough week at work, I think we’re both wondering about sticking with two after all Sad
Nothing wrong with that. And there's no need to rush anyway.
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