When friends don't seem happy for your success

[orientalknife]

I recently set up my own business. I've worked hard and it's going really well.
Most of my friends and family are supportive and happy for me but a few are proving to be less so!
I suppose it is hunan nature and I'm less than perfect myself! But I've always celebrated and supported my close friends and family in their success.

Is it an MLM?

My first thought was MLM.

I’ve lost a few old school friends to the ‘I’ve started my own business and it’s going really well hun, wanna buy some (candles, skin care, beauty products, kitchen shit) brigade’

Can’t be arsed trying to explain to them why they’re total mugs so just delete them on SM.

Depends what your business is?
If you’re an on-line sex-worker, Bitcoin dealer, MLM ‘business’ woman you might not get a positive reaction from everyone.
Same goes for cottage industries- hot chocolate snow cones, wax melts etc.
Some people aren’t interested in that kind of thing.

What exactly are you expecting from them, beyond a ‘well done’ and a pat on the back...?

That’s all I’d be expecting from my friends, so I’m having a hard time envisaging exactly what sort of ‘celebrating’ and ‘supporting’ you actually require from them - how often (every time they see you?), and what level of intensity (a conga line? Magnums of champagne?), etc.

As others have said, to an extent it depends what it is and whether it's contentious. MLM of any kind say, I wouldn't ever actively support.

If not I think it's disappointing but ultimately these things generally are almost always about them and their very valid frustrations about their own success or current situation. Things are not easy at the moment for most people, it's wonderful that you've done well OP but most people haven't and we often don't know as much as we think about peoples personal circumstances. Equally they aren't actually obligated to be a yes-man/woman for something they might think is uninteresting or dubious.

Unless they're directly being abusive or insulting I would cut slack, not bring it up unduly and enjoy the praise you're getting from the majority, alongside your own success. No need to let it particularly effect much IMO.

They could be jealous or you could be obnoxiously bragging or in denial about your success.

Do you mean they haven't said "well done"
Or haven't bought anything from you?
Or talk about you having become a millionaire behind your back?

Your OP is too vague to comment really. And, yes, what Merchant says, what level of effusion is required?

Are you expecting them all to buy something from you?

Going OP. It’s a MLM a isn’t it? What is it? Tropic, the dodgy not dodgy perfume, body shop or the middle class MLM choice of usbourne books?

It might not be an MLM!

But I do know what you mean. I've done a couple of things in my life which have been great achievements for me and family haven't given a shit and a couple were actively nasty about it. It really hurts.

There have been a couple of these threads recently. I just don't really get what reactions people expect from others? If a friend or family member told me they were setting up a business I'd probably ask a few questions, tell them it sounded exciting, and not think a lot more of it. Or perhaps they are cautiously happy for you with it being a new business and will show more excitement if/when the business starts to take off as a success?

Also need to know if it's MLM..,

Is it an mlm? Are you trying to flog them stuff or doing that thing where you pretend you’re making a small fortune when actually you’re barely breaking even? If it’s an mlm then they’ve probably got a shit ton of people doing the same thing,

If you’ve started a proper business and you’re not havering on or trying to flog them stuff then they aren’t your friends.

When you say doing well have you suddenly upped your income significantly? How do your friends know it has been successful?

What is mlm?

Not flogging stuff and no not expecting them to buy off me or use my service

Don't expect champagne or huge displays of excitement

But for example, being told I'm a party pooper when I don't want to break covid rules which could affect my business, seems to me a little unsupportive

I think it's quite rare to be genuinely and significantly happy about a friend's success. Mostly, you'd rather your friends were happy than otherwise, but there's no strong emotion attached to it. If a friend succeeds where you've failed there's usually underlying resentment however much this may be disguised by gushing congratulations. Fundamentally people are selfish and only really interested in their own success or the success of their immediate family.

I think people don’t like it when others don’t behave like them so I wonder if your example of being a party pooper is more about you not breaking rules than not being happy about your business? People feeling judged that they are breaking rules.

Possibly @Starryskiesinthesky

I had a friend exactly like this. I say had because she isn’t my friend any longer. Anyway, she loved Lording it over me when I was the saddo single mum mate with always a sorry tale to tell. She had a long term boyfriend and then ended up with two kids and buying a part rent/part buy house. Anyway, I went round to her new house one day and got the grand (boastful) tour. Did all the appropriate oohing and aahing over her (shite) decorating and carpets etc. After about 40 mins of that, I finally got my chance to speak and started telling her about my and my husband’s new business which was a publisher. She just looked at me dead pan and said ‘who’s going to buy that?, I mean, really, who’s going to buy that?’ Hand on heart, I wasn’t trying to sell, I was trying to have a catch up. This was a side hustle and we ended up making a shedload selling the code to the website rather than the books 😆

She just couldn’t seem to be happy for me once my life moved upwards. I’m convinced that she’s miffed as I’m married yet her boyfriend of 12 years has yet to propose. I’m in no way saying that marriage is the be all and end all but I know it’s something that she wants and to see your downtrodden mate get something you want, plus buy a house (not part rent/part buy) and use their degree (when she dropped out of her degree) must be quite galling.

With friends like that who needs ememies?!!

But for example, being told I'm a party pooper when I don't want to break covid rules which could affect my business, seems to me a little unsupportive

Interesting that your reaction to this is "they are being unsupportive of my business". You can;t expect your business to be other people's priority or uppermost thought. Wanting to break covid rules and abusing people who don't is, in my book, dickish behaviour, unkind and selfish and and irresponsible- but it doesn't automatically make me think they are failing to be supportive of your business. I don;t know if I am explaining this very well tbh, because it might sound like a criticism of you and I don't mean it to be!

Op your success is yours to enjoy.

You do not need a big fanfare or a billboard of congratulations.

They are getting on with their own lives, and probably happy enough that all is going well with you, that is all there is to it.

I am considered very successful, and I have never expected any of my friends and family to acknowledge it in any way, why would they. There are bigger and more important things to consider beyond a successful business. Perhaps you need to ask yourself why you even need or expect this op? Is it insecurity? Neediness?

Why isn't it good enough that you are proud of you, and thats all you need?