18 months ago I finally left my ex husband. He was a controlling and abusive bully. I had been wanting to leave him for many years but couldn’t find the courage. He was cheating on me so I took the opportunity and left him and filled for divorce.
He has been using the child maintenance money for the kids to have a level of control over me. He will not set up a standing order
so most of time he doesnt pay on time so I have to contact him as I need that money to pay the bills that are due 3 days later. He seems to love me having to beg for the money most months.
I absolutely hate it as because of this it means I need to contact him most months, I want nothing to do with him full stop. The kids are old enough to sort themselves out with him without me having to intervene. If it wasn’t for this I would have zero contact.
Last month he was 9 days late with the money so I was forced to borrow money from my sister and had no choice but to contact him as both DCs reminded him for me but he ignored them.
I then had to endure a load of abuse by messages, and he made me pretty much beg before he paid up. I cannot continue borrowing money from my family to subsidise his lateness in paying, so I now feel it’s time to go to the CMS as I can’t live like this anymore.
He’s also massively underpaying me to the tune of £160 per month. When he left we did a calculation and ended up settling on a lower amount as he refused to pay a penny more.
I will be honest I didn’t realise the amount on the calculation was the minimum amount, I assumed it was a recommended amount.
I’m going to start a claim with the CMS so he no longer has a hold over me but I’m terrified of how he’s going to react. If he doesn’t take it out on me I expect he will take it out on the DC by not seeing them to punish them.
Please tell me I’m making the right decision