Am I being 'one of those mums'?

[LittleTwiglet]

So yesterday we went to a friends house where my one and a half year old has rarely been and is also not used to her or her children as we don't see them often. It was just a quick nip in. So we all stood in the kitchen with me holding DC hand while she stood next to me. My friends 5 year old was wreaking havoc around the house, and had already been told to be nice to DC by my friend. He ended up in DCs face and not giving much space between them. He then pulled DCs dummy out her mouth making get upset. I just said for him to remember to be nice as DC is not used to other kids being so close and touchy. My friend then got annoyed and said her boy wasn't not being nice, even tho she had already warned him. So was I okay to re-say to be nice or was I out of order even though my DC was upset by it?

The 5 year old pulling the dummy out of your childs mouth was naughty! Your friend is being difficult by not liking you saying something to the child.

yanbu OP

@blacksax you took the words off of my fingers! It doesn’t sound as if you were rude to him and he shouldn’t have done it

@baubling

Is it your first baby? What the heck difference does that make? It doesn't matter whether the baby is the first or the tenth.

The 5-year-old had already been told to be nice, but then took the baby's dummy and made her upset, so they needed a reminder.

Sorry I totally think it does matter! Like plenty of pp have said, op may have view this kind of thing totally differently when she has an older child. Op says that her child has not had much interaction with other kids so she’s inexperienced in this kind of thing. That’s exactly why I asked and it is relevant. If she’d had an older child too then I think the situation is completely different.

The misbehaviour of someone else's child has no bearing on whether you have one child yourself or not. The OP was not being precious about her PFB at all.

Never said it did and never said op was being precious. Just saying which others have also said, that how you view a child’s behaviour when you don’t have one that age, you just have one much younger, can be v different to how you view those situations when you do have one that age. An inexperienced parent will view things differently to one who is more experienced in those situations. I never made a judgement as to who was BU

I think ‘be nice’ isn’t helpful in your example. ‘Stop it’ or ‘don’t do that’ or even just ‘give it back’ would have been better.

Your friend was being daft though.

@SantasDayOff

I think what you said was fine. She sounded tired.

Are you in Tier 1?

why does it matter what tier they're in? its not the corona section and has nothing to do with covid. do we really have to start prefacing our ops to say im a single parent and this is my bubble, im in tier 1/2/3, im exempt because of xyz? how about just commenting on the actual question and butt out the rest ffs

OP no id say not out of order to remind the child to be careful but probs should have not said be nice but it was nothing for the mum to get pissed about

He sounds like at brat, she obviously knows he is otherwise she would not have told him to behave. She just doesn't want to admit to people he's not well behaved.
Steer clear of them and meet up with your friends with nicer kids. X