My mum has cancer and I'm halfway across the world

[Fuckingfuckingfuckingfuck]

I don't know what to do. I just want to go home to her immediately but covid is getting bad again where I am, so I'd have to quarantine for 14 days. I don't know where I'd do that? Are people quarantining in hotels? Or do they get a short term rental?

We have to wait for more details, probably sometime next week. We don't even know exactly what the situation is yet, and I obviously didn't want to bombard her with questions but my mind is racing now. Is it normal to not get a more clear picture? The cancerous growth is in the pelvis region, so I'm guessing could be involvement with ovaries or uterus?

What should I be thinking of and what should I start trying to plan?

Anyone around for a handhold?

Sorry to hear this news

Is your mum in the uk?

I’m so sorry to hear this.💐 I’d wait to hear more details next week and then decide what to do.

Quarantine rules for people entering the UK are changing on December 15. There’s a summary on on Heathrow’s website: www. Heathrow.com.
You might be able to reduce it to five days if you book a private Covid test. Sorry I don’t know more details.

I’m so sorry. While this is frightening and upsetting news, you need to not panic yet. I have had friends and relations diagnosed with cancer, who were treated and survived, and others, sadly, who did not. But none of them went from diagnosis to death in less than 3 months, and often longer.

Now is not the time to be racing across the world in a panic. You need a diagnosis and a prognosis and then make proper plans.

I hope the news is better over the next few weeks 💐

So sorry to hear you're going through this. Thinking of you and your mum.

Its so difficult being far away. How long would the journey home be? like someone else said, the rules are changing soon and the quarantine time may be just 5 days including tests.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to stay calm. Until you know more there's not much you can do.

I've received bad news about both parents whilst living far from home, and I know your first instinct is to be with them ASAP. But right now is a kind of limbo stage. And it might be more crucial to keep thinking's like flights/annual leave for later on when you know more and there's a treatment plan etc.

Also, weirdly, you can quarantine in someone's house. But you need to basically just stay in your room. So you could go to her house and just keep to a specific room for the duration of your quarantine. Seems strange but it's true! So at least that would save you the cost of a hotel.

Hope this helps a little x

Thank you, it's really comforting to read your replies. I've messaged a couple of close mates but as it's so late there, they haven't seen it yet.

Yes, you're all right that I need to hold my nerve now and not rush. Need to wait and get the full picture.

Thank you all for making me feel less alone tonight I keep getting panic waves.

I would not race home now, unless you can stay there indefinitely/ work remotely. Wait to hear what the treatment plan is and plan around that.

news like this about your DM is as scary as f* without being half way around the world. COVID or not.

May I suggest to save rushing over and getting stuck in quarantine for 14 days. Hang on until your DM has a treatment plan - then think about it. If she needs surgery it might be helpful for you to come over to help her recuperate, especially if you can only stay a short time.

@Fuckingfuckingfuckingfuck

We have a thread running on life limiting illness called still the storm for people who's loved ones are going through this. We can't give you all the answers but can send virtual hugs and support.

So sorry you are going through this, the wait for answers is always the worst.

I can't stop crying. Have made a cup of tea and given up on sleep for now.

Don't know what to do. I just want to go home! I know my (wonderful) DP will be worried if I go, I have a chronic illness that makes me clinically vulnerable to covid.

But what if it does turn out to be the worst case scenario and I'm not there with her and am wasting precious time? That makes me almost frantic.

Fuck cancer.

A huge sympathy hug from me, OP.
My brother has terminal pancreatic cancer. His youngest child is 8, eldest is 16. It is just utter shit. He's in the States. I'm here.
Covid is so bad where he is. He's going back into lockdown in California.

I can't believe my brother could die before I get a chance to see him again. I can't believe this is happening. Cancer is the devil's work. Fuck it and the horse it rode in on. You have to dig deep to find peace and it's just an Everest climb at times. Your mum will absolutely feel your love and support from afar. Once she has a treatment plan and you know the lay of the land, you can make plans to see her.
Where's home/mum?

Thank you. I am so sorry you are going through this too. I am so sorry for all of us in this situation.

I want to send flowers today. Is that fine or is that unwise - could they be a covid danger? My first thought is no they wouldn't be but I don't want to do anything risky?

Hi OP if you look at Bloom and Wild website they do "letterbox flowers", ie a specially packed bouquet flatpacked in a slim box. Once in water they open out into the most gorgeous flowers. I got some for my birthday over a fortnight ago and they still look really fresh. As the name implies, they go through the letter box! No contact with delivery person. Maybe something like this? Sending for you too.

Oh that's an amazing idea! Letterbox flowers! This is why I love MN, thank you very much!

Is it a country you can even get into, OP? I thought Australia & NZ were especially hard to enter right now.