Sleep consultant success when baby falls asleep ok

[LetTheBirdsSing]

Posting here for traffic as I’m desperate. I have a nine month old baby who can fall asleep in his cot independently. At bedtime he’s given a bottle of milk and put down awake. For naps he’s just put in his sleeping bag and put down awake.

Will quite often do a decent first stretch but then wakes up at anything from 10pm to 3am. Has a bottle of milk and will quite often be put down without tears but start crying anything from 5 mins to an hour later. He can then be up for 2-3 hours and I just can’t settle him off to sleep any sooner. Often wriggles around in my arms if I try to hold him but will scream if I put him back in the cot. Often seems quite ‘wired’ and will coo to himself or blow bubbles after a while.

The last few nights he’s finally fallen back asleep between 5 and 5:30am, but then is wide awake by 6:30am latest.

I cannot sustain this physically or mentally. I also have a 2 year old who is up for the day from 6am onwards and doesn’t nap so I have no opportunity to rest during the day.

Does anyone have any success stories of using a sleep consultant to deal with long night wakings if it wasn’t linked to the baby not being able to fall asleep independently at the beginning of the night?

Baby has been fully formula fed for the last two months. Doing fine with solids. Has been crawling since six months and probably not far off walking. Has a morning nap of 1-1.5 hours at 9am and a similar length nap at 2pm. Perhaps I need to cap the afternoon nap?

Bedtime routine starts at 6:15pm and he is usually asleep just before 7pm. I’m a bit limited on being able to make bedtime later as the 2 year old is most definitely ready for bed by then.

I am not open to bed sharing with the baby, for various reasons. Just mentioning that as I know it works for lots of people and might be suggested.

Thanks, @Indecisivelurcher that’s good to know. Don’t suppose you remember what intervals you would go in at- was it the same time gap every time or would you increase how long you would wait before going in each time eg 2min, 4min, 6min. Would you just pop in the room quickly for brief reassurance or would you stay each time until the baby calmed down?

This is my 9 month daughter! I have put it down to the 8 month sleep regression as it has been going on for a few weeks. I just keep doing my Ferber sleep training tactics. Going in, smooth for 30 seconds and then leave and wait 10 minutes. It seems to be working after having about 3 weeks of rough sleep but that maybe that she is just (hopefully 🤞🏻) coming out the other side of the regression.

@LetTheBirdsSing I did cc and we did 3, 5, 5 I didn't want to increase it any more than that. Stayed in a maximum of 2M reassuring stroking, pulling funny back in and then left the room. I'm sure I even gave a cuddle once not that thats recommended. Thankfully I would say we did 3, 3 x5 min at its worst and after a few nights we don't hear a peep. He's so much happier in the morning as am I! I did say I would never do cc but I couldn't take it any longer.

Dummy not funny

I should have also said this was 7months ago now and we have had the odd blip when teething, cold ect but he's always gone back to sleeping well when he's better

@LetTheBirdsSing we used the interval checks specified in the ferber method, should come up on an Internet search. I wrote them on a pad. We did not stay until he settled, 30 seconds or a minute to just check they're OK. Personally I think the checks are now for the parent than the child! To reassure you that they're OK! It's not your job to get them back to sleep, it's your job to support them to do it themselves.

I have and still am going through this. It’s unbelievably tough and you need to do what is right for you and your family. The only thing I’ve noticed in discussions about sleep training is that people often overlook the baby’s need for comfort and physical touch. I think that is equally important to other reasons like pain, wet nappy, hunger etc because it’s about their mental well being. But it’s often missed out when people trouble shoot what the issue might be or it’s not given as much value. At the end of the day, trust your instincts for your situation and I hope it gets easier for you. Sending solidarity in the meantime.

I don’t see why sleep training would work here. Your baby is perfectly able to fall asleep by himself, so there must be another reason he isn’t - it’s not because he can’t.

Either he just isn’t tired (in which case try adjusting naps as mooncakes suggested) or he’s bothered by something - teething maybe, developmental leap, clingy phase. How is he when he wakes, happy or upset? How is he in the day, extra clingy or dribbly? Any clues? Have you tried calpol when he won’t go back to sleep and if so has that helped as that may suggest teething/other discomfort?

@LetTheBirdsSing I had this with my little one. He was simply too cold! Could self settle and was a dream at bedtime, but awake during the night and I started to feed as I though he was hungry. Followed a sleep guide, Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall, and haven't looked back.
It's not for everyone, and the Facebook group and push to buy only her blankets etc can be a bit full on, but ultimately having more layers worked (and seemed to make sense). She also states that babies that roll to their tummies is a sign they're cold.

Good luck, sleep deprivation is hard

For us i am convinced early bedtime and daytime routine were key. The 'sleep training' was more about us not fueling the wake up by going in and trying to settle him back to sleep. The controlled crying we did, well when it came down to it, it actually never came to much crying at all. I was really quite surprised.

We also discovered that he slept better warmer, with more layers than usually recommended. I got a sleeping bag with sleeves.

@JumpingJamboree ooh fingers crossed that you do indeed come out of the other side of this very soon!

@2018isanewyear I used to inwardly be very judgemental about controlled crying if I’m honest. Not anymore. I feel really physically and mentally broken.

@SweetMeadow really hope that things ease up for you soon too

@minipie he’s very happy during the day. Is chewing on anything he can get his hands on but that’s been the case for the last six months! He has a tooth on its way but we’ve had these long wake ups even when we give calpol when he first wakes up. I remember with my eldest never being sure if it was teeth bothering him at night. No red cheeks or grotty nappies at the moment which is what tends to happen when teething is at its worst

@headshoulderskneesandtoe room is definitely on the warmer side even in the early hours so I’m confident it’s not a temperature issue but that’s brilliant that you were able to resolve things so quickly!

Watching this thread for tips! My DS is 8 months a rubbish sleeper at the moment I've got a 2 year old as well!

Mine naps at 10am for an hour and then 1pm for either an hour or two! Goes down at 7pm he usually wakes between 11 and 1am I give him a bottle and then sometimes he'll sleep till morning 6.30/7 or like last night he'll wake again at 3am hahaha no two nights seem to be the same at the moment. I do know he's teething tho and having lots of milestones so hang in there may all change in the next few weeks!

I'll be watching this for any advice tho as I am shattered!!

Hi lovely
I posted on your other thread. My baby was the same- could go to sleep alone but couldn't stay alseep! I kept posting on MN an it sent menintona complete spiral - my head was buzzing from 'shorten his naps, lengthen his naps, put him on formula, cosleep, cry it out, more clothes, fewer clothes total darkness, night light'etc etc.
So we paid £220 for a sleep consultant. Best money I've ever spent. It drowned out all the other noise and I just focused on what she told me to do. Ours came round first, had a look at his bedroom etc and we had to fill in a diary for a week of feeds, meals and sleep patterns.

He was sleeping through within 3 weeks. I wouldnt hesitate it I were you xx

I would try cutting down on naps, my eldest (excellent napper) would nap at 1200 for 90mins but my youngest would have only been 20mins or so by that point. So you just have one that doesn’t need as many naps!