Difficult situation re. Boys in ds's class taking and selling drugs WWYD

[SoThisIsItMerryBloodyChristmas]

My ds (15yrs) has told me that three boys in his class ( 'naice' ha bloody ha grammar school) are regularly smoking weed - I'm not too concerned about that, that's their own stupid business. He has now told me that one boys sells weed to the others and another one is selling jellies (whatever those are, ds thought sweets containing weed?!) on Snapchat to his friends. He has told me the boys' names.

Part of me thinks I must tell the school what is going on.

Another large part of me does not trust the school not to pull my ds out of lessons to interrogate him about what he knows. DS would never forgive me if this happened as he will be vilified by his class mates.

I did wonder if I could contact the school anonymously?

WWYD?

I'd tell them, and make it perfectly clear that all hell will break loose if your son is identified. Anonymously may not hold much water, especially if there are already rumours.

I'd try and tell them anonymously.

If you're sure your ds is telling the truth and is not mistaken then yes, tell school. You don't need to bring your ds into it, just tell school that you have been made aware of this information and are sharing it in the interests of safeguarding. School could very well already have similar information from other sources as kids gossip and staff have ears.

As it is just weed, your ds isn't involved, and he has been open with you about it, I would be inclined to just leave it tbh.

Jellies in the 90's was the name for temazepam or other tranquillisers. Could be fake valium, which has been a big problem is Scotland and apparently moving

down South. Problem with this is it's not just that it's usually etizolam, but with illegally manufactured pills the dose strength is all over the place, so can lead to fatalities.

Hmmm. I’ll try and find out more about the jellies thing. I’m thinking over about approaching school. Still undecided. If it blows back on ds I’ll regret it, if I say nothing, well that’s just shit too.

Same x

Unfortunately, I think this is part and parcel of being in a school. I'm guessing by "jellies" your DS means weed edibles, this is a very common thing to sell particularly on Snapchat. Drug use isn't great (I'm anti-drugs so nobody jump on me!) but ultimately I think this is out of yours and the school's control.

Give them the information anonymously is possible and talk to your son about drug use and the consequences, but I think that's all you can really expect unless there have been witnesses to these boys dealing on school grounds. "Naice" schools aren't exempt, unfortunately!

I do think they are dealing on school grounds from what ds says. I trust him and don’t think he would lie about this. He has no reason to even bring it up except for it bothering him. I agree the stuff on Snapchat is out of school control but I can guess where stuff gets handed over as lots of the boys come from all over the place and won’t necessarily be living close to each other.
As a parent I’d want to know if my child had started dealing drugs (even if this is fairly low level stuff) so that I could step in. I don’t know the parents and wouldn’t approach it that way anyway as there would definitely be no anonymity for my son!

Having said all that, I know this shit goes on everywhere - the more money the kids have the more prevalent it seems to be! It’s a really odd position to be in. I know what the ‘right’ thing to do is but my ds is always my top priority.

Having said all that, I know this shit goes on everywhere - the more money the kids have the more prevalent it seems to be

Yes, I went to a faaancy private school where there was an abundance of drug use (including stealing and hotboxing school buses, very outing example!) whereas my partner went to a public school and the worst thing they dealed was Lucozade!
It's great to hear your DS is against drug use and feels comfortable talking to you about this though - that shows a good relationship.

Is there a head of pastoral care you could speak to? I wouldn't go immediately to the Head teacher or anything along those lines as I think that would lead to disciplinary measures very quickly, which would make keeping your DS anonymous potentially more difficult (just a guess). What would the consequences for your DS be if it came back to bite him? I think that would probably be the calling card if I were in this position.

(e.g. if it were a bit of embarrassment / discomfort I might speak to the school and try and manage the fallout personally with some treats or nice things to lessen the blowback, but if it put him at any kind of physical risk or extreme ostracization I don't think I could personally make that choice)

When we lived in London there was a dedicated copper assigned to the secondary schools. If you go online you may find something similar in your area (or PCSO?). That might be a way forward as ours was an intermediary for anti-social behaviour issues and general advice sessions. I can understand why you are hesitant as you could lose your son's trust over this and cause a backlash at the school. Good luck.

If I was going to speak to anyone it would be the head of pastoral care. I know her already and she's good at her job but the school has form for not being the most sensitive when trying to get the bottom of an issue eg pulling boys out of class to talk to them about it (thus identifying them as the 'snitch'!)

I wouldn't risk it if you think the school won't handle this anonymously. It's not your DSs responsibility.

If there is a suspicion that illegal drugs are being peddled at the school, it's a police matter above all else.

You should tell the school-anonymously. Just phone and leave a message with the office. I’ve done it for a few different issues and things have been resolved, including drugs.