Cried in front of toddler

[Lockdowns2020]

Can I rectify this, is it ok for adults to show their emotions etc as I've read here before or will it be damaging for my 2 year old?

Have a week old baby and felt like we'd been doing really well but just had a really tough day as can't put cluster feeding baby down, feel so isolated and don't care for me but for my beautiful toddler who doesn't get a chance to play with other children anymore. Trying to find something healthy to eat in the cupboard that she will actually eat and found out DH will be back late tonight (not annoyed, not a problem in itself at all only I thought he'd be back sooner and suddenly the idea of it being any longer just made me burst into tears) I have been sobbing and my poor DD noticed and now I just feel awful

She's not in any childcare at the moment and I miss toddler groups etc so so much again not for me but for her. I feel like I'm not providing enough stimulation although we go outside loads and it's only going to get harder over next few months. I just feel so guilty and frazzled and I don't know what to do. I love her so much and feel like the last few months I've just let her down so badly at a key point in her life by not having her in nursery but it's unavoidable as we can't afford it now. She's at preschool next year though.

What do I say now to rectify this situation? She's not upset just watching tv (too much screen time over last few days too)

She’s fine. You’ll be fine too. It’s good for her to know everyone cries and has a hard time, and gradually picks themselves back up with a bit of help and a hug.

It's completely normal to show emotions. I intend to raise my DD with her knowing sometimes we all get sad, or happy, or grumpy, just like she does.

I remember seeing my parent cry for the first time at around 13 and it was absolutely heartbreaking, because I thought it wasn't normal.

I think as long as she’s warm, fed and cuddled she’ll be just fine (same goes for new baby!). It’ll get better, you’re doing great.

You don't need to rectify anything - it's so so important for toddlers to see that it's okay to have emotions both bad and good and to feel sad or cross or whatever

Think about it like this , can you remember anything from when you were two?

Look , of course sustained extreme emotion can unsettle DC but the odd moment won't damage them , actually when they older depending on the situation it doesn't hurt to see normal levels of human emotion.

You sound really like you are struggling and no flipping wonder it's a bloody hard time with a toddler and a newborn. You haven't let her down. Life happens and children have no concept of what should have been (I'm excluding abuse situations this clearly isn't it). I strongly suspect this is more harming you than her.

I wouldn't try to rectify it ,it will place greater emphasis on it. Give her a big cuddle and settle down for whatever your normal evening is.

I honestly feel for you ,exdh could tell me he was stuck in traffic and at times it could result in a weeping fit in my bedroom. We all try to limit what our children see in the downtimes but don't panic , it will not have scarred her I promise.

Plus despite what MN occasionally has you believe a bit if extra screen time will not hurt her over a few days if you are struggling.

Who do you have to support you ? It's a really tough time this age and even tougher at the moment. A week old baby , a 2 year old and a pandemic, yeah if you are upright and they are in one piece you are doing brilliantly.

Try to be a bit kinder to yourself. (I know that is very much easier said than done )

Thank you all. We've moved on! Nearly bath time anyway! I felt like we were doing really well and everything was in hand but it's just fallen apart a bit today and I know that's because the sleepy newborn bit will gradually get less.

No support really, can't form a bubble for under 1s as the only people I could bubble with are already in one. We just go to playgrounds a lot where DD hopefully hovers around other children until sometimes one plays with her, it breaks my heart how keen she is to play. We used to have so many play dates and go to so many groups and she looks so happy in all the pictures I have pre March. But then, she looks really happy in all the photos since too 😊 so I'm sure I'm overthinking it

No crying again and think I've been doing quite well but feeling very low again after a busy morning. Got toddler out to her activity outside and got home and walked dog, going to do housework after I've finished feeding the baby but feeling very low and lonely again and can't get excited about Christmas etc at all, normally I love it

Is this normal? I remember being very tired but very happy first time round but I was in an NCT group and we met all the time whereas I feel quite isolated this time I suppose.

You have a week old baby give yourself a break xxx