How much allowance for 12 year old?

[Jimbellselmbath]

Hello, I have 13yo with very expensive taste. No value of money whatsoever and is spoilt absolutely rotten by Dad. Talking multiple £500 coats per year, wardrobes filled with designer things still with tags on and now outgrown etc.
This cannot continue.
I was thinking we could try giving her an allowance each month and she buys all her clothes/McDonald's with friends etc with it. Any extras would need earning through chores or saving birthday money etc. See how designer she goes then.
But how much to give?
I pay £12 pm on a rolling sim contract and will still buy toiletries/school dinners/ uniforms etc.
Is £60 pm stingy? For clothes/ extras/new trainers? I put a lot on eBay a couple of times a year so would also be willing to give her any profit back from things she has bought herself.
She has asked for money for Christmas and younger sister has a list coming to around £200 so I would give her the same amount in her bank. Dh wants to get her a new iphone-£1000, its just not fair is it? She should be working for that. I have a 6 year old phone and Primark clothes head to toe and it's really irritating me now what she gets handed on a plate.

Sorry it is long- so £60? Any flaws in this plan? Haha thanks for reading if you got this far!

12 year old DS gets £5 a week as standard, increases to £10 sometimes if he’s been extra helpful! He is free to either save or spend it on whatever he wants.

I buy most clothes/shoes he needs, if there’s something particular he wants but doesn’t need he uses his own money. He does have some very generous family members who give him money for Christmas and birthday so has quite a lot to spend at times

Sorry, are you married to this man who's buying yout DD Belstaff jackets whilst you wear Primark? You live in the same house?

If so, I think her allowance is the least of your worries.

My 14 yr old DD has her contract phone paid for £25 a month and gets around £40-50 a month extra in spending money depending on what chores etc she has helped out with on a given month. She isn't expected to pay for anything she "needs" out of that money - it's purely for things she fancies. So obviously if there's a need for new clothes / shoes, I pay for those on top.

As to your original question my 12 year-old has her phone contact paid for and gets £11 a week, 13 year-old ds has his phone paid for and gets £13 a week. They can earn extra. I buy all of their clothes.

Yes I have access to my own money, I prefer to save but then the savings end up going on family holidays, family dogs etc. anyway. He is not tight at all, very generous with his money, he would be happy to buy me designer and dc2 too but we are not interested at all. We prefer experiences out whereas dh and dd are very materialistic

Yes, correct.

Both have been saving their money for the last two months to buy Christmas gifts.

@MoMoxX

Hey,

I’m Mum or two boys aged 7 & 14, both get £40 allowance/pocket money a week, only due to the fact that both are so well behaved.

No offence but if my boys were anything like your daughter, they wouldn’t get anything at all.

No value of money whatsoever and is spoilt absolutely rotten by Dad

What does a 7 year old (or even a 14 year old) spend £40 a week on? Are they expected to buy essentials/pay for clubs etc. out of this?

What does a 7 year old (or even a 14 year old) spend £40 a week on? Are they expected to buy essentials/pay for clubs etc. out of this?

Sometimes they don’t even spend the money, sometimes they will spend half or a small percentage of it, on the odd occasion DS2 will spend the whole of it on a video game.

I would never ask them to pay for their own essentials, I am just trying to teach them to how to budget, I don’t see £40 as a lot of money, but DS2 certainly does, he will always me if it’s ok when he wants to spend half or even the whole of it.

Most of their friends are overly spoilt, I refuse to follow suit.

£5 a week here, but we pay for phone contract, clothes, travel, hobbies etc.

She uses her pocket money for sweets, hot chocolate and saving up for extra things for her hobbies that aren’t necessary but are nice to have. She also bought her own phone, when my old phone grew annoyingly slow - she saved up and we helped her find a good deal on a reconditioned phone on eBay.

I would sell all the designer gear that she's outgrown/unworn and use that money to buy her new things. Don't use any more of your own money on her now, get the old clothes to pay for her new.

My DD11 gets £50pm to spend how she chooses. We will buy all essential clothes - jackets, shoes, uniform and basic Leisure wear. She buys anything over and above this. In practice she likes to spend her money on bedding, soft furnishings, clothes and games. We often negotiate on ‘going halves’ on things as they arise as she is very practical in her spending (buys socks, underwear, bedding). She’s had this in place since she was 10 and it works very well for us and her. She also gets money for birthdays and Christmas that she uses as well. We just stick it all on her pre-pay card and she can manage it.

She doesn’t really socialise at the moment but when she starts to I will up the amount so she can go for food and drinks - perhaps to £80 per month.

Mine(14&15) get £20 a month each basic and £20 a month each extra if they do their chores.

@MoMoxX

What does a 7 year old (or even a 14 year old) spend £40 a week on? Are they expected to buy essentials/pay for clubs etc. out of this?

Sometimes they don’t even spend the money, sometimes they will spend half or a small percentage of it, on the odd occasion DS2 will spend the whole of it on a video game.

I would never ask them to pay for their own essentials, I am just trying to teach them to how to budget, I don’t see £40 as a lot of money, but DS2 certainly does, he will always me if it’s ok when he wants to spend half or even the whole of it.

Most of their friends are overly spoilt, I refuse to follow suit.

£40 a week is spoilt. Most kids I know don't even get that per month!

Late to the thread, but the hill I will die upon is this - chores don't attract payment. Chores are part of sharing a house with other people. No-one's paying me for cooking and cleaning in my own house, why on god's green earth should I pay my child to pick up their shit and contribute to the running of the home in which they live?

Call me stingy, but my 12 year old gets £5 a MONTH and is more than happy with it. We obviously pay for clothes, toiletries and phone contract. Can’t think why they would need some of the amounts mentioned upthread.

@Blownaway22

Call me stingy, but my 12 year old gets £5 a MONTH and is more than happy with it. We obviously pay for clothes, toiletries and phone contract. Can’t think why they would need some of the amounts mentioned upthread.

He might be a bit young yet (and Covid has not helped) but £5 a month won't be enough once he starts socialising more.

My DD is very careful with her money but (for example) in the last week she's spent £10 on Christmas presents for friends (£2 each for 5 friends) and some money getting takeaway McDonalds (so she could sit and eat it in the park with friends). And in normal times she'd be going to the cinema occasionally etc.