For all those scared of the dentist

[kinsi]

Due to some complex trauma I was too scared to go to the dentist for 12 years, and about 4 years ago finally found the courage even though I was scared witless.

My teeth started getting really gappy due to some bone loss (despite cleaning them daily it wasn't enough to get the plaque etc and needed a professional clean which I was too scared of) and I had one broken tooth that was root only. I thought all of them would need pulling out, it was mental hell. It affected all my relationships and cut me off socially when I needed support but was too scared to talk about it with anyone.

When I finally plucked up the courage (after some NHS therapy) all the dentist said that was I needed a couple of fillings, a good clean etc. That I could get my teeth orthodontically corrected. I saved and saved and got surgery to remove the retained broken root tooth and a compacted wisdom tooth. And then I got orthodontic surgery to correct the gaps. I have just completed the final part of my treatment which is a dental implant for the missing tooth. I don't have a gap any more!

All this has taken about 3-4 or so years but my teeth are in better shape than they have been in years and I feel this is the final part of work I needed doing. It wasn't all cheap but I have spread the cost over a few years and paid bit by bit, so it's not unachievable (I am not rich!).

If you're scared of the dentist, please don't be. Talk to your GP, they can prescribe CBT therapy, and some diazepam for before appointments if you need it.

I am now fastidious with my teeth routine and never ever miss a dental appointment. It has changed my life and I now wonder why I ever was scared. So please get support and know that nothing is too difficult to fix. I feel I have reached the final milestone of my awful journey and am starting a new life now with nice teeth!

Beautiful post, encouraging for others. Glad you got great treatment and are happy

Thanks for posting. I need a crown but have been too scared and have been using covid as an excuse. I really ought to ask my GP for more diazepam (tried on 6mg last time but it wasn’t enough!) and give it another go. I’ll need to save up first though as they want payment up front... I’m going to try though.

Thanks for this post. I haven't been since I was 18, which is now 12 years ago.

To be fair, I do take good care of my teeth and they look fine to me at the moment, but the longer I leave it (I should book a checkup!) the worse it gets, and I know that realistically I can't avoid it forever.

Sigh.

Thanks everyone. One solution that helped me @lindaellen and @howmanysleepsnow was finding the very first step that I could do, for me that was to speak to my GP for therapy, or find out dental surgeries local to me, then the next step would be to call them and say I'm a nervous patient, see how it went. If you say you're nervous (which they are very used to) they will be extra nice with any luck and treat you with kid gloves. Just doing the small stuff around the edge helps you get closer to the more scary stuff and helps your brain to prepare for it. And also remember there will likely be a lot worse cases than you out there also.

OP you have just described me. I haven’t been to the dentist for 12 years either. I’m absolutely terrified. I know they’ll want to do x-rays and I just can’t. That huge metal thing they use is just barbaric! Makes me feel like I’m going to be sick and I just panic. I know I need some fillings, but even the thought of going makes me feel panicky.

Well done, I bet you look and feel great!

They dont use that anymore @Mumtumwobble
That huge metal frame thing. Mine have had smaller plastic ones for ages now and its adjustable so they can angle it to stop it digging in so much.

Oh that's a good story, nice to hear you're happy with the result.

Great post, OP. Good for you!

Really encouraging post OP, thank you. I have a check up booked for the 15th due to a niggling throbbing in one side of my mouth. I'm absolutely terrified of the dentist so put off going and problems just get worse. I need a good deep clean and probably a hell of a lot more than that, I'm terrified that they are going to tell me that my tooth needs to come out! I'm starting to get a bit more pain with the throbbing now so I'm panicking that it's going to get excruciating and I won't be able to manage the pain until my appointment.

Did you tell your dentist you had taken diazepam before your appointment? (if that was you, it might have been another poster that mentioned that?) I have read on some previous threads from dentists that they won't do any treatment on someone who had taken pills before hand?

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut thank you so much. I had no idea they’d got rid of the metal monstrosities. That makes me feel so much better. The last time I went the dentist was insistent I had the x-ray. I can still remember the panic.

My DS has just qualified as a dentist and I can tell you that they do a lot of training as to how to deal with nervous patients (and the training is ongoing in this first year of practice), so hopefully that understanding is there within the profession and the younger dentists are much more atuned to how patients are feeling and have been taught how to reassure and be empathetic.

I wasnt as lucky as you with the leaving it years before seeing anyone. So lovely post but defo go as soon as possible.
When I eventually went, I found a lovely dentist who specialised in nervous patients, and was able to give me sedation for all the work that needed doing. Even fillings I had intravenous sedation.
I'm ok with going now but I so wished I had done so alot sooner and I wouldn't be missing 5 teeth in my forties.

Thank you for sharing OP, so lovely to read about your journey and how far you've come. x

@kinsi I’m registered and managed the small stuff. I’m just stuck at the next hurdle. I think they described what they were going to do in too much detail- I cried, couldn’t stop shaking and left mid appointment.
Hopefully you’ve inspired me to contact my gp on Monday for a bigger diazepam prescription (though I can’t afford the dentist yet, so maybe I should save up first?)

Also ask around for a recommendation, some dentists have a much nicer manner than others.

@howmanysleepsnow I'm glad you've made the first step! you've been so brave! could you make a payment plan with the dentist? I wouldn't put it off long if you possibly can, it may avoid extra treatment to do it sooner. Also the longer you wait the more scared you will be! If you can get any pointers on how to stay calm in difficult situations that might help, e.g. CBT or similar. All I would say is it's never as bad as you think it's going to be.

@grool I don't think I did tell them but can't remember TBH - may have. I only took a half tablet and that was enough for me. However maybe chat with your dentist if you're worried. I am guesssing their concern might be would be that you would be so whacked out you fall asleep or do something to endanger yourself whilst they are carrying out dental work? Maybe find a dentist online in advance that you can ask on an anonymous forum if you're worried?

Best of luck everyone!

@grool and don't panic too much. I over-worried so much that I thought all my teeth would need pulling out but when I went it was so much less bad than I thought. I still have a little pre-dentist panic but now I've just come to peace a bit with it and am a bit more blase. I've now spent so much time having treatment it doesn't scare me any more.

@Mumtumwobble, please try to be calm. You will be fine. Remember the longer you leave it the more scary it is, and it's unlikely to be as bad as you think it's going to be. Ask your GP for some support or CBT and / or diazepam. The important thing is to talk about your fears then that helps you to deal with them and makes it less scary. It's part of the process of getting through it.

Mmmm there's no way I could have gone through with all you have I don't think
My dentist referred me to a specialist who specialises in people who are nervous or with disabilities or children or special needs etc etc. It was still nhs so had to wait some months. It was for a tooth I needed out although thankfully it hadn't got to the stage where it hurt. (Could have had root canal but no way was I doing that/capable of doing that)
My dentist said he could refer me to a specialist who did sedation if I wanted I said yes. I went to this dentist who specialised in nervous people and we built up to it and built up to it in numerous appointments (and I cried). In the end though she didn't offer sedation. If I had needed and wanted that she'd have had to refer me to someone else.
But I managed to do it with her but it's a completely different experience to a normal dentist. It was still traumatic but that dentist is amazing. I credit her with the fact that I was able to do it. I still dread going back
I dread the day that I can't use her because apparently they don't keep you long term