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Original poster

Not coping with baby & 3yo

10 replies

Wingingthis · 04/12/2020 20:00

This time last year I felt like a good parent, could cope perfectly fine with the terrible twos, worked part time and was happy.
I am now just so tired. I keep shouting at my 3yo which I’ve never done before in her life. She is such a hard work, still doesn’t sleep through. Says no to everything. Tantrums constantly. Preschool closed due to COVID and we’re in tier 3.
Baby is a dream baby, so easy but breasted and doesn’t sleep through yet. DH away mon - fri for work. I’m just not coping - the house is a state, the laundry never gets done. DH lost his job due to COVID so is now on a lower pay so we are struggling financially. I am just exhausted :(

OP posts:

Original poster

Wingingthis · 04/12/2020 20:01

Also find myself on my phone a lot which I feel awful about. I have no motivation. Unsure what to do with 3yo to entertain her as any craft/baking etc activity the baby just wants to crawl and eat everything!!

OP posts:

OhToBeASeahorse · 04/12/2020 20:05

Hi I have no advice but sympathies and solidarity. I have a 2 and a bit year old and an 8 week old. I'm similarly exhausted. I just keep telling myself it will get better with no proof that is true.

Original poster

Wingingthis · 04/12/2020 20:07

Sad to hear you’re feeling the same but reassuring to know I’m not the only one. It’s so hard :( this year has made it so much harder with everything that has gone on. I often wonder if I’d feel like this if COVID never happened?

OP posts:

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Ohwhocares22 · 04/12/2020 20:08

This was me 6 months ago. My 3yo is now 4 and goes to school and its still very tough but definitely easier than it was. It really does get better. A lot of TV was watched here

TotoroPotoro · 04/12/2020 20:12

Its SUCH a hard time! I've found crafts like these really good for entertaining older DC. They don't make any mess and can't be eaten by a baby.

www.amazon.co.uk/Galt-Toys-Water-Magic-Farm/dp/B082QHR463?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

www.amazon.co.uk/Dinosaurs-Magic-Painting-Book-Bowman/dp/1474933424?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Mine watched A LOT of tv at this point. I think it's mostly about survival. It absolutely does get better. You just have to survive it. I like the 'everyone fed, no one dead' mantra.

The house can be cleaned later.

swmumof2 · 04/12/2020 20:13

You are most definitely tely not alone.

I have a just turned 3 year old, I'm in tier 3, 3 year old doesn't start nursery until Jan, I have a CLINGY 8 MONTH OLD!! and I'm now back to work part time too working from home. Child care is a struggle because not a chance could I get anything done with my 2 at home.

3 year old is a lunatic some days. The house is trashed in 30 seconds flat. I feel your pain. I also was diagnosed with post natal depression when my youngest was 2-3 months old. This year has been hard. Real hard.

I miss soft plays where my 3 year old could run riot and I miss seeing all my family and visiting all their homes every other dya to get out so the house stayed tidyish for at least a day 🤣

I really feel your pain. Its so exhausting and everyone needs a break once in a while 🙁

Twospaniels · 04/12/2020 20:14

@Wingingthis

This was me years ago too, and I am ashamed of how much I shouted at my 2.5 yr old. It upsets me a lot now that I was like that. Kids are 26 and 23 now and are such lovely people and best friends with each other. In non covid times we 3 do a lot together, shopping, spas, etc.

It does get easier. Do you have anyone who can have the toddler for a few hours? Parents or siblings?

At the end of the day if they are both fed and have clean napies / pants then that is all that matters.

Sending you 💐

Oh and don’t get a puppy, that really didn’t help

Gutted2day · 04/12/2020 20:16

Bless you don't be too hard on yourself it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. It's a bit crap but try to think it won't always be like this, its has been a tough year but your children are loved and safe so be kind to yourself. If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel like this. Your motivation will come back to you in some form and if it does get any worse do talk to someone whether its GP/family/friends. I can assure you there are many like us out there (including myself hiding in the bath from my kids on my phone right now!)

CurlsandCurves · 04/12/2020 20:26

I’m a good few years away from this time now, but jeez I’ll never forget how bloody hard and relentless it is. You’re a good mum doing the best you can, it really is tough, specially as you’re on your own during the week.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. If you are getting through each day with everyone fed, changed clean etc, then that’s a huge win.

smeerf · 04/12/2020 20:58

I've had probably the hardest day as a parent today. My 2y9m old has been in and out of hospital this last month - he's not ill, just manic and clumsy. He's acting out about his 6mo brother and is just so disobedient and violent and infuriating. We spent yet another day in the hospital today getting his cast off and he was just terrible.

He's in nursery 3 days a week but two of them I'm working and I'm just so overwhelmed.

My SIL and BIL just video called us from a swanky hotel, they eloped today. We're supposed to be getting married but everything's been on hold as we're barely keeping our heads above water. I'm so happy for them but just feeling so sorry for myself.

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