Wwyd - other mums choice re. Car seat

[WingingIt101]

Hi all

I have a lovely group of friends that I met through antenatal classes, our babies are all coming up to their first birthday and so we’ve really relied on each other a lot this year as new mums in the pandemic where other support has been very limited.

One of the mums is a bit away with the fairies - lovely lady and adores her baby as we all do but frequently seems to lack awareness of common sense things and/or fairly well publicised guidance. Examples include not being aware of weaning information such as foods to avoid etc, often leaves home and goes out for the whole day walking, forgetting nappies or some other essential.

My usual stance is to keep your nose out of how other people parent - there are different ways of doing it and I’m new to it too; there’s no reason to be judgy. However today... she’s sent us a photo of her baby in their car seat wearing their big puffy pram suit. It’s my understanding this is dangerous as it reduces the impact of the seat straps in a crash but I might be wrong.

My wwyd is would you say anything to her.
It will absolutely be that she’s not seen or heard this guidance and would be mortified to think she was putting her baby at risk, but to point it out feels judgemental and frankly that I’m poking my nose in. But it bothers me - I need to butt out don’t I?!

Wwyd - say something or not?

It depends on how she takes stuff like this. If.you privately message her is she likely to take offence or be grateful?

Maybe worth saying. Or if you can get a leaflet on it which you can give her then it might sound better. (Like it,s not just you being oppinionated).

This is the thing - I really don’t want to be the person who pokes their nose in and offends! I don’t think I’d even know how to say it - I’m prob massively overthinking it all 🤦‍♀️

Why don't you word it so it looks like you're asking for her advice?

Something along the lines of: Hi Dozy Mum, I saw the really cute pic of your baby in her car seat wearing her gorgeous pram suit. I've just bought something similar for my baby, but wasn't sure on the guidelines for babies wearing them in their car seat, have you got them to send to me so I can make sure I do it right?

That should hopefully open a conversation and you can both come to the conclusion 'together' that it's a batshit idea.

I sent a news link on children wearing large oversized coats in car seats to my friends - they all thanked me and several started making DC remove jacket (kept a blanket in the car) Have a google for a news article on the subject and share it with a 'gosh I didn't know that!' Comment

I'd say something in a private message.

I think it’s tricky. My SIL is always sending pics of her baby doing things not in compliance with guidelines (sitting upright in pram at 4 weeks old, forward facing in sling at same age etc). I didn’t say anything because I know she wouldn’t take it well, though I had a real internal struggle about it as obviously the baby was potentially being harmed and I’m not sure I made the right choice. I think maybe depends on how she’d take it - if she’d be grateful then definitely mention it to her. You can always apologise if it comes across as interfering at the same time.

Thanks everyone - I’d donned my hard hat prepared to be told I was an interfering know it all 😂 reassured that hasn’t happened so far!

I like the idea of sharing the link and playing a bit dumb!

I'd be offended and embarrassed and then take the advice lol. Too important not to say anything

Say something privately!! Honestly this is serious. More serious than foods baby eats (that's being cautious)

Saw an article a few years ago of a mother who had posted a picture of her baby in the car seat and someone warned her the straps weren't done properly. A few days later they had an accident! And baby was perfectly fine!