Christmas Day by myself - will I regret it?

[Imposter58]

Hi all, interested in views on/experiences of the following as have been mulling over but still haven't come to a decision. NC for this.

For some long, boring, complicated family/sick pet/Covid reasons, I have the chance to spend Christmas Day by myself - or I have also been invited to a couple of friends' places for the day.

I am in two minds. This year has exhausted me for various reasons. And right now, the thought of spending Christmas Day by myself reading/eating/watching boxsets seems so appealing. Am usually working/with DH/helping family members/chatting to friends which I think means I am craving this time by myself.

But will I regret it when the day comes around? And therefore should I take up one of my friends' kind offers? I want to let them know asap.

Has anyone ever done Christmas Day solo and not regretted it? What did you end up doing? By way of background, I love my own company, take at least one holiday by myself each year, treat myself to solo cinema trips, theatre trips, museum visits, meals out (all in normal times of course).

One of best Christmas was when dh and I spent the day at home, barely talking (companionable silence not row). He played online games, I watched tv. We didn't get dressed. I did have a bath

We were hung over to fuck so ate frozen pizza and nibbles.

I’m spending it alone this year, through choice. Staying at friends’ while they are away. It will be the first time in months that I will have sole control of the TV remote. I don’t know if I’ll bother with cooking a full Christmas dinner; I might just treat myself to some delicious things from M&S. I plan to see friends on the other days so won’t be lonely, but I can entertain myself for several days quite happily anyway.

I had a shit Christmas last year where basically everyone left all the work to me, and I decided I wasn’t going to do that again. My family don’t seem bothered and they can watch the footy all day so everyone wins. I honestly can’t wait and I think you will enjoy it too :)

Although that said, if I get an invite for Christmas lunch, I’m not turning it down!

Christmas day alone for past 4 years. I love it. Christmas Eve is present opening, having a drink and a laugh with DP & my DCs. DCs spend Christmas Day with my DM she does the big meal with all the trimmings etc. I'm at home in bed watching films until about 12pm. Later have an M&S or Iceland Christmas meal for 1. Read. Listen to music. Doze off. Really just doing what I want. DP does come over late evening though, he lives down the road and spends daytime with his adult DC. I can't be asked with all the cooking and planning and fuss about Christmas it does my head in. So I decided to stop. I do see family and friends on other days during festive season. But Christmas Day is lovely and peaceful, just how I like it.

Try it OP. I bet you won't regret it

I often do Christmas alone, OP. There are quite a few of us comparing notes on what to eat, watch etc. I'd prefer to have a partner to share it with, but I've been known to lie to friends and tell them I'm going to someone else's house to get out of other people's family Christmases.

I spent last Christmas on my own. I checked in to a five star hotel for a couple of days. Loved it!! Swam (indoor pool) ate, watched movies, slept in etc. I was so relaxed & happy. My sister is going away with her first grandchild this year so I’m going to do it again. I like my own company anyway and live on my own. This was a present to myself.

I will be doing this once my remaining parent has gone (hopefully not for several years), and I'm sure I will love it. Christmas with other people is usually overrated - once it's over the complaints begin!

I'd spend a normal weekend alone and enjoy myself enormously but not Christmas. Christmas is a time to be spent with family and friends. Of course if you have no family/friends you genuinely enjoy spending time with then that is different - by all means go all out and treat yourself!

'IME trying to fit in with other families Christmas traditions is more lonely than being on your own.'

I could imagine that as well unless it is close family. I have dh and a young family and usually host parents too but I'm naturally introverted and in the future if that situation arose I'd prefer to be on my own than feel like an extra at somebody's house (unless somebody very close of course).

'Christmas with other people is usually overrated - once it's over the complaints begin!'

Exactly this and isn't that when most falling outs happen too?

@Imposter58 - I think @superram and others are right. (& I have had a friend who has done this with us) Which was - don't want to spend the whole day with you but can I pop in to say hello / a drink when you have finished your meal. Worked brilliantly - lots of food etc around for those who wanted - lots of chatting still round the table - but also a film on for those who wanted - but very informal & she said she stayed longer than she thought she would - but because it wasn't officially for Christmas Dinner - it felt more relaxed - so no obligation to turn up at a certain time & welcome to stay as long as you like . I am good enough friends with her I said were she to phone and said she wasn't coming then that would have been OK also - & it would have been - it was an open offer

V long winded way of saying if you have friends you think you can pop into if you are feeling a bit lonely and you know they will welcome you or not be offended if you don't go then that might be a good compromise.

This year I had planned to spend this Christmas & Boxing Day at a spa hotel eating their wonderful, extended buffet breakfast, swimming, relaxing in the hydrotherapy pool, walking/running in the extensive grounds. Sitting in the drawing room by the open fire, enjoying a three course lunch and three course dinner not cooked by me plus wine. Sadly due to Covid they've closed down so now my fridge/freezer is well stocked with a lot of the things I like to eat, wine etc purchased, a stack of books plus a list of films I want to watch whilst tucked under my cozy down duvet instead. Minimal cooking from me (except for my cauliflower cheese supper). I can't wait! 🌹

I’ve done it twice. Regretted it once.

Time I did’t regret it I’d had a lot to deal with emotionally and it was good to get a few days space to myself.

The second time I did it was a couple of years later. I planned to do similar, but kept getting offers from friends, who thought they were being kind, for join them or they’d come round.

To escape those offers, I went halfway across the country to house/cat sit for a friend who was going away. That kind of spoiled it, I was away for 10 days and it was just too much time on my own in a strange place.

Then I still had to field both Christmas and New Years offers from other friends close by.

One of them pitched up from over 100 miles away on Xmas Day to get to join his family do. I felt I couldn’t say no and to top it off, when he dropped me back the (indoor) cat I was sitting made a bid for freedom and we spent ages in the snow trying to get him out from under a massive hedge. I thought I’d have to tell my friend I’d lost her cat.

She was huffed enough that I didn’t just guess I had to move the bin six inches further towards the kerb or the bin men wouldn’t collect it. So they didn’t collect it.

Anyway, it can be great, but you have to get the setting right and be sure of no “surprises”.

@Happynow001 that sounds perfect! And to others' points: I can see that it would exacerbate existing feelings/states of mind. Apart from feeling very tired, am pretty happy with my life.

If I do decide to spend it solo, I may have to lie to friends/family... now that PP have mentioned it, nearly every person I have pondered about this same question to has instantly invited me over. Which is lovely but. :)

Thank you all so much for taking the time to share your views. I love MN.

If you're happy on your own generally (travelling etc) then go for it!! I've never spent the whole day alone but have done morning/evening either side of having lunch with friends and it's been absolutely fine. My choice of TV, food, drink, snacks. Bliss.

Do you have a Twitter account? There's a thing called #JoinIn that happens every year, lots of people all over the place chatting their way through the day either because they're alone, they're with people they'd rather not be with, or they're kind enough to give some time to people who want/need some company. It's really lovely.

Another one here who would love this.

For the past few years, we’ve hosted a friend of DP’s who is on his own until the evening when he sees his kids and I’ve often thought - crikey, if that were me I’d spend the whole day in my pyjamas, get up at 11.30 and get through a bottle or 2 of something nice on my own (with a good movie) instead of driving to be with us and having to put up with my argumentative kids.

I realise this is alittle different but some people host when they really don't want to because they feel they have to because it's Christmas and not to mention guests who overstay their welcome or hosts who get upset if you don't stay for dinner and tea. We have seen it all. A Christmas alone sounds like bliss and so much less stressful than an obligatory one seeing people you may not want to see or who may not want to see you!

It can be quite stressful getting up and dressed and going to someone else's Christmas Day if you aren't really looking forward to social aspect.

So I'd say if the idea of being alone appeals that answers your own question?

I think meeting friend for walk Xmas Eve sounds lovely. You could always do that Xmas day if anyone fancies it or even arrange one for Boxing Day to walk off all the lovely food you'll get to eat without having to share

I love my own company but I'm not sure I would enjoy it. The risk for me would be that it would feel too like an ordinary day or that on the day I'd regret it. I think I would enjoy it if did something where I met other people, like going for a walk or to church. I'd be happy to spend the other days around Xmas on my own.

I've done it and absolutely loved it. Had a nice lie-in with a cuppa, a lovely breakfast and then went out for a run. Came back for an afternoon of my favourite snacks and Christmas films, opened my pressies and spoke to family on the phone later on. It was bliss to be able to do exactly what I wanted, when I wanted - so much less tiring than being with other people and working to their agenda. I'd highly recommend it if you are happy in your own company.

I normally am on my own on the day. Great! No family rows (though we rarely used to), eat what I like, drink what I like and when. though to be honest I am normally working on the day but occasionally have had holidays.

The one that used to hate Christmas o her own (well dad was there but they were typical oldies - had nothing to say to one another and did stuff in separate rooms!). They went out to dinner and mum hated it!

Us three 'kids' were told not to go away again! However both my parents and my aunt have passed on so I can do what I like now!

If you are not used to being on your own for Christmas - why not turn it into a fun day. Indulge in a bubbly bath/face pack/paint toe nails a bright colour and eat whatever you want- selection packs all day long/ bowl of trifle/ nuts and nibbles etc.

I think personally I’d enjoy it if i wasn’t alone the days either side so it was still a novelty if that makes sense? So going for a walk for Christmas Eve with a friend or something as you say. Basically I’d enjoy a day of it but not a whole week but then I am not great in my own company and can spiral down a bit

I was alone for a christmas pet sitting once. It was great. I watched loads of tv. i made the dogs I was looking after a full christmas dinner of prawn cocktail and roasted turkey and gravy (one of the dogs rolled in his prawns, the other one loved it) and I drank stupid amounts and slept in.

I remember it very fondly.

This will be me this year too, but minus the toddler or anyone else.

It's not really something I'm looking forward to specially, given that almost all other days are spent on my own right now too, as I live alone and work from home, all hobbies where I might see people are cancelled, family is far away. I can already have a bath or watch whatever TV I want or read a book or eat what I like. I know that sounds like bliss to some people, but it's not really when you're on your own 24/7 and have been for much of the year. Christmas is hard, watching everyone else with families plan things and do stuff together, and even them all just being really busy in the run-up, with buying presents and arranging visits and baking to share with people and secret santas and whatever. Not that necessarily want ALL of that, but you do end up feeling like you're not really part of the rest of the world at times.

So I think it depends a lot on the person and their circumstances, whether it's a lovely day or a lonely one. If you are normally very busy and have lots of social contact, then one really quiet day in the middle of it all might be heaven. Otherwise, it might be very strange! But equally, trying to make a Christmas for one could seem even lonelier, knowing you aren't part of a family celebration, so maybe in that case, just doing something nice but non-christmassy might be the thing.