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Original poster

Up and alone

14 replies

Cantsleepforsadness · 03/12/2020 03:06

Not really needing a reply (or expecting one at 3am!) just an outlet I guess. We are preparing to have life support switched off for our beautiful DM. She is young (60s) and it was sudden. Lost our Ddad at Christmas also a few years back. Even younger.

I feel numb but deep sadness for my siblings and the grandchildren who are already hurting so much.

Covid has robbed us of final time together also as very strict visitation.

If you are able, tell those you love in the morning just how much they mean to you.

OP posts:
AddisonM · 03/12/2020 03:13

Oh you poor soul Flowers Do you want to talk about it? Or tell us about your lovely mum?

I fell out with my mum today. Stupid argument. I’m not in a good place. I’m going to call her in the morning.

katy1213 · 03/12/2020 03:14

I'm very sorry. What a terrible thing for your family, especially at a time like this.

TheLadyOfShallnott · 03/12/2020 03:15

Bless you for thinking of others in the time of your sorrow.

I’ve no words to make this better for you but know I will think of you and your mum and will hope that her passing is peaceful. I will also hope that you remember her with happy thoughts even though your heart is breaking.

I live with my folks (in my 50s) at the moment. I could tell my mam but she will forget in an hour. I can only hope they know deep down. But I will tell her nonetheless.

I’m sorry that you are going through this Flowers

Original poster
Cantsleepforsadness · 03/12/2020 03:26

Thank you all. Am not sure what else to say really. I am happy our parents will be together, happy to have had such wonderful parents - they really were the best. DMum is so very kind to all. Growing up we didn’t have much at all and they worked so hard to keep us safe, happy and loved.

At the moment I’m in practical mode as have siblings who are not coping but at the same time am deeply, deeply sad.

Am up with the Christmas tree lights on after putting up with dc last night to make them happy but now wondering how I can be strong for everyone.

Work has been okish but suspect they expect a get on with it atttude. Part of me doesn’t care but then again I need to pay the bills so can’t pee them off at a time like this.

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 03/12/2020 03:29

I'm sorry

Don't expect yourself to be strong all the time, that's not fair on you. However also I would say don't worry about how you'll cope because it's unpredictable and your grief will work it's way through stages that you don't expect. For me, I felt totally numb when dad died and then sort of detached because I was focusing on the practicalities. It didn't really hit for me for a while but I think that was my brains way of protecting me.

Original poster
Cantsleepforsadness · 03/12/2020 03:30

I miss her so much already which is making me guilty as still with us. I miss my Dad more than ever tonight also.

My siblings are in their 20s. I’m hurting for them.

Neither parents smoke,drank or anything to excess really. Which of course wouldn’t make it easier to accept but just seems unfair. All they did was live for their children and grandchildren. Our family is so, so close and I love them for giving us that.

OP posts:
TheLadyOfShallnott · 03/12/2020 03:51

Of course you are starting to miss her. She is between you and your dad at the moment.

What a wonderful job they've done as parents to be so loved by you all. When we don’t have much, all we have to give is love and time and you sound as though you had a world of riches in that respect.

Your dad will be waiting patiently for her. And you will take comfort in that as you say.

And don’t feel you have to be the strong one. We strong ones are allowed to break a little too. Flowers

NurseP · 03/12/2020 04:11

So sorry for you. Please care for yourself too at this hard time. Flowers

RLGGG · 03/12/2020 04:22

Sending a virtual hug and hand hold. I'm so so sorry. Here to listen Thanks

Stillfunny · 03/12/2020 04:36

Losing your parents is so very hard. They have always been in your life and you and your siblings have been blessed to have such good ones.
I hope that the happy memories will bring you some comfort during these sad times.
I understand the being responsible one that has to be there for your siblings, they are very young to be losing their mother. But I hope you have someone in your life that you can rely on to support you.

TramaDollface · 03/12/2020 04:37

I’m so sorry OP. That’s no age at all, You all must feel completely robbed.

The fact that you’re a solid family will be a blessing at a time like this.

Omeara · 03/12/2020 04:40

I’m so very sorry that you’re going through this. I hope your lovely memories help you through the sadness.

loubieloo4 · 03/12/2020 04:47

So sorry you are going through this 💐 please don't feel like you have to stay strong and get a sick note for work, that's the last thing you need to be worrying about.

UncomfortableSilence · 03/12/2020 05:41

At the moment I’m in practical mode as have siblings who are not coping but at the same time am deeply, deeply sad.

I'm so sorry, this resonates with me, it's very much what I did when my DF was diagnosed and subsequently passed very recently. But please look after yourself too I am still in this look after everyone else mode and it feels like I haven't even come to terms with his death yet let alone started to grieve.

Offering a handhold for the difficult time ahead.

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